MIL spanking my toddler

Hi all So not sure how to go about this .. My MIL was with my 3 year old and 1,5 year old boys in our bedroom putting pjs on them (I already dressed up 1,5 year old so I grabbed pjs for my 3 year old then left to put fresh bedding on his duvet in the room next to our bedroom ) when I can hear my 1,5 cries out then a loud spanking noise . I went in see my 3 year old son still naked holding his bum while crying & screaming and laying on his side , my 1,5 year old son cry too , when Mil says my 3 year old hit my other son on the head that’s why they cry .. i know what I heard but they all crying so I’m focusing on calming them both down and hoping my mil will just tell me what happened. She didn’t say a word and went downstairs. So I’ll ask my partner to come up and my 3 yr old still upset we ask what’s wrong ? He says my bum hurts , I asked who hurt you ? He says grandma So my partner goes in to ask she denies all and says he just fall on his bum and hit it on the picture frame he took of the wall and anyway we always let him to do whatever he wants and he is going to hit kids in nursery when he starts it next week .. he asks again when she was leaving she denies it again . Bedtime my 3 year old says crying to me mama you didn’t protect me you didn’t save me .. so my partner calling his mum up to clarify when she says well she just was leaning (?) on him to get him away of the baby after him hitting him on the head and he was naked that’s why it sounded like a spank . I’m like why lying then about him falling on a picture frame when that never happened?? She says we always criticise whatever she does but I’m like it’s a bit more serious isn’t it .. any thoughts cause we are about to have a long weekend together and I’m just feeling sick

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That's the exact reasons why we have cameras in our house. No lies allowed and no violence to our kids will be tolerate ever. I'm sorry this happened. Does she know you are not spankers ? Old generations are so fucked up about that... The problem is that it's her words against a 3 years old (Which might feel guilty afterwards) and you have no way to prove it happens. So basically you get to decide if you keep trusting her or not.

Also, if your kid doesn't want to stay with her anymore I wouldn't force him and definitely listen to him.

@Aurélie this. I have cams all throughout my house. I never let anyone watch her alone tho only my moms who I trust 100%. I was never spanked so I know my daughter would never be either.

She spanked him. You heard that. Your little one is telling you. She's already got caught lying. First she said he hit the baby and that's why they were crying. Then she said he fell in his butt and hit the frame, which wouldn't make a slapping skin sound but okay. Then she says he was she was leaning in him? She's lying and that's a problem. He probably did hit the baby, prob on accident and she got frustrated and spanked him. Or while getting him dressed he might not have been working with her and she got upset.

She wouldn't be allowed around my children unsupervised ever again that's it, end of story

Thank you all , I just can’t believe it she never been like this before and I’m sick thinking of how many times she has looked after them .. if this happened before it just breaks my heart cause we do love her and she is a big part of our lives now I have no clue how to move forward..

My husband’s grandmother lives with us she grabbed my son and smacked him for playing with the dog. My son whacked her so hard. I laughed and smiled and said good boy to myself. Fuck that bitch. I cuddled him on the couch afterwards I’ve told her several times to not discipline my son. I’m so glad he stood up for himself

Id probably be in prison if anyone hit my kids

Its illegal to hit children where I am from so I would be making a call to the police. However, I know not all places have laws like that. What I would do if there wasnt a law, I would be very clear to her that she should never put her hands on your children and that she will not be allowed to see them. I’d even say that the 3 year old doesn’t want to see her to be honest that she terrified them!! I’d be so angry I’d have kicked her out the house tbh!

I certainly would not let her see my children ever again. I personally would smack her, but that's me. I would lose my mind if someone laid a hand on my child. For her to lie about it as well is beyond belief. I could never leave my child with someone that would hit them. She has made me so angry and it wasn't even my child. I imagine your child will be so confused and upset. It's so sad. She doesn't deserve access to them

I was trying to reconcile things with her . Write her a letter to explain how we feel and how we do not use physical discipline. She said (to my partner not me) that I don’t have an early childhood diploma (which I have ) but my son never hit anyone at this age (so I’m a shit mother basically). And that my son hits his brother cause he doesn’t know how much it hurts , hopefully after this he will know and won’t do it again ??? I’m so so angry My partner said we can’t trust her cause she lied .. and that he was beaten as a child and don’t want that to his kids . So she brought my parents into it saying don’t worry her parents are perfect and never spank their kids you can trust them .. anyway I’m really angry

What a disgusting women

Never leave them alone with her again

I would respond by saying it is not her place to discipline your children and you do not agree with her methods. Send an article to her about why hitting children isn’t a good form of discipline and abuse. I would add that until she educates herself with current times and respects your rules/understands that this is unacceptable she wont be having contact with your children.

So you need a early childhood degree to know you don't want to spank your child ? She is so out of line. After what happened and especially the way she reacted to it, I would definitely slow interaction with her and definitely not let her with my kids unsupervised and I would tell her just that.

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