Feeling like a bad mom

Honestly I'm right there with you. I feel the same exact way. I have a 2 year old boy he'll be 3 in September and I have a 3 week old girl. He's sweet with her and helps throw her diapers away or he'll hug and kiss her. But when I'm feeding her or holding her he stands in front of me whining wanting something and just whines until I get it. Before I used to be able to get him whatever it was he wanted quick but now I can't and he hates it. And he doesn't listen either , he constantly yells NO or he'll angrily Holler and I definitely am not a patient person either and I feel horrible sometimes I really lose it and will yell... I just want to try to control my temper and have more patience but it is so hard especially with the whining it drives me nuts

so sorry you’re feeling the same way but also so relieved im not the only one. I love that kid but i feel like im going insane with both kids needing attention these days

I’m with you on that I have a 3 year old daughter. She helps with me with the baby & everything. But sometimes she seem very naughty and don’t want to listen to me. She acts out a lot and I get frustrated but I try to keep calm because I know she is also adjusting to having a newborn around seen she was the only baby in the house. I’ve been so exhausted and I tried to have time for her while baby is sleeping I do little things with her like take her to the parks and walks and watch movies with her. But throughout the day she just acts out and starts saying you don’t love me you only love my baby sister which hurts my heart. I tell her I love both of them equally but man that hurts!

My son turned 3 in January and baby sister is almost 7 weeks. He’s exactly the same and so great with the baby! A few things that have worked some of the time to help with challenging behaviors -

I try not to blame anything on the baby. If he asks for something while I’m nursing I say I can get it or do it in 5 min or whatever and don’t mention the baby feeding specifically.

We’ve also really had to lean into the playfulness with trying to get him to do things at times. Even talking about poop and pee constantly lol as he does. Or we do a pajama race with baby to see who can be ready first. Having baby sister “help” brush his teeth because he thinks it’s funny. Stuff like that.

Also acting like he’s going to do something even when he’s resisting. If he doesn’t want to wash his hands I’ll ask how many squirts of soap he’s going to get (he likes to get a ton lol so we’ve gotten him down to 3 squirts).

I remind myself even if we hadn’t had this huge adjustment with a new baby

This age in general can be challenging! Trying to have some one on one time every day with thr toddler can help too.

Also making a big deal out of having the baby wait for the toddler’s needs. “You have to be patient baby, I have to get toddler his waffles and I’ll be right back.”

My 2 year old has been similar! He’s been an angel, no jealousy, adores the baby, is so sweet and snuggly, plays independently so well, but it really is tough when you can’t get them something *right* when they want it anymore and that has def upset him a few times - but it’s a good teaching moment! I just have the mindset that it’ll pass, and it’s also m good for them to learn you can’t always get what you want right when you want it… But also there’s certain things we can do to sort of avoid those situations as best we can, so we make a little basket with all his favorite snacks where he can reach it, and he can bring it to me when he wants something which helps if I’m in a situation where I can’t get up yet! My husband also pre-makes a few juice/water/milk bottles in the fridge every night so the next day I can just super quickly grab one for him for whichever drink he wants! Those 2 things have overall been superrrr helpful!