Incognito on Peanut: Advice? Send me something positive idk

Incognito · 2025-04-16T04:06Z

I feel like every move I make is the wrong one, I try to be helpful to people and be mature but sometimes I just wanna scream and let everything out. I just don't understand. Am I the issue? I've posted in here before about this issue I've had. I'll put it in here again bc now there's an update so to speak. My husbands aunt reached out to us in august of last year and stated she needed help with his grandmother because she has dementia. She was escaping and not getting her meds in time and was declining. The aunt was working 6 days a week to keep up with the bills. We offered to move in and help out. And then sell our house. I was working but was laid off and they had asked me to not work as I also have 4 kids and to just stay home with them and grandma. Before we moved in I was under the impression that we were gonna work together. Grandma had gotten better to a degree. She was actually getting out of bed and started eating which is good in that sense. But she still wasnt fully there. She still wanted to leave all the time she was constantly hiding her purse and random things in random places like one time I found it in the oven. Well it eventually led to just me doing everything except her doctor appointments and her daughter would separate the medicine in cups for me to give her. I had explained that it's hard for me to get anything done bc anytime I'm cleaning gma would bring out clothes she wanted me to have or pictures she wants me to look at, or she needed laundry done ect. Lately GMA had also started getting aggressive with my four year old and threatening to hit him and yell at him. And she keeps saying things like my oldest son who is 10 years old is flirting with her and being gitty about it. I know she's not in the right mind and it's not her fault. I still can't help but worry though something may happen and constantly feeling overwhelmed. And the daughter is constantly having new rules and ways she wants things done, or she is always asking when I'll be home if I leave. To top things off there's six of us in two rooms. Grandma has two large bedrooms and the daughter has the whole downstairs to herself plus a bedroom for her daughter who is 19. Being cooped up in such a small area is a lot to deal with as well. I feel like I'm going crazy myself between all the questions from everyone everyday from gma, my kids, and both the aunt and her daughter. I've mentioned before to the aunt that I needed more help and to come upstairs (she lives in basement) and hang out with gma for about an hour a day. And she gave me Fridays off even though she still asks when I'll be home if I leave. And she just kept saying let me know, just let me know, and then started givig grandmas her meds without telling me when I had already given it to her and doesn't come upstairs still. So today I told her I can't do it anymore. But that I wouldn't leave her high and dry we will help set up another solution and be out in May bc that's when kids are out of school. Im sure you know she didn't like that. So she's telling me we need to get out now and we need to pay the electric bill now. I know she has anger issues but we can't just get out. She keeps starting these little fights with me and finding things to start an argument about. Example: dryer doesn't turn off automatically and before we had the conversation I put her sheets in the dryer and started it. She started getting on me about letting the dryer run all day (she's in the next room over ) and I told her it's your laundry I just transferred it into the dryer. I don't understand why she didn't turn it off and how she was already telling me to get out bc it's awkward having me there and then demanding to turn off the dryer with her clothes. It went from that to "so I can't be mad about you leaving the dryer on all day" like what!?! I just don't know.. Im at a lost on what to do at this point cause I truly believe gma needs all around care. Our floors are still being put in at our house and we can't finish until Friday. Even then the kids are still in school. (Our house is out of district. I know she can't legally kick me out for 30 days but I also don't know if I can handle being bullied that long. And I know that she can't afford a nursing home and if she does it through Medicaid they will make her sell the house and it will leave them homeless. Probably the root as to why she is so angry too. Or she won't send her there but then she's not getting the care she really needs. Also I think the most frustrating part is that the daughter has boyfriends come over one for every other day of the week and she couldn't even take an hour of her day to just hang out with grandma. I'm so annoyed and angry. And she just wanted to criticize and tell me how to do things. I just know it all could've been avoided if I just got the help. I even offered to put her in a senior day care so to speak but I wasn't allowed bc she just said no. Sorry I know this is a lot and I'm not perfect either. I'm a type b mother with 4 kids. So I'm not easier either. I just needed to vent.