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I think we're gonna be one and done. We're leaving our options open for the next 3 years but once I'm 35 I don't want to TTC beyond this as I'm reproductively challenged and the statistics aren't great I just don't want to be worrying about it. My husband has already said once were sure he will get the snip. I have too many high risks with pregnancy and due to previous losses I spent my entire pregnancy in terror and needed CBT I just don't know if it's fair to my mental health to put myself through it again
I have 2 already 😂 but I'm definitely 2 and done haha. If you're on the fence about it I'd definitely have another the relationship my 3.5 year old has with her baby brother is beautiful. It was really hard at first but getting so much easier and she adores him. But If you're one and done that's also absolutely fine 🙂
Yep! Me and my partner always said we’d only have one and we still feel the same, don’t want to spread our love or money thin. He’s our whole world and I’d like to leave it like that! He has 2 cousins who live in the same street so he can play with them! Also I’m 35 this year and it’s harder as you get older, my patience definitely isn’t what it used to be!! There’s no right or wrong, whatever works for you and your family 😊 x
So nice to see a post on this! I am currently thinking this at the moment. My little boy is my world, but my pregnancy was tough, as I had preeclampsia and I know I’ll be terrified next time around🙈at the moment feel complete with 1💓x
@molly honestly i love my son more than anything but seriously dont think i could go through it all again! He has cousins of a similar age and will be going to nursery so wont be lonely x
@Steph yes I feel the exact same! People keep asking me already about having another one and giving him a sibling but i feel so set on one and done! Definitely, I feel like we can still surround them with so much love from family/friends similar ages x
Yes definitely! I’ve always said I wanted 2 children but after my labour with my son it’s not something I can see myself going through again x
I’ve always wanted 2, but after I had my first for at least a year I was certain I was done. Then we’d be on days out and I’d see siblings playing together and my little one would be staring at them, I decided I wanted a sibling for her. Even though she went to nursery and has loads of cousins her age I just thought it would be nice to have someone to grow up with. We should’ve had a 3 year age gap but I miscarried twins so we ended up with almost a 4 year age gap. But honestly it’s the cutest thing! My eldest is amazing with the baby!! And she’s in school so it’s not too much hard work at home xx
I’m on my second and all I can say is it’s way way WAY harder with a toddler and a baby 😅 it’s 10.12am and I’m ready for bed !
Yep. We said this was likely going to be the case if we ever managed to conceive. Now she's here, that hasn't changed. We love her but we only want to do it once. She's definitely enough for us and we want to give her everything. I think, given I ended up having a c section, I definitely wouldn't want to go through that again! It took us a few years to get pregnant, so if it took that long again, I'd not want to do that again either. As much as the idea of siblings is lovely, I don't think it's necessary. I've met lots of local mums on peanut so she can socialize with lots of other children. Sadly we don't have family very close by, though! I've seen how hard it is for those with toddlers and newborns.. and I just don't think I could do it. Perhaps that makes me a bad person, but I know my limits!
I waited 10 years before having another. I was 1 and done then I met my current partner and wanted another with him, I also want 1 more with him lol
@Loren it doesn't make you a bad person I totally get it. It took us 6 years and 3 miscarriages to get to where we are now and while I love my little boy more than anything I don't think I could go through all of that again
Yep! Always wanted 2/3 kids and my husband wanted a big family but yep. Labour was awful and still very slowly recovering and so dependent on help and not sure whether I can even return to my job after mat leave post birth complications. And chances of having twins are high.Definitely not. We're done 🥴
@Holley so sorry to hear that. It's a lot to put ourselves through 😞.
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Yep! It annoys me so much when people say things like 'oh you have to give her a sibling'. I know plenty of people who don't even get on with their siblings so I don't believe it's a necessity! Also, people don't realise other people's situations! I lost my first pregnancy before having my little girl so in some ways I feel I've had 2, one just isn't earth side. It's made me feel so grateful for our little family and I now feel complete! Also, I had HG in my pregnancy so it wasn't easy and lots of scans etc! So my journey hasn't been an easy one which is partly why I'm happy with just one! I'm an only child myself and I know from experience that as long as you have love and feel loved, that's all you need ☺️
@Gemma i agree! X
@Gemma yes! I had a go at my mil as she just kept asking when's the second 🙃
@Amanta my grandmother when I said that I really struggled and didnt think i could do it again with everything thats happened and what I now know about my set of risks told me "but you know you can get pregnant now at least this time you can have a girl" Safe to say I'm not currently speaking to her
@Heather bless you, I do think it depends on the child and the age gap, though. I have an almost 3.5-year age gap, 3 years 2 months to be precise haha and my toddler attends nursery 3 afternoons and 1 morning a week so I find the balance really good and she adores ger brother too and can be really helpful so it's good. X
I said I was one and done 13 years ago. My boy is 5 months now lmao. Never say never
@Holley it's so insensitive it's unbelievable the audacity people have! Hope you're healing from it all x
I think it's too early to know, although it seems to be the question everyone asks you once you've had a baby, are you having another 😆 She's our world, but I've always thought I'd have two. I think it'll make it easier to have a sibling to entertain her rather than me all the time lol