How do I explain to my husband that traditionally, unlike in Anglophone Western countries in my culture women don’t change their surname?

If he’s already your husband, how has the last name conversation not happened yet? That’s something he should have been made aware of the moment y’all started talking about marriage or sometime during the engagement.

Maybe this article from 22 years ago may be a helpful read for him? https://www.theguardian.com/world/2002/jul/18/gender.uk1

@Parker 又 that’s helpful thank you

Has something happened, like has someone said something to him in a way that's lead him to feel undermined or slighted that you don't want his last name and would prefer to honour your tradition? How long have you been married? If he wants you both to share a last name for convenience or for any children that you have would he consider adopting yours or at least double barrelling by joining his and yours?

@Ashleigh I want to honour my tradition but also I just think it makes things very difficult, id have to go through all the paperwork to change my surname, change my passport, mortgage, accounting, inheritance everything it’s so long I just think it’s so unnecessary. We’ve been married for almost 3 years. He also doesn’t share his income with me. It’s very much separate. He’s made it clear that what’s his is his and what’s mine is mine. Our daughter has his surname, I have my dad’s surname even though I have nothing to do with my biological dad. Its typically the dads surname for kids. I said he should consider adopting my surname but he doesn’t want to and won’t do it.