Partner left me

Please leave advice aswell if you can im really struggling with it all ❤️

Don't message him, give him space. Give him a chance to figure out what ever mess is going on in his head. Men are terrible at talking about what's going on in their head which is why male suicide is so high. They'll either come back or they won't and if they do come back it's up to you whether you allow them back in. As this isn't the first time you can't guarantee this won't happen again. So maybe some couple therapy if he comes back might help, just so he has a space to go I felt like this because of this or what ever comes out.

@Helen thank you so much its only been a few days but im so scared to loose my best friend forever. Your right he wont ever talk about how he feels. I’ve mentioned therapy but he doesn’t want ti do it bc he doesn’t want us x

I wouldn't want to be with someone who said they didn't love me anymore tbh. I would be telling myself it's over and making plans to move forwards without that person in my life. If he then decided to try and come back I'd say no, as why would I want that?

Better yet, move on from him to better! This is going to sound mean but he’s not your best friend, a best friend wouldn’t do this to you! If he doesn’t want you then you shouldn’t want him either, he sounds immature and unreliable. I say you grieve the relationship sure then focus on you and your little one, do things that make you happy and then get out there and find someone brilliant!

Don’t message him I think I pressed the wrong one . Never beg a man to be with you please because he will keep doing this especially in your vulnerable times . I’m so sorry he’s treating you like this

Leaving you like that when you have a baby is not okay. If I were you, I would leave him! He doesn't deserve you or the right to be a dad to your baby, if he so easily packs and goes. People might say, oh yeah but he is probably struggling etc. Yeah, but how about you? You gave birth just 7 months ago, you went through a very traumatic body experience, you are still adjusting to being a mum, your hormones are still overwhelming you probably. You need to think first about yourself and the baby. If he had the nerve to leave, he doesn't seems to be caring about you or your baby. My advice - leave him! You will be better off without him.

Don’t message, and don’t wait! The fact he’s done this before, and now done this with a 7 month old in the mix too. He doesn’t deserve you, and this is not someone who respects you. He sounds unreliable and not someone you should want for your child.

@Emily hes done it about 3 times since we had the baby and never once before its just so hard bc all i want and think about is him. Im worried if i dont message he wont ever come home

Ive just got it in my head thats hes coming back home bc of how many times hes done it before and that’s breaking my heart even more he hasnt spoke to me at all not even to ask about our baby it just hurts he can shut me out his life so easily i just dont understand it hes my everything why arent i his? i hate not knowing what hes doing and if hes okay

Why would you want him to come back if he can do that so easily

@chloe just so much harder when your in the situation i wanted to experience all my babies firsts with him and we have been together so long it feels like im loosing a piece of myself xxx

You said he’s left you 3 times in 7 months??? 😳 What were his reasons/excuses for those times and how long was he away before he came back? When he’s left before, does he just announce it that’s it’s I’m done and leaving you, then goes? Or do you end up in an argument or something and then he leaves?

Don’t message him. Know your worth. I know it’s extremely hard to stay no contact with someone that you love, but why would you want to be with someone who’s saying they don’t love you? You are worth so much more than that. Spend time with your little one, make memories & do your best to keep busy! 💖 my inbox is open if you need to talk privately xxx

Don’t message him, give him space to figure out what he wants. Also, use this time to figure out what you want long term. It’s not fair on you when he keeps leaving and coming back. He needs to make his decision and stick to it. You’re worth more than that and he will be the one to miss the firsts with your baby, you’ll still get to celebrate them all. My dad left my mum a few times before he finally split with my mum when I was 7. I spoke to a therapist last year about an unrelated issue and realised that I have abandonment fears now because of it. I don’t blame my dad for leaving, in fact he definitely should have done it sooner but it’s difficult for me because I’m struggling with my feelings because of what happened years ago.

@Neena he’s reasons were that he doesnt love me any more and no longer than a week our relationship has consisted of alot of arguments since we had our lo not daily he kind of just announces it and goes we might have a small argument before but this time i just came home and he said to me that he doesnt want me anymore and can’t keep doing this he said he would still parent our little one but its been 5 days and hasbt asked about him once only seen him once when he came to get all of his belongings i just dint know why he wint fight for us bc we still have our really good moments xx

The first year with a baby is so difficult, and a lot of relationships don’t make it due to the changes, and the attention is no longer on the partner etc. Give him some space, but please don’t sit around waiting for him. You can do so much better, someone who respects you x

He’s given you an answer by leaving. The first time is a mistake, after that it’s a choice. Please do not degrade yourself & beg him to come home, also please don’t let the few good times you’ve shared cloud your judgement of this situation as there is a vulnerable child involved… Practically speaking, if he can walk out on you & your child once, he can do it again. It’s so disrespectful that he just walks out without having an adult conversation or ending amicably deciding what’s best for your child together. Irresponsible & immature behaviour. You deserve the best, not someone who flakes out when they want! I’m really sorry you’re going through this, whatever decision you choose to make, I hope you come to gain clarity & reach a happy place 🫶🏻

You deserve better. Learn to love yourself xx

It sounds like he’s battling something but regardless of that, what he’s doing is cruel, heartless and creating false hope. He’s left you (and come back) 3 TIMES IN 7 MONTHS. Let that sink in. That is NOT normal behaviour! He’s told you he does not love you. Please believe him, as hard as that may be to swallow. When someone shows you who they are - BELIEVE THEM! What your friend has advised is to play stupid childish games. What you need to do is realise your relationship is over and use this time to figure out what happens next. Speak to Citizens Advice and find out about housing, claiming benefits and putting him on child support. You will also need legal advice to discuss custody/visitation. I would advise DO NOT message him at all. If he comes back, DO NOT accept him back. He has chosen to leave, he can stay gone. You now need to figure out life as a single parent and how to co-parent successfully. Your relationship is over. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be.