Hi

Are you guys together and he's just away for a while or are you separated? Do you guys have an okay relationship? Do you believe he will be a present father when he isn't away? Has the father been asking to see/talk to his son while he is away? There are a lot of factors to think about. The main thing is what is best for your childs and your own mental health? Message me if you want to talk about it.

When you say “away” for 10 months my mind immediately went to incarcerated 😬 is it that or away for work or something else? Also how old is your son?

@Abby yes military

@Sherissa my son is 1 year and it’s army idk how to do or what lol

@Lissy ♥️ If you are together and you believe he will be a good and present father and he's been asking it would help your son remember his face and voice better to do video/phone calls. It will prevent your son being afraid/treating his father like a stranger and also prevent some resentment on dads end. May I ask why you feel like you shouldn't or don't want to?

@Sherissa I only don’t want to do it because save him for emotional Distress on him because his family come and go out of life but just a stressful thing you bring me in tears

@Lissy ♥️ I don't mean to stress you out more. I know it's rough to do what you find best for your child when others have opinions. I give you information from my own life experience. I had a bad relationship with my first child's dad and I ended up getting a restraining order but I always believed a child should have both parents. I did the video calls and phone calls and saw it improved father/ son relationship. Eventually I gave up being the only one putting effort into that relationship and stopped initiating the calls and now my son views his dad as a stranger and his father is resentful of me and blames me for everything ( he doesn't make the effort so I ignore this). This is why I said there are many factors to consider. It's ultimately your decision. What do you feel up to doing? You want to save your baby the stress of having unstable relationships. Unfortunately his father is in the military and if he decides or is career military this is going to be the normal for your family. It's a lot.

Anytime I’m gone or my fiance is working and we ft sometimes the kids cry cus they miss him but I made a calendar for when he gets back they see how close or far away it will be. I’m not sure he’s old enough to understand that part but I def think you should still let him see him. Oh! Have your husband make videos for him so you can show your son, I made a private YouTube where my fiance and mom send videos I put on for the kids to dance to or listen to❤️

@Lissy ♥️ especially while you are pregnant. You have a ton going on. Maybe tell his dad you want to put a pin in it until after you've settled with your newborn and if he's insisting on it come back to it.

I put it on the tv if you didn’t understand why the YouTube acc lol

Can you imagine if you had to be gone somewhere and they didn't let you see and talk to your baby every day? You should let them see each other

@Alexis my son is very emotions are more important than his dad

@Abby his dad agree on it he’s very sensitive with his emotions we really don’t want to hurt like he has anxiety already he get too upset it’s not like I want to do it but if what’s best for him that’s what I’ll do

@Lissy ♥️ I think he's probably picking up on your emotions more than you know. If you were enthusiastic and happy about the video calls, I think he would quickly be too. I know video calls with family are a huge source of joy for my girl. Maybe it's time to talk to your doctor about depression? Or getting help in some way.

@Alexis I’m not depressed I’m pregnant his doctor told me he has anxiety he’s said just don’t upset him so I’m going what’s best for my child