Daughter fractured her hand

I have no advice, but I hope others are able to give you some suggestions. You are an amazing mama no matter what💕

@Samantha thank you but it is bothering me the doctors look at me like I'm doing something wrong

I totally get that, have you tried talking to your family doctor about the outbursts? Not saying at all there’s something wrong with her but maybe there’s something else going on that could be causing it? My daughters only a year old so I just don’t have any real advice to give

The only thing that may help is talk to her about the tantrum and explain to her claim and gentle that she needs to understand that isn't a good way of expressing extrem feelings , and see if she be willing to write them in a journal that she can lock if she would like it to stay private so Noone can see what she writes down till she's ready to share them with you . It maynot be a right away but can help out , and maybe getting something she can hit like a punching bag or something similar to one that is ment to be hit

You’re doing your best, and it’s okay to say you’re overwhelmed—because this is overwhelming. Her behavior isn’t just “bad attitude,” it sounds like something deeper that needs real support. A three-hour tantrum with physical harm? That’s beyond typical kid stuff. It’s not your fault, but it’s also not something you can handle alone forever. You’re not just a parent—you’re a human who needs help too. Maybe it’s time to talk to a child therapist or get a referral from her doctor. There might be more going on emotionally or neurologically, and a pro can help guide both of you through this. You’re not stuck—you’re just carrying too much without a map. And that doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a mom who cares enough to ask for help. That’s the good kind.

@Samantha I've been trying

@Rhiannon I've done both the punching bag she pulled down off the door it was a kids one. And get writing is strong so she get mad at that too.

I’m sorry mama, just keep advocating for her and pushing. I know doctors aren’t the best all the time, like I said you are doing amazing mama 💕

Honestly, she needs to see a child therapist. This is not normal behaviour, and you are not equipped to deal with it on your own. Is there a children's mental health organisation near you that you can refer her to yourself? Or even try private if that's in your budget. It may also be worth referring to a pediatrician. This sounds like PDA or something in that vein, but her aggression must be terrifying and needs addressing in tandem with a potential diagnosis. Best of luck 🫶🏻

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. Have you spoken to the doctors about perhaps getting help from a therapist for her? Just to see if you’d be able to see a behavioural therapist who might be able to assist with her tantrums? It’s so difficult thinking that you need to resort to it but any help from an outsider might well be what she needs and especially when you have younger children as well because any time spent with your older daughter is time away from them xxx I truely hope you manage to find a way to make things better for you xx it must be so hard x

@Amber I've been trying to get her in for a while but her father won't sign to have her speak to someone so I'm stuck

In case it helps, the @Nurturefirst page on Instagram is amazing and I ve seen she launched a program to help parents with angry child. I love her content and it helps me a lot to understand my still young kid. She might feel unseen over things or also be extra sensitive or neurodivergent. None of this is bad but there's some approach that helps and she teaches about that (she is a psychologist)

@Aurélie I will try it

Why won't he sign? It's in hers and everyone else's best interests? I'm guessing you like in the states, as that's not a thing in the UK a parent can't unilaterally block necessary medical treatment for a child against another consenting parent

@Amber I live in Ontario but due to no court order I can't get the help I've asked him and he won't becuase she doesn't do this with him but she is also scared to talk to him

I was a lot like your daughter when I was younger. I had been in therapy since I was 4 years old, for anger issues; At the time they slapped an ODD diagnosis on me; but in reality I am autistic with a pda profile (pda stands for persistent demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy) A book that is extremely helpful is “the declarative language hand book” To me, the situation doesn’t sound like a tantrum, it sounds like a meltdown.

Like others have said this isn’t typical behaviour and she’s shown that she will hurt herself. I’m in Ontario as well, so you can apply for emergency custody if you think he’s not caring enough about the child. Is it possible for you to be there with her while talking to him before trying to resort to higher levels like emergency custody? A women’s shelter might even be able to steer you in the right direction for getting her help without needing his consent

Hopefully Samantha's advice can be of help to you more than I can OP, but keep pushing and fighting for your daughter. You are her voice and her advocate in this world 🤍

Try therapy

@Rhiannon I want to for her so bad but I need his consent for them to speak with her and he won't

There’s a lot of sports that help with anger issues, maybe if therapy isn’t viable at the moment you could try and have a look at it?! It might help! I had anger issues when I was younger and played tennis for a long time

Yeah well he is trying to claim I'm abusing here becuase I am trying to help her with not hurting herself and now he is refusing to give her back and refusing to allow her to attend her medical appt for the possible fracture. And refusing to let her learn.

Why the fuck not?!

He is being selfish. He told CAS we are abusing her when we aren't. And becuase she is mad about not getting whatever she wants and say I don't want to go there I don't want to live with you because she doesn't like what is going on and she did that before when she didn't like that he wasn't giving her what she wanted. Now he want to up root her whole life becuase she said I want too