Seeking advice - fathers last name and rights to the baby

Hi all, I’m seeking any type of advice. I recently broke up with my baby’s father. After following that gut instinct I found out he had been lying to me. He has an older son (15yrs) and hasn’t said anything to him or the kids mother. He claims it’s because he’s afraid she’s going to not allow him to see their son but that’s not an excuse for me. So I figured I don’t need the stress and he needs to figure out his life. At this point, I am 6 months pregnant. And been thinking whether I should give the baby his last name. What are pros and cons. If I did that would I always need to get permissions to make decisions over the baby’s life including travel etc. I also think about whether not giving the baby his last name will signal that he has no responsibility. Any thoughts or guidance would be super helpful. This is my first baby and of course never imagined I would be on this situation.

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Hyphenate. And put your last name first.

I think it depends on how involved he's going to be in the baby's life. My boyfriend had a father that wasn't present and his mom gave him her last name only. He respects how she stepped up and it's glad he's not tied by name to a man who barely did anything for him.

@Angelique thanks for sharing your bfs experience. And yes, sadly that is the million dollar question. Wish I knew what was really going to happen

My rule is baby gets my last name until I’m married (: I’m not carrying my baby for 9 months to not having the same last name as my baby. Last names are a privilege for a father and must be earned during pregnancy.

It’s strange the baby mama doesn’t know who the father is and he does… my father was not in my life by choice and it guts me to this day.. What’s the difference between the baby mama not letting him see his child vs him not saying he’s the father? Does he see the child and the baby mama not know the child is his? That doesn’t make sense… It could be he decided not to be in his life, or the baby mama doesn’t want him in the child’s life for a reason.. I would investigate that. :( Sorry you are going through this during your pregnancy. That’s awful.

Your last name, mama!