Red flags 🚩

Is this his first grandchild? He may just be really excited? My partner’s family saw our son the day we came home but it was only a short 5 min visit as they were so excited to meet their first grandson/nephew. After that they gave us all the time we needed and waited until we asked them to come round again. My brother was also the same he wanted to come to the hospital to meet his first nephew but we wasn’t allowed visitors. I think he might just be really excited and is forgetting you need time to rest. We also face timed family rather than having them come over the first few days x

@Krystle absolutely he is really excited and I did feel bad about that at first but I just updated my post to say that I don’t really know the guy (see him around 1/2 times per year) and have explained other factors as to why it’s not suitable for him to visit the house right now (me recovering from C section and our two dogs not coping well with the new arrival).

Oh wow 1/2 times per year? I can understand why now. I had family members want to come and visit who I rarely talk to. I did let them come but I wish I didn’t. I haven’t heard from them in over a year now 😅 hope you are recovering well? I have 2 little dogs who struggled when we first came home, don’t worry they will soon get used to things. One of my dogs used to cry when our son cried and the other used to hide but it doesn’t phase them at all now x

God this sounds like my ex’s mom and her mom… nightmare.

You are not being dramatic. The way I see it is, if your baby catches anything that would make them ill, will your partners dad be there in the middle of the night to soothe your child. The answer is no! And theres also not much you can do as youre still recovering. To others its being selfish, to you, its being prepared. So everyone can sit still and wait or get on with it and wait til youre ready. I say this because we had to lay down this rule to my MiL weeks and months in advanced and it got heated at one point. My mother on the other hand was the one who voluntarily said, she will wait for 2 weeks before seeing her first grandchild as she knows what it takes to recover and adjust. Plus, she respects our boundaries! This is just the beginning Momma, keep making that boundary clear and dont back down.

I see both sides. I get his excitement, especially if this is his first grandchild, however you have boundaries and have communicated them. They need to be respected. That is where he is in the wrong. You are perfectly within your right to set the boundaries you have, whether you've met him once or twice or were really good friends. You have just given birth and you are settling into your new normal. Your hormones and emotions will be all over the place as you adapt to your new family. If you don't want anyone visiting then that's okay. ❤️

I don’t think you’re being dramatic, he is being really strange. I would feel the same. However just because you only see him 1/2 times a year doesn’t take away that he’s your partners dad and this is also your partners experience so if you’re worried about his dad maybe have a conversation with your partner about what kind of man he is so maybe your partner can give some sort of insight to why his dad is acting this way

You’re not been dramatic at all, I had to stop reading and continue a little later because I was getting myself stressed. What I would do, it I see you could do, it’s to arrange a visit giving the day an the times and at the same time arrange with someone you fully trust ( mum, sister, whomever) to come same day same time to help you with him if you think you and your partner deal with him and be ready to act and kick him out when it’s time. How does that sound? It’s just an idea of course! We’ve got you mama!

I came out of an emcs the other day and I would be damned if my partner hadn't already set boundaries in place on my behalf before I even recovered consciousness. The pressure, especially on new post-surgery mums from grandparents (first grandchild or not) is in my opinion in really bad taste. A week wait won't matter to the baby or the grandparents, but for you it could mean everything. My legs are still swollen all day, I'm wincing at my incision pain every time I move, I'm trying to learn how to latch and breastfeed my baby (which can lead to frustration) and I'm absolutely exhausted. Between having my boobs out every 10 mins, and generally being really vulnerable, nobody needs to see that until you're comfortable, they're no less new in a week or two time than they are a day. Keep firm boundaries, stick to them and do what is right for you. Protect your wellbeing it's so so important.

i get he’s excited and maybe in competition to be first like you’ve said but he’s coming across as insane to me and i’m kind of a bitch so i’d tell them they either listen to me and respect the boundaries i’m setting for myself and my family or i’ll make them the last person i know to come and see the baby. i don’t get why people can’t just listen and accept things without taking it personally. i would never just appear at the hospital or even someone’s house when they’ve just given birth cause i know giving birth isn’t a fun experience