Toddler aggression towards sister ?

My first boy is the same way with my newborn. I think it's jealousy when it comes to them seeing you with another baby. For a while it was just them and mom. So it definitely takes time to get used to change

It’s so hard isn’t it! She wasn’t like it initially but I think she was so little she didnt really notice the baby or understand . It’s making me feel like I’m a terrible mum 😓. No amount t of reinforcing it seems to be helping !

Hey im in the complete same situation! It’s happened since my youngest was born and hasn’t stopped he’s 11 months olds now, everything I’ve tried hasn’t worked. Time out, talking calmly ect nothing is working. We have just bought a “good chart” with stickers to try that approach, we have stickers of things the oldest really likes to see if that helps but this is the first day of trying it😭😂 I think it is normal and to be honest I sadly have no advice, it’s such an awful feeling and really gets me down as well. I just keep telling myself when my youngest gets older I’m hoping he will stop as he will be walking and doing the same thing to him😂 xxxx

It is very hard and frustrating. I don't want to be mean and yell because I don't want him to have resentment towards his brother. It's just hard because he dosent listen to me or really understand what's going on fully

My 2 year old won’t go near her, he will grab her by the hand and and lead her away from my arms or lap. He doesn’t want her touching his tablet or his things. He’s non verbal still but I think it’s jealousy as they themselves are still little and don’t like sharing our attention for them. With time it will get easier. At very first he hasn’t hit her but he will grab her hand meaning to lead her away. If she’s not on his space he won’t go near her or hit her. I started to do some games home involving the baby, I hold her in my arms in ground level and I say , Mela catch brother Dion and I run after him and both are smiling and he enjoys that, if he sees her standing he goes near her smiles and runs away as he wants to play and he has eased with her a bit. I suggest make it a bit funny and games and make the attention mentioning her first. Takes time but don’t feel guilty they will grow and have such a strong bond ❤️

My two are 14 months apart and fight and push each other constantly. It’s not just you! They’re 2.5 and 1.5 now

I had the same it is hard and as parents we shout out of fear. It’s best to just keep removing her from the situation and trying to stay calm (easier said than done) because she is getting attention when this happens she will keep doing it. So try sticking to a simple no and remove the little one. Jealousy plays a big part but so does responding as any attention is attention she is getting, more than the little one by playing up

Try the Bratbusters podcast / Instagram page. She’s had some really good advice that has helped me

Thanks everyone you have honestly all made me feel better. I tried to talk to my friends about it but they all didn’t seem to have ever had the problem which made me feel bad! They all have bigger age gaps tho so maybe that’s why 🤷‍♀️. I spent a lot of time playing with her and her dolly this evening and modelling gentle and good behaviour and she seemed to love that so hopefully that will help. Everyone’s advice is always “try and spend one on one time with her “…. But that’s hard with a baby who won’t take a bottle and a husband who works full time with no family help around !

I understand how hard it can be to give one on one attention to each of them. I have a 3yo, 2yo & 10wk old. I put so much effort (from the moment I found out I was pregnant with my second and still on going) into showing them gentle and explaining to them. I’ve used stuffed animals, baby dolls. My older two I sometimes have to referee toddler fight club (okay that’s a bit dramatic!) If one hits the other for some reason, I take them aside I tell them we use gentle hands, can you show mummy gentle hands? And I guide their hands and use gentle motions, I try get them thinking by asking why are we hitting? I also make it fun after we’ve talked about it. Tickles are gentle hands! Mummy’s gonna tickle you! And lastly I reiterate that we need to use gentle hands if we want to play. As for one on one time it doesn’t have to be without your baby present. I give all the littles one on one time - when my oldest wakes up (he’s the first one) we have nice snuggles on the couch/in bed

I love it because I used to say good morning! How did you sleep? Etc So now he comes running up yelling good morning, how did you sleep? Shows me a toy and we play a little until my 2yo gets up. 2yo is a serial teddy bear and loves snuggles too but I have my time with him before he goes to bed. If they come up to me for whatever reason I show them affection and give my 100% attention when I can. I include them in the care of each other. My two boys love helping with their baby sister. I say things like oh no babies crying! Should we go check on her? Etc. now when she cries one of them always runs straight over and gently pats her tummy or head. Or baby needs a change, what outfit do you think she’ll like? The other thing I do if they’re interacting nicely with each other I tell them what they’re doing right - aww you are playing so nicely, I really love it when you share your toys! If baby is smiling at them I’ll tell them, baby is smiling at you, she likes it when you do that!

Same here. 2 year old and 1 year old this upcoming weekend. He didn’t really bother with her in the beginning, just like an object almost. When she started crawling he showed some interest but not a whole lot but once she started walking at 9 months totally different. Didn’t want her touching his stuff, would take stuff out of her hands. Not much hitting or anything. But I find he does better when I correct her too. If she tries to hit him, or take something I correct her too. I think in the beginning the jealousy was more towards her not getting corrected and him feeling like we were always saying no to him. I try to overly praise either one of them doing nice things or playing nice. So now if he finds her pacifier he will run to where ever she is to put it in her mouth. He’s attempted kisses and hugs but only likes it if he initiates lol but she adores him and follows him around.

@Elizabeth I’m glad you’re feeling better, this post made me feel better as well! It’s nice to know we are not alone! Everyone I spoke to said the same thing “it’s not normal” and it’s horrible to hear and exactly that the health visitor said to me just spend more time with the oldest one so easier said than done ❤️