Mother’s Day

I wouldn’t do anything for him on Father’s Day

Omg absolutely not. It should be Mother of his child before his mother always. He’s started a family he has to recognize that.

@Leaha if I did that his family would be upset and do something anyways

Oh well you’re upset and doing something with your dad …I say he’ll be fine and if he feels some type of way be like oh I thought it was fine

@Alyssa 🌹 that’s not how it is though. For my birthday he spent it with his sister. For our anniversary he’s planning to spend that weekend with his sister and his mom. For my son being born his mom was the first one to hold him after me and his mom and sister were in my delivery room and I didn’t want to post my son on social media but he told everyone they could. It was a safety issue with me that I didn’t want him posted anywhere

@Leaha I have to think about his feelings before my own. I’ve been suffering from really bad postpartum and got into therapy and he flipped when he found out I was going to start therapy

My partner is to busy planning a big birthday bash with money we don’t have, knowing full well that his birthday is a week after I’m meant to give birth but he doesn’t seem to care about my comfort or the health of his son, and he’s planning Mother’s Day with his mother but only putting the bare minimum for me

I get it but when you get tired of being the second option to his mother and sister you should reciprocate his actions and energy. He knows your gonna think of him and it’s not fair to you that he doesn’t think of you

@Stephanie my boyfriend has another son. He’s always talking about taking him out to go do things but never includes our son in any of these plans. It’s like me and my son are the farthest thing from his mind

@Leaha I tried that and he put a knife to his throat and threatened to kill himself with our son sleeping not even 5ft away and then stood in between me and my son so I couldn’t grab him

My partner has no other children besides our first son and the one I’m currently pregnant with and we are still the furthest thing from his mind, but got forbid I put the bare minimum into his birthday or Father’s Day

That’s not good I’m really sorry he treats you like that I want better for you but you gotta make that decision

@Stephanie exactly. His birthday and Father’s Day he’s expecting this big thing and me to go all out but I didn’t even get a happy birthday from him that day and he freaked out when I mentioned doing something with my dad because he’s planning to do stuff with his mom and sister

@Leaha I’m scared to leave because I have no one. I have no one I can fall back on or any help I can get and I’m worried if I do leave he’s gonna kill himself because he almost did when his first baby mama left before I met him

Exactly, like my partner wants to do this big birthday celebration with his family, knowing I’ll just have given birth, and his family is nothing but drama, and he gets upset when I said I won’t be attending because we have a newborn and I don’t trust his family with our oldest son, and he only got upset because I wasn’t going to put the effort into planning it for him, and like on Father’s Day he expects a big celebration but last I checked his not my dad,

You should leave, he sounds unstable

He can’t hold that over you if he loves you that much he would think of you and your son more . And that’s understandable you might have to secretly start saving money and looking for spots

@Leaha I can’t afford to save money. I’m just barely going back to work and I don’t make a lot, I have to be able to get diapers for my son and get all his things he needs because my boyfriend did one time and got the wrong diapers and my son had a major reaction to them even though I told him he had a reaction to the kind he got but he wanted what was “cheapest” and my son has a lot of health problems rn too so I have to save to be able to take care of his surgery that he needs

@Cindy I would if I had a way too

There always shelters you can go to say your homeless or go to a domestic violence shelter. Don't ever think you can't get out. Go to family or friends get a job out your child in daycare. It's better to get out now before things gets worse. He could kill you and your child. I've been in a few abusive relationships and I sure and the hell didn't stay I left

@Marcie I’ve been in abusive relationships before. I’ve never been worried about him hurting me or my son. It’s always just been mental abuse. I have no family or friends, I can’t afford daycare, I can barely afford gas on top of paying for all of my sons stuff

Des helps with childcare. Try to apply for food stamps if you aren't on it and just put you and your child on it

@Marcie my son and I are on food stamps but my boyfriend takes my card and uses it for his stuff all the time

I’m sorry but you need to stick up for yourself. You have to start somewhere. You either move on or deal with it but everyone is on your side and you keep telling us why you can’t do it when you def can you just scared . Which is understandable don’t get me wrong

Threatening to hurt himself based on your actions is abuse and a form of blackmail. Until he gets better and gets the help he needs, he will never treat you and your son the way you deserve. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this situation is for you. I hope you know that you and your child deserve so much better and understand that this is not an acceptable way to be treated. There are a lot of resources available for women in your situation when you are ready to seek them out. In the meantime, keep yourself and your son safe and do what you can to make your child your priority and know that there are so many women here to support you.

@Sarah I’ve tried to tell him to get help, to go to therapy and he wont. He’d rather solve his problems with smoking. I love him, he gave me the one thing I wanted my whole life that I was told would never be possible for me and I don’t want to give up

You need to contact a DV hotline and see if women's shelters can help. I'm sure people can help. What he is doing is emotional abuse. He is abusive and controlling. You and your son deserve more. When you reach out to the DV hotline, they can possibly help organise legal representation for you so you can seek child support and any other financial support you are entitled. You don't deserve this, and neither does your son. Any choice your partner makes is on him and him alone. Nothing he has done or might do is your fault. You need to safely leave him. Don't tell him your plans either. Sending love ❤️

Definitely not cool. I’d go where I was wanted, not trying to force him to do it when he clearly doesn’t want to. Sorry you’re going through that.

You can’t ever force anyone to get help, all you can do now is let them know help is available and encourage them. However, that doesn’t mean you need to be the punching bag. You don’t have to give up on him, but you do deserve to put yourself and your son first. That sweet baby of yours wants his mom to take care of herself, you deserve it ❤️

@Sally I wasn’t even trying to force him to go with me, I was letting him know and asked if he wanted to join me

@Sarah I’ve been through so much in my life and him and I had a really great relationship before our son was born and it was like he did a complete 180. I just don’t understand it because he has another kid

@Hannah his first baby mama has him on child support but it’s a fight to get him to even pay her. He won’t do what he needs to for it and his mom has to hold his hand to walk him through it. He owes her so much back support it’s not even funny. I feel like it is my fault because I put so much on him. I pushed him to get a job because he was sitting at home for 3 months while I went to work every day during my pregnancy to make ends meet and I had a rough pregnancy

None of this is your fault. I stand by everything I've said. Contact DV hotlines, and reach out to anyone and everyone who can help. This situation is so unhealthy for you and your child.

This is my first Mother’s Day, and my husband is making it about me. Yes we are getting his mom something and my mom something, but this is a huge deal for you. Yes you aren’t his mother but he should love you enough to know this is important to you. This is an important Mother’s Day. The least he can do is take you with him when he goes out with his mom and sister.