in London
Some advice on toxic sister in law
My sister in law hasn't spoken to me in one year, since my husband and I moved into the family house that he pays for. She knows I'm pregnant and ~1 month away from giving birth. At family gatherings she avoids being in the same room and where that's not possible she doesn't address me directly or look me in the eye. We will be hosting a baby shower at home and it looks like she'll be attending and ignoring me. She even got an expensive car seat as a gift and put it in the corner with my baby shower decor as if to say "here you go", without having to speak to me.
I don't want her anywhere near my baby or at the hospital when I give birth , but I could see her tagging along with her mom and not looking at or addressing me. I am thinking of telling her (directly or via her mom) that I don't want her there.
What would you do? Would you keep the gift? Would you let her visit the hospital considering it's her niece.
I also have a toxic sister in law (husband's brother's wife, so not related or anything). We don't speak, but she has sent gifts for my daughter, and she goes out of her way to avoid talking to us whenever possible (loves seeing my daughter, though). I don't refuse gifts from her, especially because we have given gifts to their sons for years and never had so much as a thank you. But I won't refuse gifts for my child. There's no point making a child suffer for an adult conflict.