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I would love the opinion to know if I should feel some type of way or not. I am home all day with the baby but when dad comes in from work he rushes out to basketball. The other day we got into an argument because I wanted us to go out as a family because the weather was nice he told me no because he was tired he works all day.. keep in mind it was the weekend so he didn’t have work on this day. But yet you come in and rush back out to play basketball after working all day. That frustrates me plus I am home all day but instead of giving me a break to shower or get myself together. You get to run out and do what you want. I feel as a mom I don’t have that emotional ability to leave our baby he’s only 3 months but it’s like dad gets to still live life. I have the baby 90% hell 95% of the time even on his days off.
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.My husband comes home and takes a shower, eats then we talk for a bit but then I say I need to have some time to myself. Not every night, but a few nights a week I need that time alone. Today when he gets home, I’m gonna need time alone asap lol. I had the kid solo last night and all day today so I NEED it. Sometimes he gets upset about it too. I don’t know the answer to our problem but I feel ya on this!!!
My husband and I had the same argument. He works overnight and when I was on maternity leave, he would come home, smoke, play the game and then go to sleep. I lost it one day when he told me I had time to shower at 3am when I woke up to feed our son. I went tf off on him and told him about himself because he had me f’d up. See, I’m petty asf because I would say to him “ you got so much time and energy to play basketball. But none for your family? Got it.” And start doing all kinds of fun shit without him. And when he questions why, say because you only have enough energy for work and basketball. Hope they keep you warm at night
So have set days for him to go to basketball after work and you have you set days that he’ll come home and either help w the baby w you there, or you hop out for a couple hrs and go to gym or swim or sauna or whatever you wanna do. I don’t mind hubby having hobbies and seeing friends, as long as I get to as well. So instead of holding him back, I keep him accountable to his days, and I have my own days where he knows okay he can’t go basketball today it’s wifeys day she has a yoga/Pilates/dance class at 7.30, or it’s her gym day etc. My hubby has bowling Wednesdays, I have dance Tuesday and Fridays, and he’ll see friends Thursday night and I’ll see my friends Sat night, those days can be switched around but our hobby days are enrolled and locked in and prepaid for by the season or the week (my dance lessons come out of my acc a week before) we have family day every Sunday and we go to my Mums Sunday arvo, it works here, it’s fair. So you demand your time and put it on the calendar
My husband is not allowed to play basketball unless he gives me a day that can replace the time his gone. If he plays 2 different days, I get 2 days as well.
Gosh I accidentally hit you’re over reacting 🫠 I completely agree with you! I swear some men think their life doesn’t change when their woman gets pregnant. It really ought to be a balance of responsibilities. And it’s not like you were trying to ditch him you wanted family time which is so important for everyone. I’m sorry he argued with you about it. Maybe try to rehash the argument but focus on “I”statements instead of “you”. I know my husband gets super defensive when I start statements with “you”. Ask him how he would feel if he were in your shoes! At the end of the day it’s all about compromising/balancing one another’s needs individually but also as a whole family.
He doesn't seems to be involved. If he is tired of working, so are you for being on duty 24/7.... That's not ok
No one should ever been solely responsible for the kids in a relationship. My wife and I (2 mom household) split everything . I work M-F and she stays home with our 2 kids and she works weekend and I have the kids on weekends . On week days when I get home from work I take over with the kids to give her a break and vice versa on weekends. We also each have our own “me time” 1 evening a week to do whatever the hell we want. It works really well and no one feels burdened
This is terrible behaviour on his part but why are you allowing it? When is your time to do what you want? It should be at least roughly equal!
I agree with Caroline. Don't allow it sit him down and tell him otherwise I'd be leaving. I wouldn't want to live a life like this, and you and your baby deserve better. My partner works mon-fri we have a 4 month old and an almost 4 year old when he gets home from work he does with part with the kids, including bedtime and bath time, because why wouldn't he? He's a parent. Weekends we always do fun things together as a family, he also plays golf now and again and il go out for lunch now again with sister or friends because we also need time away for ourselves we have a great balance and we are all happy
Sorry I pressed you are overreacting by mistake. Your feelings are valid.
My husband works long hours but when he gets home (after a shower) he definitely plays with our son while I make dinner or shower. If he's really tired he'll just lay in his play area and our son uses him as a jungle gym. Days off, we do things even if he'd rather relax sometimes, sometimes I let him nap/relax and take my son to do things by ourselves. But if I need some time to myself, I ask for it. All you can do is communicate how you feel! Moms need a break too.
Oh hell no. He needs to give you a break or at minimum spend a few hours with you guys.
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