in November 2023 Babies 🇺🇸

Need honest feedback (long story)

I’ve been dealing with toxic in laws for a while now. My husband has talked to his sister letting her that I don’t like it when she bosses me around and tries to tell me how to parent our son. So a few months back, I was at a family party. I was holding my toddler talking to a friend, my sister in law walks up to me and says “he has boogers, wipe his nose.” She walks away and comes back and says “get out of the way, the guys with equipment are passing through. I tell her “hey we’re fine” and I dismissed her. Later on the night, my son coughs. Alarm bells are going off in my head as I rush to get his cough medicine. He takes his medicine and he kind of chokes on it and his coughing intensified. My sister in law yells at me “take him to the doctor!” I loose it and go off on her telling her to stop bossing me around and that I’m sick of her walking all over me. She yells back, “I don’t even do that!” The yelling and cursing continue until she tries to charge at me and get in my face screaming with two men holding her back. The night ends as my husband comes in and tells her to go away and we take off. Fast forward two months and I have a family friend tell me that my sister in law’s feelings are valid because I was cursing her out. Am I crazy or am I being gaslit?

Show your support

You definitely aren’t wrong. But this is why you need to talk to her before it gets to that point

Im sorry you have to go thru that. Its hurt when you are being told what to do as if you were incompetent to take care of your own child. I believe you had enough of her so thats y you cursing her out. whatever it is, your feeling is valid too.

@Tika Den thank you. I’m not a confrontational person. My husband has talked to her a few times about how I don’t like her micromanaging me yet she kept doing it until I snapped.

Yeah you’re not in the wrong. I mean maybe cursing is a bit too far but honestly I’d snap too. I’m the type to say smth back though like “oh!! Thanks for that, but I wasn’t really looking for commentary 🙃”

A lot of moms have this experience with an individual overstepping boundaries and undermining their confidence as a parent. It took a while for my fiancé’s great aunt to stop pushing her weight around and I simply told her, “I live with him, I raise him. Thank you, but he’s clearly alive and thriving in my care.” She respected my words and has been supportive from a distance since. Even if you’re not the confrontational type, you need to be straightforward when you see her again. Something along the lines of, “Look, I know you have ideas on what you think is best for my child. However, *I* am the parent and will continue to do what’s best for (insert kid’s name) within my own discernment. End of discussion.”