Am I overreacting?
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Personally the holy water would absolutely bother me because, holy or not, it’s probably germy if anyone in the church can touch it. A 2.5 month old shouldn’t be subjected to that. The whole situation would honestly bother me, so I feel you’re justified in your feelings. The only part I’d say could maybe be reaching on your side would be the blessing from the priest. The blessing itself would not bother me as long as this particular priest/person had no allegations or fishy background. However, it would bother me if they let the priest hold the baby without asking first because I don’t want a stranger holding my baby, priest or not.
I think you set a boundary and it was crossed. Not by his mum - unless you told her beforehand that you and hubby had come to this agreement - but by your husband who you set a boundary with and he very clearly ignored. I’d be annoyed with him too. What’s the point in ever agreeing on how you’re going to parent if he just ignores it the first opportunity he gets 🤷🏻♀️
@Ema I said his mom took him with our baby, she didnt stop to ask him before she took them over to the priest. And he’s too afraid to talk to his mom about serious topics
Definitely crossed a line! I would have been fuming too, and whatever the reason you have, it should be respected!
His mum took a grown man, how are you so sure she didn’t speak to him beforehand and he was too afraid to tell you about the plan? I’m not Catholic but I know these blessings are usually planned even if it was right before service started. She must have signalled it was time to her son and he understood. Either way, your anger should be towards him and not his family. My family can only control things as much as I will allow them.
@Ema blessings can be off the cuff, they’re not always/usually planned x
You need to talk with your husband and set clear boundaries. He must communicate these firmly to his family. His fear of confronting them leads to blurred lines and weak teamwork. Actions like placing holy water on your child, without mutual agreement, clearly cross boundaries. Even for an adult who isn’t religious, such actions can feel invasive and inappropriate.
It's your hubby you should be annoyed at essentially he allowed her to do it.
I wouldn’t even take a 2.5 month old to church, they’re known to be mega spreaders. But that’s besides the point. I’d definitely been bothered by the water but some people just really have no common sense. The blessing, I’m sure she did with good intentions. Should have probably asked but must have not thought about it twice. Specially not really knowing you, or your stances. I think going forward you have to set clear boundaries with your husband. A lot of men are terrified of standing up to their own mothers or just want to avoid conflict. If he doesn’t speak to her, you’ll probably eventually have to. And hopefully she’s not one of those MILs that oversteps. Otherwise you’ll just have to avoid certain situations all together. Bc baby is only 2.5 months, there will be more of this. I like to nip it in the bud early.
What is it with mums thinking they get the all say so. You said him and his mum not just his mum, she clearly asked him if it was okay and he wanted that for his son. The only person who disrespected you here is him, he should have asked you if it was also okay with you. To me, not wanting your child to be blessed by a priest because some other priests committed child sexual abuse is just a silly excuse.