Can I vent without feeling guilty?

I left my abusive relationship and moved back in with my mum and siblings when my eldest was born. I was sleeping on the sofabed in the living room. It's so hard to have a routine when your living out of a room but your doing the best you can. Remember it's not forever. Also regarding the videos/pics of other people don't forget they only want you to see the good parts I can guarantee their life is always that together. If I post on social media it's the good positive happy parts not the bad. So take it all with a pinch of salt.

@Jess thank you 💞 made me feel a lot calmer , my mind just rushes with thoughts but now it stopped and feel ok. I’ll do my best I can with what I have

Trust me social media is a big fat lie lol remember those videos are edited to only show you the good parts of their day. I started off at home in my bedroom with my son and was feeling exactly how are rn. So I’ll tell you it gets better. You’re welcome to message me so we can chat more xx

Do not believe that anything you see on social media is reality. It’s an entertainment industry, that sort of content is carefully planned, filmed and edited. It’s an idealistic portrait of a newborn routine, the vast majority of mothers are going through exactly what you are, just winging it, finding it hard and muddling through with not much routine. Rather than turning to social media, find some local baby groups or classes, talk to other mums there and you will find that they are going through the exact same struggles as you.

Hey girl, I’m just hoping to offer you some comfort & encouragement. Honestly, social media is full of sh*t. Granted there are mothers out there that can “commit” to that schedule. Have some grace for yourself. You’re not a robot, you’re a mother. It’s hard to not have a “real” village but the more you look at the failures the less time you have to celebrate your accomplishments. Do what works best for you and your baby. Don’t take after these content creators. You’re only seeing what they want you to see vs reality.

I completely understand, my son almost 5 months and I still don't have a routine, and I'm always too tired to actually keep things organized, it's way harder than what u see on social media, but hang in there and keep doing the best u can

Give yourself some grace love. Being a parent first time or any is hard and it takes some time to adjust. Don’t go off what you see other people are doing, comparison is the worst stealer of joy. If you wanna post or even just get your life together then work with what you got. With my first baby we were waking up (during my maternity leave) at 12 maybe 1 everyday, she was breastfed and I would give her vitamin d drops when we would get up before I fed her and then kept them on my desk when I was going back to work. We were living out of a bedroom as we were staying with my husbands family and it was rough but I did what worked for me. I recently had my second baby and am now on maternity leave and he gets up in the morning but I go back to sleep and get up at noon maybe 12:30p latest and start my day then. You have to do what works for you and realize things change as you grow and adjust. Sometimes you will wake up earlier or later but don’t be so hard on yourself

Ignore TikTok. That’s not real life. It’s a scripted, well written snippet of what someone wants you to see. You’re better off asking on here where you have women/folks that will give real life experiences and advice. You’re not doing badly. At all. You’re coping the best in a tough situation. Don’t be worried about routines right now. Just go with the flow. If baby doesn’t wake until 11/12, then that’s when you start your day. Don’t worry about vitamins saying to take in the morning. If baby wakes at 12, then that’s the baby’s morning. If you forget. You forget. All parents have been there. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. None of us are perfect. Newborns aren’t even capable of having a solid routine. They don’t start recognising routines until 4-6 months. Go with their cues. If they want to sleep, let them sleep. There’s no rush for anything. I’m 4 months in and still no solid routine. We go with her flow. We follow her cues.

It’s currently 10:20am where I am and she’s still asleep and I’m still in bed. Im only awake because she was a bugger to get back to sleep despite being tired and now I’m wide awake. Social media makes it appear easy when in reality it’s not. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Concentrate on getting to know your baby and enjoying this time with them. If the room is a mess. Then it’s a mess. It’s not a priority right now. And that’s ok x

Remember those peoples priorities are how many views they get as they make money from it so of course they want to make it look super polished. It’s very possible they have a lot of help behind the scenes or just have a perfect unicorn baby unlike the rest of us 😆

People only post what they want others to see on social media. Ignore it, it's unrealistic as every parent and baby is different. I'm nearly 3 weeks pp, some days I can have breakfast by 9am, other's I don't get chance to eat at all. Try and take it day by day and do what works best for you and baby. Some days will seem bad, but the good will outweigh them xx

We lived with my mother in law when I was pregnant with my first. We stayed in the bedroom majority of the time. About when he was 5-6 months is when we moved out (lived there for about a year). I didn’t have any routine. I just went with the flow. My husband also worked graveyard at the time. He’s gone at night but home in the morning. He’ll sleep on the floor because baby would sleep on the bed with me and he didn’t want to wake both of us up. We’re moving out of our first apartment (after 5 years living here) and moving in with my oldest sister and her 3 kids. We’ll be taking over my nieces room. It’s only temporary until we move into our new apartment. We’re moving back to hometown as right now, we’re about an hour away and my family is also there. My mother in law currently lives 20 minutes away but when we lived with her, she rarely helped and/or guided me/us. I was winging it, honestly. I’d fall asleep from tiredness and would wake up freaking out if he’s doing okay.

I live with my parents too. I'm 26 with a 7 week old and no schedule, just a timeless routine. We feed him on demand, change and burp him, then after some stimulation time he takes another nap. I sleep while my partner takes over or while he's sleeping (though it's hard) You're doing amazing. Tiktok is full of lies, half those moms are not actually doing what they're portraying Give yourself some grace ❤️ you've never done this before and perfection is a myth. Is your baby healthy? Are you healthy? Then you're doing great

When I had my oldest I was 18 and living with my parents. I had noooo clue what I was doing. We coslept, had no schedule, I never gave him vitamins. I didn't even take him to the dr regularly because I didn't know what a well check was, just if they scheduled my next appt when I was there then I'd show up. He's now a healthy and pretty well rounded 16 year old. And as others said, social media is bs. That's not real life. Just what they want you to see. I'd say we have a general routine but it's very loose and rarely goes according to plan.

DO NOT compare yourself to social media. They video their best moments and post that. Which means, the 6 out of 7 days they don’t post lol, and post one. I only post my good moments like why should I post a tantrum or me frustrated or the bad moments lol, I try to keep my IG encouraging and positive which means there’s no bad moments of mine on there. My boy has woken up at 8-9 for years - I’m not a morning person either . So when I see a reel of a mum waking up at 6 (before the kids) have a shower have a coffee get her workout in, I just laugh. Because maybe she can do it but this mama gonna take every second of precious sleep I can lol. Do not compare, just do you.

All the videos you see on tiktok are already edited and scripted! Ain’t no way these moms waking up wih nice set of pajamas, not messy hair, have all time to do all those “errands “ but like trip to target/sephora and just full of energy and ready to take on the day. Or don’t forget their pilates at 5am before the baby wakes. Hahaha i just laugh every time i see those because it’s all lies. Don’t feel bad not having a routine. Do what’s best for you and your baby. Not every thing should be planned or you’ll get crazy once it didn’t go well according to your schedule. Huggggss momma!

Them people lyinggg !!! lol nobody has a perfect newborn they all screaming and crying . They cut out the hard crazy parts

I wasn’t restricted to a bedroom and I slept when baby slept, fed on demand and we contact napped until she was ready not to. If baby slept until 8/9/10am then I rarely got up before her unless I needed to. Some days we were up and out and other days I was still in my PJs at 2/3pm 😂 The only sort of routine I ever had was from roughly 12 weeks old when she set a bedtime for herself. I still don’t do a set routine to this day and she’s nearly 2 and she’s happy, healthy and thriving. Do what is best for you and your baby x

Hey❤️ always remember every baby is different just like every one of us are different. Something that’s works for one may not be a good fit for another and that’s okay!! As long as your baby is happy, healthy, and growing then you’re doing an amazing job!! It’s really hard being the primary parent, knowing you have people around you who could help (but don’t) while you’re already struggling so I completely understand how you are feeling when it comes to feeling lost, confused and not yourself. Something that helps me is to get out of the house for a little bit even if it’s just a walk around the neighborhood. Just know you’ve got this and you’re doing amazing!! And Happy Early Mother’s Day❤️

Keep in mind too that social media is fake and that are lying to get people to interact with their stuff

@Haley someone should do a realistic day in the life of a sahm

When you find them, move the vitamins to where you brush your teeth in the morning and do it then. Rinse the dropper when you're done (or at night when you brush your teeth if the morning goes sideways) & keep the little brush there too in case it gets some gunk in there. Keep it clean and it doesn't need dish soap every day. Instead of folding baby's laundry, try laying the regular items they wear flat in the drawer and leave the once in a while stuff in a bin in the closet. Baby's come with a lot of stuff and take up all your time so it makes sense you're drowning in it. I think the feelings you've described perfectly sum up the new mom experience. I've felt all of those things at some point and often in combination. You're gaining experience as you go. At some point the rate at which they are changing slows down and you sort of catch up. Stay in the moment and focus on doing the next right thing and you'll be just fine. Everything doesn't have to be perfect. In this sleepless season, C+ work is great. 👍

Use these videos for tips but NEVER compare your situation. You will never catch me up at 8am as a routine

@Bella I'm usually up around 5 only cause my son wakes up that early😭 this morning he was up at 4:30 tho

No one is gona look ugly or do anything that isn’t pretty for the world to be entertained in TikTok. My baby is nearly 20 months old and she doesn’t have a routine. You at least can wake up at 8am. My baby slept for few minutes and I was awake for hours. There were times where she didn’t sleep all night nor morning nor afternoon and fell asleep at 5pm for an hour or two. Two hours of sleep were a blessing for me months ago. She is doing well now but she doesn’t stick to routine and travelling and being ill changes baby’s routine and let’s be honest, they are always ill.