SIBLINGS. If you are an only child :As an adult, Do you wish You...

Imma be honest I’ve met so many people that were only child’s that told me I was so lucky. Having siblings is great because you have a support system even when your parents fail you. I love my brothers to def and would never trade them even though in the beginning I wanted to be an only child. It was boring. My brothers came nd I had someone to have fun with that lived with me. Even now going through my first pregnancy they’ve been there every step of the way. I’m one of the blessed ones to have such great brothers.

Wish I had siblings. I feel like I missed out, which is why I want to have two kids

The only children I know loved being an only child. I’ve heard many people say siblings aren’t guaranteed to get along. I know a brother and sister who never got along, their whole childhood. I don’t think it’s that black and white. You can have a happy only child and unhappy siblings.

@Ani siblings that don’t get along are usually because of the parents playing favorites or unknowingly putting one above the other. I’ve seen both sides but it’s more on the happy side than the bad.

@KayLee I feel like it’s 50/50 because my parents told us from a young age that in this world we have nothing but each other we made sure to show up at any cost. But also if you’re an only child sometimes you can’t miss what you never had yk? It’s ultimately up to you as a mom what you want and can handle/do but ik for me I want at least two kids cause ik both sides of the coin fr

I have siblings and none of them reach out. I stopped trying. Nothing exciting about having siblings and I still gave my kids siblings only because I don’t have family, my kids are my only family. I didn’t want to be lonely. My kids are lucky they have each other because I have none. Im going to make sure they always have each other!

@Kimiko yeah that’s true in some cases. Some adults don’t get along, nor do some kids- personality clashes. Just another point of view isn’t it. Only children can be just as happy as a kid with siblings

@Ani I’m not saying they can’t be happy but me personally I’m speaking from my own experience all siblings have issues but like I said my parents made sure we settled them and was always there for each other. My mom and her brother don’t talk cause he used to abuse her so I get it but depending on what you was raised around and how your family is your view is going to be based on that. Both sides can be happy or unhappy but I’m sure if the ones that are unhappy with siblings had a chance to make things right a lot of them would rather than going through life without their family fr

I’m the baby of 5 and I loooove my siblings. I can’t imagine life without them. I’m we have all supported one another through hard times in life and each one in different kind of situations. We are in contact every few days and all support one another. We have had our disagreements but we would never turn on each other. They are pretty much my closest friends.

@Kimiko and I'm sure you are there for them too 💙. That's beautiful.So my friend argued, having close friends beats having siblings .if you have close friends that is .or is blood thicker 💕?

my mom was an only for 15 yrs and turned into the most bubbly extrovert. meanwhile i have a sibling i hadn't really gotten close to until a couple years ago. my grandma is one of 5 and none of her siblings put work in after her mother passed away but her. they all gossip about each other all the time, even at the funeral. my mom has siblings she doesn't even speak to, as do i. they are definitely overrated lol especially when you can have a found family with the people you choose to surround yourself with

@Kimiko ooh that is a good point .

I always hated growing up alone and still struggle making friends. I really want to give my daughter siblings.

@Sugar for me the close friends I had left once I got pregnant and being that my brothers are my bestfriends lol I’d say I came out of it pretty darn lucky lol. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for those boys frfr

@destiny 🪬 in these cases I love saying that it sounds like it’s a generational stronghold that obviously can be broken you just have to do the work. Most of us are on this earth for the first time but we learn everything from watching those around us and we pick up those characteristics whether we like them or not yk?

I think it depends on your family structure too. If you have a lot of cousins to family friends growing up, the absence of siblings might not be as strong

I had two older sibling and I mean OLDER like 14 years apart. So I basically grew up an only child and I wish I had a sibling closer in age to me

I think having a child JUST so you’re first child can have a sibling is a really bad reason to have a child if that’s the main reason.

@Cassie I don’t think that’s the entire reason, OP might want another but a perk that comes with it is her first won’t be alone.

Every only child I know is very happy and well rounded. My son is an only child and I hope he is the same. At least he won’t need to worry about sharing his inheritance lol or fighting with his siblings about what care home I go into when I’m older … as I’m seeing a lot from with my older friends x

@Monét it def does both in house and outside of the house. I have a huge family but we’ve all went separate ways after my nana passed so for me it was back to me and my brothers

@Kimiko I didn’t say that was OP’s reason. Just stating an opinion. That’s a big reason why a lot of people do

@Kimiko it ABSOLUTELY is a generational thing but everyone is an adult now so nobody is trying to work on the family dynamic :/ everybody would need years of therapy LOL plus the stress of life gets in the way of self improvement most times, it's not prioritized when bills gotta be paid unfortunately. i don't put much faith in people changing past 35 honestly

@destiny 🪬 most people aren’t gonna make the effort because they’re stuck in their ways and the trauma they experienced will always seem bigger than anyone else’s to them. As adults you’d expect them to see like hey this isn’t right yk? But sadly it doesn’t click for everyone which is why we have chosen families yk?

I think sometimes people think the grass is greener and it's a bit ungrateful to project what you think the right family is on to your parents. That includes me wishing my sibling hadn't come along when I was a child! To still have that attitude as a grown up knowing more about life and families and how difficult being a parent can be is pretty immature in my opinion. My parents both have short tempers, and I believe if they hadn't had another one they would have been better parents because neither of them coped well and were aggressive but it was their choice. I don't want to have another because I believe I can be a better mum with all of my focus on our daughter. We probably couldn't have another either, we piled up credit card debt to have our daughter via IVF and it was physically and emotionally devastating. Hopefully I can raise my daughter to appreciate the life she's had and understand the choices I've made rather than bitch about some imaginary siblings she may or may not have hated anyway 😂😂

@Rachel Completely agree!! A mentally well parent is so much better than having a sibling. And I have a sibling I love very much.

I might as well be an only child now I’m in my 30s. Got two younger half sisters, one I do get along with but hardly see and she isn’t the best at communicating unless it’s in person. The other is 20, away at uni, and doesn’t really speak to any of us much. Definitely some lingering resentment on both our parts - I resent that at she came along when I was 13 and I suddenly became a caregiver for her (school holidays, evenings, weekends etc) and she resents that when I was 18 and she was 5, I upped and (in her mind) disappeared to uni and never came back. Also have two much younger half brothers that lived with my dad, and I see maybe 2-3 times a year. It’s nice to see them but I don’t feel we have strong sibling bond, and as the oldest of all 5 anything later in life will fall to me anyway 🤷‍♀️ My daughter is my one and only, I want her to have the childhood I didn’t have.

I was an only child for 9 years! My sister wishes she had had another sibling closer to her age because I moved out when she was so young

i will forever wish i had siblings.

As an adult, as an only child, I feel like in terms of my day to day life I’m happy not having siblings. I wished I’d had them when I was little but I got over that. The one factor that I lament is that I’m the only one who can take care of my parents as they age. But! Seeing my mom fight about my grandmother’s care with her siblings? Kind of makes me feel like I’m on the winner’s side there.

I am an only child, as a child I didn’t think much of it but now as an adult I do wish I had a close sibling

I wanted siblings growing up, but looking back I wouldn’t have had half of the opportunities (school trips, extra curricular activities, quality time with grandparents/parents etc) if I had to share it all. No one I’ve met as an adult has said I show only child tendencies and all assume I have siblings, so I suppose it didn’t impact me negatively in that sense. I would love to give my daughter a sibling one day, but it would involve moving back to my hometown as I’m not raising 2 children by myself without support from family!

I’m one of four. Growing up there was a lot of like hating each other for a couple hours and then completely forgetting abt it and being best friends for a few hours lol it’s weird. I think I would’ve gone insane without them cuz I had very little social interaction outside of them. We are still close.

Having siblings is amazing. Especially sisters. Yes it’s hectic and can be messy, but with growth and maturity it can be beautiful!

I’m eldest of 6, so 5 younger siblings, I was never a child that wished for siblings but got 5 from mum and possibly 4 from dad those I’ve never met. I grew up to be their caregiver from about 7yrs up until I moved out at 28 for the final time. As of today my youngest sibling is 8yr, I definitely resented them cos I didn’t get to have my childhood nor our mum being stable emotionally and I think mentally, raised by single parent all of us. I didn’t get to do school trips, holidays away the typical stuff that create childhood memories. I spent all my free time minding younger siblings and chores. There wasn’t enough of mum to go around for each of us to feel loved, cared for a valued. Even tho I know it was not my duty I still feel bad I may not have cared for my siblings enough; because I was a child myself. Becoming an adult I felt living my life was selfish because I had less time for them. Now I try to make up for it and help give them some nice childhood memories with youngest 3

No expecting my 1st child if we do have a 2nd that will be it. I want to be able to give each of them the childhood they each deserve and that means parents that have the time and put in the effort all the way

@Kimiko as someone who has siblings (5) who neither of us are close and some even we dislike each other there was no favorites or putting one above the other it was all personality and different paths. My closest brother is a recovered drug addict and even though we now love each other we use to hate each other and he even tried to kill me. One is in the army and is a recluse but I still text him every now and then to say I love you. The rest hate my dad so they hate me as I am the devil spawn of him. One moved to LA and is very political. One barely leaves her own house. One became a hateful person. No favorites from parents just different paths and personality and opinions lol. I would’ve been okay as an only child less drama 😭

My sister and I are 22months apart. We were best friends growing up. Middle school we both had our own friend group. But now in our 20s we are really good friends again. I come from a very large family and wish sometimes I had more siblings. I have two boys of my own now and I couldn’t bear the thought of my husband and I passing away eventually and my first son not having anyone besides cousins. We always wanted more than one to begin with, but that played into my thought process. Grim I know.

@Lara i actually see this a lot , when there are many children you would think it's easier to take care of the parents at old age, only for it to be more complicated and dramatic.when it’s one , it is hard but you know what to expect and rely only on yourself

@Tackaynia girl I'm sorry and I feel you on a deeper level but on my case , my mom died too young and I had to pick it up 💕.

I always wished I had siblings & do so even more now as an adult :/ why I’m so determined to give my son a sibling.

@Lucy yeah , resources have to be stretched thin if you are not very wealthy .But makes me wonder , how did you learn sharing with others , I'm assuming when you are an only child , you just don't need to at home

@Sugar it's interesting, this used to be what everyone would say about only children, that they wouldn't learn how to share!! But it's quite an old school view, it's up to the parents to teach children to share, maybe that's easier if there's a sibling for sharing with but as long as the parents are teaching it the child will learn. My 2 year old knows the word share, we see plenty of other children and sharing doesn't have to be with another child, she shares her toys with me all the time 😂 my nephew absolutely hates to share because he's been forced to share with his little brother all the time, he's very possessive over his things and he's long past being a toddler now 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Rachel okay that's telling 🤔.

@Cassie what makes it so bad ?

So lonely, none of my aunts or uncles had kids either. I’m the last one in my family and wish I had extended family. Sucks.

@Sugar I went to a family friend who was a childminder with 3 children similar to my age from 5 months old onwards, so I guess I learned to play nicely with them? My parents were very hot on making sure I had good manners so I suppose that lends itself to not snatching/sharing nicely too? Good question though!

I had two older siblings big age gap, so when they left home when I was young I remember thinking whether they were still my siblings after that I hardly saw them much, nowadays I hardly see them both regularly so to be honest it was like growing up as an only kid despite having siblings. But now I just respect them as my siblings and also wish I had another sibling closer to my age like a sister to talk with, so sometimes i just wondered what could be.

I love my sister, but I don’t think siblings are necessary at all. Both siblings and no siblings have advantages and disadvantages. Also having more than one kid is hard, I know how hard it’s been for my mom to deal with both of us at times, and lovingly I can say she didn’t always do the right thing, but she did her best with whatever knowledge and patience she had. You should do what is best for you personally, because ultimately it’s whether you can give more than one child the amount of care and attention children need. Your kid or kids are more likely to grow up well rounded adult/adults if their parent is happy and satisfied. Never feel obligated to “give your child a sibling” (I hate this phrase on so many levels)

I fall into the “I wish I didn’t have siblings” category because both of mine suck. They both found their ways of abusing me & manipulating me most of my life. I wish I had been an only child.