Am I being dramatic?

Long story short. My daughters dad wasn’t in her life until January this year, she turned 2 in December. I didn’t want him around, so he wasn’t. I did the pregnancy, birth and raising my child alone due to my own choice. We decided he’d be in her life in January and I fell pregnant in February(please don’t judge im here for advice) he got a job to support us as a family, and he’s been great. That’s when he’s here anyway. There’s been a couple times he’s went out for a drink with his dad and his dads friends and ended up calling in sick because he was hungover. It’s not even just that, he’s not here as much as he should be he seems to be enjoying a free life. It’s starting to annoy me now, we argued yesterday but sorted things out, I told him today he’s not living the single life anymore and has priorities. Not just our 2 year old but our unborn child too. He said I need to stop belittling him and I’m going on as if he doesn’t know he has a child. That’s not my intention I’m not belittling him I’m trying to explain it’s not fair that he’s living his life free handed while I’m at home with our toddler and wiped out with sickness. I can’t do it all by myself he has priorities and it’s his job to help me out. He’s just so arrogant and can never see his faults always thinks I’m tryna argue when I cba to argue I’ve got better things to be doing. I just can’t seem to get it into his head. He’s living with no worries and can do as he pleases while I’m at home pregnant and with our daughter I personally don’t think it’s fair and I have no idea what to do about it. I’ve tried explaining it to him but he’s too ignorant to understand how I’m feeling. It’s starting to piss me off now. Any advice would be appreciated im at my wits end. I’ve never met someone so childish.

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I would agree if he wants to be with you and be a family, he needs to get like a family man. If he wants to act single he needs to leave and go be single. " Having your cake and trying to eat it too" leaves you with nothing in the end so he needs to make a choice. A family man or a single man. If you're sick he needs to be there for you and help with his child. He has already missed things and will continue to do so until he acts more responsible and handles home first. However on one of your good days and not all the time I think it would be good for him to take a night off and you a day off without being sick to selfcare you too. Sick days are not vacation days for us women. Lol Hopefully this didn't come off offensive.

@TkayIt didn’t come off as offensive at all. Thankyou for replying. I’ve gave him the opportunity plenty of times to go off and be single as long as he still made the effort with our daughter but even if he didn’t he missed out on so much already it’s just frustrating

No problem. No judgement here. I've been with my husband for 8 years and 5 of marriage this September. Ive had my fair share of more of bs. Lol Feel free to message me if you want. If he starts being more responsible the only thing you can do is move forward and let go of what happened in the past or there can't really be a better future for y'all. All he can do is try to change for the better but it will only happen if he wants a real relationship and/ or family had enough. 🫂🙏🏼❤️

You're right, he needs to sort his priorities out. And right now you and your child should be his first priority. Even though you may have rushed into sleeping with him before getting to know what it will be like living with him and how he will be with your 2 year old. Your reality now is will you put up with this for the next month? Is this what you want in a relationship? Anyways hope things get better and you live a good happy family life. Hope he learns his mistakes about getting drunk and missing work. To stop that from being a regular occurrence.

You say when he’s there, he’s great. He got a job, etc. If he’s trying, I would say continue to practice grace and patience with him. Being a “family man” may just be something he isn’t used to yet because he hadn’t had to be the last 2 years. You technically allowed him to have a free life, so you can’t be impatient when he’s not moving to the beat of your drum when you want him to now. It’s easier to fall into old habits/rituals versus doing a complete 180 in a matter of months. You’ve been doing this a lot longer so it may seem simple for someone to just “snap” into it but it may just be an adjustment period for him. Maybe you two can have a talk & agree on family time together and “personal time”. That way you both get a little time to spend with friends/other family and it not just you with the kids all the time.

@Jasmine I am doing my best to be patient, trust me. I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt because I’m fully aware he’s not been around and that was due to him wanting the single life, he wanted to drink and do cocaine with his friends and I didn’t want that lifestyle around my child. So technically I haven’t allowed him to have a free life. I can’t force someone to grow up. I didn’t allow him in my child’s life for the sake of him sniffing cocaine whenever he got the chance. If you feel like that was me allowing him to have a free life that’s totally your opinion and I won’t judge you for that because your only hearing bits of the story if you get me? I personally think it should be easy to just “snap“ into it because he’s aware he has a kid and another on the way. You can’t want to be a parent when ever it suits you unfortunately that’s not how it works. The problem is, I have tried on many occasions to have a civil mature conversation with him in regards to how we can

in regards to how we can figure this whole thing out together weather that’s as a couple or just co parenting. But he physically can’t see my point because he refuses to listen he will not hold himself accountable to the things he is doing. He will not hear me out without accusing me of starting an argument which I’m not.

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