Mentally drained

Funny how things work, and how they don’t. My last period was April 12th. We were NOT trying this month. I was going through health issues with my back. I usually ovulate right on target which would have put me at April 26th. I had to of ovulated later CD17, and it’s insane to me how it happened. I went in for emergency surgery. Had blood taken Sunday (the 4th) for pregnancy, it was negative. Surgery Monday. Wednesday something told me to test. I got a positive stick test but didn’t believe it. I thought maybe it was from surgery or the meds. I tested again yesterday And I got a positive on a digital!! I can’t explain what told me, but I did. The doctor said this is unheard of. Could the blood test of been wrong? So now I am recovering from spine surgery, feeling crampy and having to urinate every 10 minutes. I don’t know what’s pregnancy symptoms and what is post op symptoms. I was not told to stop my pain medication but I’m scared to death something will be wrong with baby if I don’t, therefore I’m in terrible pain. Withdrawling from pain and nerve medicine from abruptly stopping. I’m a complete mess. My hormones are all over the place. I can’t bend lift or twist. My fiancé had to go back to work, my kids are at their dad’s. I’m just sitting here in my own head and I’m in complete shock. I wanted this, but I feel guilty for not wanting this at this moment. I’m scared about the fact my back is fixed and I’m going to go through labor. I’m petrified to be honest. I’m scared about my healing. We tried for a year. And it’s almost like God said, “ur back is fixed now here you go.” I’m blown away. I’m sorry for the long vent. I have no one to talk to. My fiancé is not taking this news well because, well, … terrible timing. I don’t have an obgyn to call because they were closed yesterday so I have been and will have to sit with this all weekend. Any advice or kind words welcomed.