Would this annoy you?

I don’t have any issues with my husband inviting people even on “family days.” Once you are a parent it can be really isolating and difficult to still socialize or even to find people willing to come be around your family. Most people without kids want to socialize at a bar or other places you can’t bring kids… so his friend coming along to get to meet the family could be a very positive thing The communication could be better between you too. If you are concerned that he’s spending a lot of time with friends and not with family, there is probably some sort of tension or unresolved need there. Instead of punishing him, seek a solution. If you are frustrated that you aren’t getting the same, communicate that you would like some time out with friends etc… But trying to be “right” in this situation is only going to drive tensions higher Instead look beyond the surface issue of the friend coming along and instead look into what is the unspoken need going on with each of you

Most of these issues are actually communication issues. But because people don’t know how to communicate effectively… it leads to competition, resentment, envy, etc…. Instead of both partners looking at each spouse as a person who has different feelings and needs and how are you guys going to partner together to satisfy those things or make fair compromises… But again… if the goal is “I’m right and they are wrong… “ then this problem will only get worse.

It sounds like he’s invited his mate along so the two of them can get drunk and sit out catching a tan whilst all the childcare falls on your shoulders. Doesn’t sound like much fun for you! Also if he’s been out a lot the past week, PLUS on his day off he’s been out seeing friends and now all tomorrow he wants to invite his best mate to the beach, where do you and your child factor into his life? Because that sounds like a single guy to me, certainly not a family man! Not to mention where are your days off? I’ll hazard a guess he doesn’t let you swan off with your mates for days on end?

@Neena all solid points!!

So…. You could be angry and stay angry and follow the assumptions of the above commentators But if you value your marriage and actually want to have reconciliation and find a solution to the issues… you two have to talk in a way that seeks each others best interests and not just seeking justification to be right. That won’t get him to change and that won’t get your marriage to a place where you guys are working together You have to let your anger go first…. And talk to your husband like you are both on the same side of the battlefield. And absolutely it’s okay to make it known what your needs are and what’s been bothering you… but it has to come from a place of trust and vulnerability… not anger and resentment or you won’t be heard

This would most definitely annoy me. Your feelings are valid!

Yes, I’d be really annoyed, upset and disappointed. And even more so if he is turning it back round on you.

@Lyss It’s up to the OP how she wishes to see her marriage go. But stirring in a pot of anger and resentment and listening to advice from people who are quick to tear down someone they have never met and only have half the story… has never solved any marriage issues… only driven a wedge further between a couple.

@Lyss None of the advice I gave implies that the OP wouldn’t know her worth or that she would be ignoring it.

@Janis she did communicate. She said she wanted a family day at the beach. She told him she didn’t want other people there, and he got shitty.

Oh hell no, family time is strictly family time, not time for him and his buddy. If I were you, I wouldn't even go cause that's messed up. It's mother's day, the very least he could do is spend time with you and your baby and that's enough, he doesn't need a friend for that. My husband doesn't go anywhere with friends during the work week and if something does come up, he always calls and asks me first if it's okay. He knows family time is valuable, and after work I expect him home as soon as he's done, as I do the same. I believe there needs to be a healthy set of boundaries when it comes to hanging with friends, it should never be more than your own family.

Feelings are certainly valid if he’s already spent his free time with his friends. I think the fact you asked for a family day and then he’s adding a tag along would annoy me also. I think like others have said it can easily lead to a day of you caring for your toddler and your husband and his mate doing their thing. Maybe just have a peaceful word (although his reaction does make me wonder if he’d get defensive) and say next time could it be the 3 of you as it would be nice quality time. I’d also wonder why he is spending all his free time with his friends anyway and not thinking about the fact you then have all childcare responsibilities fall onto you, that’s not very fair and it should be they you get some time (if you want it) with your friends also. Sorry this has happened and your husband cannot see why you feel angry in this situation.

I’m petty so I’d cancel it and do something else with my kids 😂

He's bored when solely in your company, that's the reason why he invited his mate along I'm afraid. If all you ever talk about is your child or homelife, then I understand why tbh. If u like his friend then is it such a terrible idea anyway?

@Rebecca so many assumptions?!

@Rebecca uh genuinely, wtf?