Please help MIL at it again

Hey guys, so last week I gave birth to my 2nd son, what was meant to be a beautiful, exciting and amazing time turned into crap due to my MIL… My partner wasn’t able to make the birth due to our first son not being well and having 3 step daughters aswell so he stayed home with the kids. His mother went out of her way starting issues. She’s always had an issue with me as I stood up for myself after taking her rude, nasty comments about not just myself but my family aswell. There was a big argument as I told her that me and my family was none of her concern and she had no right to bring my mother and family into something just to be pure nasty. She ended up telling me I didn’t deserve my kids and the best thing my partner could do for him and the kids is to leave and have the police remove me from my home.. she was never a fan of the fact we now have 2 boys together. She told my partner that he should make me get rid of the baby after we found out. She never showed any support and all spoken bad and nasty of me any chance she’s gets. She’s recently blaming me for my step daughters behaviour (she’s autistic) honestly she hasn’t chanced much since I moved in a few years ago. Shes now demanding she comes over to meet my newborn which isn’t the issue, the issue is her wanting me to leave my new born and my home while she is over. Saying she’ll be disgusted if I’m in the same room as her and that if I do anything wrong(which apparently me breathing is) she’ll lose it. I’m not leaving my newborn or my home.i breast feed and also I don’t believe it’s fair to be made to leave your newborn unless you have no choice. I’m feel so anxious and stressed and sick about her coming over tomorrow. Knowing that if I ask for my son back for feeding she’ll refuse. She did it with my first.. I just don’t know what to do.. I just wanna curl up and cry

Show your support

Nope. Fuck that. I don’t care how people pleaser I am. Refuse that, until she can be an adult, and control herself appropriately. She will not be meeting said newborn. If that’s a forever issue, that’s her choice. And since we’re crossing that line already, I’d inquire what she’s witnessed and decided make you and your family so terrible for her son.

@Alexis I keep getting told I have my partners support but he’ll then go back and say “well she is my mum” “You can’t stop her from meeting him” “I need my mum in my life and I need you to respect the fact I want her in the kids life” I just want respect, my step daughter happily comes home and tell me how much her grandmother hates me and all she says while I’m not around.. I honestly just don’t want tomorrow to come. I feel sick with just the idea of having her around and knowing that I will be uncomfortable within my own home is awful

My response to she’s my mum would be and I’m the mother of your children, do I matter less for some reason? Do you need your mom in your life more than I need to feel comfortable in my own home? And technically unless he’s planning on taking the newborn himself, you can in fact stop anyone from meeting them

You need to get a backbone before deciding to invite her. 💛 This is your baby, not hers. She has no rights to your baby. So what that she's a grandmother. She has no rights. You do have the right to refuse her. She's refusing you, even tho it's your baby. Your partner says she is my mom. Well, he and mommy can hang out. You are your babys mother. You have the most rights to say yes or no.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and your partner isn’t on your side. I would’ve kicked her out and never let her near me or my children again but since your husband doesn’t let that happen, I’d keep your newborn and not let her touch them. She can “meet” the newborn from a distance

She feels entitled over a baby that she wanted to abort, that’s actually wild 😶. She sounds like a huge red flag and I wouldn’t want my kids anywhere near her! Unfortunately you might have a hard time convincing your partner that she’s a dick if that’s the only behaviour he’s ever known…

This is an absolutely INSANE request from MIL. I don’t know what reasoning she has to dislike you, so hypothetically, even if she does have good reasoning; that is STILL bizarre and just wrong in so many ways. If she’s saying she wants to see the baby, then we can assume she cares about the baby as well, or at least thinks she does. But that request doesn’t respect your babies best interests either! Not only would this put you in an uncomfortable situation, your baby doesn’t want to be separated from you like that this soon either and she should at the VERY LEAST respect that. I can imagine it may be hard for your husband and that he would still want his mom to be apart of the kids life, but he needs to set some ground rules with her for sure, if she wants to be apart of your children’s lives, then at the very least she needs to be civil around you. Not necessarily fake friendliness but no rude remarks or insane requests or even just bad looks or anything to make you uncomfortable.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even let her meet your new baby yet; not until she is willing to see you as well and be kind and not put you in an uncomfortable situation, or wait until you are comfortable with leaving the baby with just your husband during her visit no matter how long that may be. Protect your and your babies peace ❤️

Shes his mom. You're his wife. You're the mother of his children. And those are your children. She is not entitled to them. She would not be allowed over while I was there. Period. She would not be meeting our newest child or even seeing my oldest child until she has apologized for her behavior and we've sat down to talk about how we can even move forward. He can have his mom in his life. He can go over there. But to be okay with you leaving YOUR home and YOUR children so someone who hates you can come into what is supposed to be your safe space...and be with your children...is fucking crazy and a hell the fuck no.

@C I can not say it better.

Absolutely not! I’d be saying no contact whatsoever!