Fight w husband

My husband just made plans without asking me what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day dinner and said yes to a dinner invitation over at my mil house for tomorrow. I’m on my period and don’t feel like going anywhere.. I want to have a relaxing day at home. He’s saying that I’m making him choose between him and his mother, which isn’t the case. I told him he can go visit her at any point tomorrow I don’t mind, I personally just didn’t want to go over there tomorrow because I’m just cramping and feeling gross as well as my 6 year old son has a fever etc. My husband said “ok, I’ll just tell my mom to return the gift she got you” lol, I could care less about any gifts….

Do I have a right to be so annoyed at this? Why can’t he just ask his wife what she wants to do for Mother’s Day instead of worrying so much if he will upset his mother.. it’s not like I’m saying to not go see her at all??
I personally didn’t want my day to be socializing..

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Wife before your mother. Period. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No you are not wrong. He should be understanding that you don’t want to be bothered with others. He’s acting like a mama’s boy and scared to disappoint her.

You have the right to do what you want to do tomorrow too. His mother isn’t the only mom in the picture anymore. You don’t say if your 6 YO is his, but either way, whether he’s a father or not, he’s with you, and you are a mother. I think that’s very fair that if he wants to go see his mother at some point, he’s more than welcome to, but he cannot expect that one of the VERY FEW days a year that moms get to chill and have it be about us (which, let’s be real, it’s STILL never REALLY all about us), that you would want to go hang out with your in laws.
Side note; MAJOR manipulation 🚩 with that tell her to bring back that gift garbage. If you only got you a gift because it meant that you would feel guilted into going there, not a gift that you really want! And him trying to guilt you with that crap, is straight up F’ed up. Period.

Exactly, but he doesn’t get it.

Also side question, does anyone give their mil gifts on Mother’s Day???
I’m in the trenches w 3 kids under 6, my brain hurts from thinking “what to get her”

Honestly, considering you're not wanting to do anything and he is. Let him just take your son to dinner at his mom's. And you enjoy a nice quiet evening to yourself.

Once you’re married your wife comes before your mother. I’m lucky to have a lovely MIL that I’d quite happily spend Mother’s Day with, but I would expect my husband to refer to what I want that day not his mother, and I’m lucky that she thinks the same and questions if we’re sure we want to spend it with her!

Honestly, I agree you're mostly in the right here, but let me ask this. Do you otherwise have any really good relationship with your MIL? I would think that if you had a good relationship with her that a simple video/voice call to tell her happy Mother's Day and a quick explanation as to why you don't feel like going out would make her understand and say "It's ok dear. I understand. You rest today and come visit with the kids when you feel better." But if you have a poor relationship with her I can understand.

We honor my mom and my spouses mom with gifts but i was raised that the celebration of mothers days is for the moms who are in the trenches. Grandparents day is the weekend after labor day :)

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