Am I wrong?

My ex husband (divorce because he continued to cheat on me) and I separated in 2017, upon our separation I asked him to tell me how much he wants to pay towards our daughter and when he wants to see/have her. He chose to pay £400 a month and have her every other weekend. 2 years later someone crushed into my car so I had to buy a new one, I borrowed money and worked 60+ hours a week to pay it off (wasn’t finance) but then he got jealous and sent me a stroppy email saying from now on he is only paying me £200 a month because he isn’t pay for me to drive a new car! I said I didn’t agree with his choice but I have no other option but to take his offer. However since then things have got much worse. Today he sent me another email, telling me he can’t continue like this anymore he has quit his job in November 2023 and has been unemployed and on benefits since then but he continued to pay for our kid. He is in a lot of debt, he has £18 left to last him until end of the month he keeps borrowing money from his parents and he has been very depressed and on antidepressants. He has had very dark thoughts lately and only our child keeps him alive. I then spoke to my daughter and she said they mainly eat noodles and egg salad when she is there. That he sleeps a lot when she is there and she is often left to entertain herself on her own with their dog. Oh yeah he got a dog almost 2 years ago! Which he mentioned to my daughter he will give away because he can’t cope as the dog keeps pulling on the lead… where today I found out it’s because he can’t afford it! I’m so angry, nothing to do with the financial lack of responsibility. But because he let himself go like this. We were together for 10 years, I loved him More than life itself but he continue to cheat on me. The other thing is he is diabetic and he continues to abuse his diabetes with fizzy drinks and junk. 😫😫😫 I don’t know what to do…

Show your support

Girl you have to let him Do whatever he’s going to do , it’s jot your responsibility to take care of him even if you still love him , he’s a grown man who’s made grown man decisions and now he’s dealing with the consequences , you can’t really take him to court for child support since he doesn’t have a job so you’ll have to make do without his financial contributions Be careful with your daughter around him if all he does is sleep around her , that’s not a safe situation for her without adult supervision and only a dog to keep her company

I’m not bothered about the lack of financial support, as disappointing as it is it’s just what it is. I’ll continue to provide for her and not let her go without. I just don’t understand what does he expect me do with this information? There is no love on my part. I’m in a loving relationship, expecting my second child. He recently found out and sent his congratulations. A month later - a suicidal email! 😩 maybe I’m in the wrong but I do feel like he wants me to feel sorry for him.

He most definitely does , block him or ignore any message he sends beyond something asking about your daughter

if he’s sending emails threatening to hurt himself, i’d save them in case he does anything that you’re concerned may hurt your child.

I work within the health sector and if someone is having dark thoughts, forget Suicidal! We would report this to social service. As they see this as not be fit to take care of a child. This can be argued by himself but not sure where it leads to but we still need to do are part and report it.

My daughter will really suffer if I stop her from seeing him. Maybe allow him to take her to the park with a packed lunch? She is 10

I wouldn’t do unsupervised visits , even in a park he can leave her off on her own or not be paying attention to her or their surroundings and put her in danger since she is only 10

Y’all can go to the park together , or he can come to your house maybe , whatever you and your other half are comfortable with

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