Husband is going to wedding abroad couple weeks after c section

Gosh, I don’t know why people can’t understand that as much as you may love your MIL, you don’t want them there when you’ve had SURGERY and are bleeding/ recovering and walking round half dressed. It’s not selfish in the slightest. I have no real advice as I assume you’ve had this conversation with him but I’m so sorry he’s not being supportive. It’s absolutely awful in my opinion and shows he just doesn’t understand what is about to happen and what a mum goes through. Also absolutely bizzare of his mum to tell him to go? She’s had kids herself? How strange? End of the day you deserve someone who is just going to give you that support without having to explain to them like a child. Sorry you are having to deal with this. Is there anyone you can both talk to that might explain this to him that he would listen to? Midwife maybe? Sending loads of love xx

This is a vulnerable and anxious time for you. Your partner should be by your side every step of the way without question. If you’ve expressed your feelings and concerns around this he should respect them and 100% be by your side to support you throughout pregnancy / c section and the recovery. He can’t do this if he’s in another country. You’re not the selfish one, he is! Sorry your experiencing this, hope he comes to his senses x

Is this your first baby and c section? Everyone recovers differently but I personally wouldn’t want my partner away that close after having major surgery. You’re 100% not being selfish, he is for wanting to leave you in such a vulnerable state with a newborn.

@Jenny yes first :/

Wtf. Why is everyone being so inconsiderate towards you, this is horrible. No advice but I don’t think your Husband should have even agreed to that. And it was a dick move to make the wedding literally around your surgery date.

I remember you posting this previously. How long is he away for the wedding?

I wouldn’t have been able to look after a newborn by myself at 2 weeks post C-section. Honestly I’d be saying to your husband who’s more important his best mate or his baby?

Guess he has his priorities in order. What a dick. Hope you have an amazing recovery so you don’t need him. I hope you can repay him the same some day. Maybe then he’ll understand.

Maybe slightly different- I had twins via c section and my husband sacked off 2 stags and 2 weddings in the 12 weeks after I had my babies. He didn’t even tell me he’d been invited to the stags, he just immediately declined. Not to sound dramatic, but I would absolutely lose my shit if my husband abandoned me with a newborn to go to a wedding (no matter whose wedding it was). I’m hoping he sees that he’s being out of order, you definitely need to feel he’ll be there for you and look after you xx

He shouldn’t go.

You and your baby should be his first priority. Especially when you just had a c-section having your baby. Sending you lots of love and a speedy recovery 💕

I can understand that it's important to him to be at the wedding, but I also wouldn't feel comfortable being alone with a newborn so soon after major surgery. Does he have a contingency plan in case you really can't look after baby by yourself? Or perhaps your parents could change the dates of their visit so they're with you whilst your partner is away?

I don't know what to say. 2 weeks after section you will need help for sure. I could barely pick up my son and do night feeds. My husband had to do that. I couldn't even sit on toilet without a struggle. It is so unbelievably hard and being your first you need all the support. Not fair at all. I would be so upset. Totally understand you don't want your MIL. I would feel the same. I think he needs to check his priorities. You are more important. And you need his help.

Everyone is different but I wouldn’t worry too much about recovery. I was able to shower myself day 1 and was doing basics around the house like laundry the same week I got home. I don’t have any family in the country either but it’s totally doable, especially with an elective section recover. I’ve had two and neither had me laid up in bed struggling. So if you are really getting worried about being unable to get around, you will be amazed at yourself. The first time alone with baby is worrying but you’ll get into your rhythm so fast. It’s definitely something my husband would sack off due to being overseas but if it was a local wedding I wouldn’t stop him. Has he expressed no concerns whatsoever about leaving you alone so soon after birth? My husband had to go back to work on day 5 pp and he was texting constantly, feeling like he wasn’t there for me and missing baby. Maybe he’ll change his mind after the birth, FOMO with baby.

@Sarah I think he just confused tbh. The ironic thing is that I have barely any mat leave and need to be back at work the day he comes back, so having 0 sleep instead of 4-5 hours of sleep could be an issue too. Luckily I work from home but it will be very difficult alone with newborn that day. My husband has 3 months paternity on the other hand…

@Katie unfortunately my parents cannot do that weekend, my parents life is not easy they care for their parents and need to find cover. They also live abroad

@Alex your husband is amazing! Very considerate

@Emily few days but also clashes with my return to work. Have barely any mat leave 🥹 while he gets more time off so I was really counting on his help