I'm grateful but I feel ungrateful

my kids dad got me so mad right now told me that I can't always protect my kids even when they're adults.
This conversation was brought up because I told him that I don't feel comfortable going to church because I feel sad when I hear church songs, then I said to my kids dad should I force myself go to church just for my kids? Because my 6 yr old daughter told me she wants me to go with her to church.
Then my kids dad told me what if our kids are adults? Then what if they want to go to a church and a event by their self, I told him we have to talk to our kids be careful going to church and to events, tell them about don't go in no strangers vehicles, then he said to me we can't always be there with our kids that's stalking them,then I said we should track their location make sure being back home safe. This world is scary and fear from all the rapists, killers, murders, traffickers and kidnappers, any ideas what other ways to talk to my kids and when your kids turn to adults to be safe and careful when they go out by their self? I lost a lot of love ones, I'm so worried about my kids growing up in this world by themselves without me then get a call or seeing on the news about my kids got hurt or something worse that I wasn't there for my kids because I let them go out by their self, I don't want never in my life seeing my kids gone before me, I keep telling myself if my kids are gone before me I will lose myself.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Does she have a friend that goes to church? You can drop her off with a friend and their parent and pick her up at the end. Or they can save you a seat and you can come in 20 minutes into the service after the singing part is over. Her dad could take her to church. Or, she could start by just going to youth group and do full service in a year or two when you've had more time to adjust to her going places like school, her dad's house, classes, activities, etc. Or you can put on a church program on tv, or livesteam from your preferred church.

You can't protect your kids from everything, but you can keep them reasonably safe situations until they are able to better judge danger for themselves and avoid trouble.

Avatar

yes my 6 yr old daughter has 2 friends that go to her church.
Thank you for your listening and ideas, I'm just worried about when my kids get older when they go out to places by themselves, I just want to know how to not worry too much about it later on

Avatar

You'll always worry about your baby. But remember, there were times you worried a lot, daily, about her falling off of playground equipment or choking on her food but now you don't really. Parenting comes in stages and some things you just can't think about too far ahead of time because your feelings and experience need time to catch up. There will be plenty of opportunities between then and now for her to show you she's ready (or not ready) for new responsibilities. Focus on teaching her values, right from wrong, thinking ahead, and how to stay safe. Practice new scenarios with her beforehand and model behavior you'd like to see. Talk out your thought process when you're making decisions. The things you say now will become her inner voice. Parenting is a slow letting go so she can fly, if you hold her back she'll never reach her potential. You don't have to do it all at once or take it all on faith. This is a great opportunity to let her show you whether she's ready for a little independence. Baby steps...πŸ‘£

Avatar

thank you so much for all your reassurance words, got my head clear to slow down my worries down

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

Avatar

3

24

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

β€’ I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
β€’ My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Avatar

14

Blw

Hi I am running out off ideas on what to make for Lil 14 month old for breakfast lunch and dinner if anyone have any resipes would be great to try my boy with them

Avatar

4

Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me β€œI shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

Avatar

1

10

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Avatar

10

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avatar

6

Read more on Peanut