I'm in TEARS from the in-laws

We are currently on holiday with the in-laws and they have confronted my husband and I tonight to say we are starving our child 😭
Apparently she cries because she's hungry for 3 meals a day and not milk.
Whilst on holiday we do a whole mashed banana and then a slice of toast with a bottle.
For lunch she has another bottle and then bits of whatever we have.
For tea she has a couple of bottles and some finger food.
They say that isn't enough and that we are starving our child, I am BESIDE myself 😭
I've come to bed early and my husband is currently fighting our corner in the living room but it's really got to me.
Are we starving our child?

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It sounds like you are doing an amazing job. A lot of babies are between 2 and 3 meals a day. I would say as though as you are following your babies lead which it sounds like you are. That's exactly what they need.

@Isabella we are in Portugal and she's had: cod, mackerel, mash, olives, carrots, chicken, seabass, rice and tomatoes.... But only little bits x

Milk is more important to them at this age. Food is less important until they are one. Some babies just don't eat as much food and then you get dustbin babies (Like my youngest) that really enjoys food.

That sound like amazing variety. I honestly thing before 1 the most important things are lots of variety and textures. Which it sounds like your doing a wonderful job of. Also just remember you know your baby best regardless of what opinions other people have around you x

@Samantha I came to bed in tears and left my husband with them to fight our corner and they have said they are concerned with our daughter's wellbeing since she is starving x I'm just so shocked and hurt

@Isabella I've said that food is fun until they're one and they laughed in my face. X

Well it's not really up to them. they did their parenting and things have changed now. Mum used to put rice in my bottle to thicken milk so I would sleep more.

At one point when I was a baby I had cmpa and I was in failure to thrive. I was sleepy and floppy. My parents finally got a cmpa diagnosis.

Unless your baby is also sleepy and floppy then there is no issue. If your baby is gaining weight hitting milestone then they really need to back off. I would say let your partner deal with it though as it's his parents and well things can get tense. But just trust your gut.

My boy would easily eat me out of house and home. but my oldest boy was much more of a picker before aged one.

Whilst the saying about food before one being just for fun isn’t true or accurate, you know your baby better than anyone else. At this age you should be offering a variety of foods and allowing your baby to choose what and how much they want to eat. As long as you’re not cutting them off before they are finished eating, you are doing everything you should be doing. I’d tell them that any further commentary on the topic is off the table and hold your boundary. I’d also try to remember that they are likely coming from a place of care and worry, even if they have an awful way of showing it.

You know your baby better than anyone and all we hear these days is that milk is their main source before 1. I think that sounds more than enough at the moment and it’s normal to have days when our babies eat it all and other days where they don’t touch any of it. I think a lot of parents find the struggle from 2 meals to 3 meals a day so hard. So it’s impressive that you are on the 3 meals a day whilst on holiday too 🥰 I think parenting is so hard these days with everyone’s awful opinions. I just think if they’ve got nothing nice to say then say nothing at all 🫣

That sounds amazing!!! Your baby is lucky to have such a wonderful diet. And it sounds like your in-laws need to back the hell away.
If mine tried anything like that you can guarantee they'd not be seeing me or their grandchild again until they read some research and apologised!

In the nicest way possible your in laws need to fuck all the way off back to their hole and keep their opinions to themselves.

Milk may not be ‘just for fun’ before one but milk is their main diet until 1. You’re feeding your baby what they’ll eat and know them best.

Also 10/10 to your partner for sticking up for you all. ❤️

That’s three meals a day though?!? Plus she’s still getting the majority of her calories from milk. How much more do they want you to feed her? These boomers don’t understand the concept of BLW - my mother keeps trying to make me give my little boy half cows milk half water. And she used to mix raw eggs into my bottles!

Thank you all 😢 our daughter is only having picky bits. She will possibly have 6 baby spoons and refuse the rest and to them that's just not enough. She would prefer her bottle over food every single time so to have those 6 spoons is AMAZING to us x

They’d hate what I fed my son then 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s only in the last few DAYS started to eat off a spoon and he’s 9 months. Previously he’d only eat cucumber and spit loads out, or toast but he’d just spit it everywhere and drop it.

She’s doing absolutely fine as are you. Your in laws need to wind their collective necks in 😂 x

They just don't realise how times have changed x apparently we should have introduced food at 3 months as they did that with their children and they aren't dead so nothing has changed x

I was going to say 6 spoonfuls is amazing. She’s giving it a good go and that’s all that we can ask for 🥰 x

Honestly just ignore them!!! They’ll be telling you whiskey on the gums and cry it out next 🙄 you know best and times have absolutely changed, thank god 😂 x

@Samantha exactly, my baby is 9 months and only has food here and there. Only wants milk atm and hes growing fine! Happy baby

@Hafsa yeah every baby is different. My sister had two dramaticly different babies to. Her son was not into food and her daughter was a food monster

We've come out just the 3 of us today, they are giving us the silent treatment which is a bit odd when really it should be the other way round x

I would politely tell them that they are quoting old-fashioned advice. Tell them that you appreciate their concern but you are going to continue following the updated advice from trained professionals as it's working really well for your family. Food is for fun until 1, as they are getting all they need from milk at this age its not recommended to offer food more than 3 times a day, and you have no intention of force feeding your baby.

If they still mention it I'd suggest they look on the start for life website to update their knowledge and ease their concerns. However make it very clear that you are both well informed on the matter and don't require their input. If they can't respect that I would be considerably less polite.

Well we saw them on the way to the pool and she said we are really sorry for what we said and I said you best fucking had as you were both disgusting and his dad went eh hang on and I stopped him and said NO you were vile and it was vile behaviour, he went quiet and she said it was just the drink took over and we have no right to tell you how to feed your child. I said no you absolutely don't, so she asked if they could start again with us and I said yes 🙄 they asked if they could spend the day with us tomorrow and I said well our day is round by the pool tomorrow

Of course your not starving your child .. sounds to me like they need to work on their communication style. Don’t let this dent your confidence x

You are doing amazing. You know your baby better than anyone else and sounds like your baby is getting everything they need

Thank you xo

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