Who else agrees this is wrong of my partner?

Our daughter has appeared in some adverts for a kids clothing brand and I have made a bank account for her to keep all her money for her for when she is older. I’ve told my partner we are not to touch it as it’s her money she’s earned. But he said if he is ever short of money he should be allowed to go in there and take money out (and claims he would put money back but I don’t trust this as he does this a lot to me or his friends) and also to use that money for travel if she has any upcoming shoots. I disagreed completely saying as parents we should pay for the travel for her to go to these shoots and that he should never ever touch that money as he may not pay back the correct amount or keep taking money out and it’s hard to put it all back. I feel like it’s exploitive and wrong on our daughter. We just had a massive argument about this. He isn’t on a high wage and is in a little bit of debt but he also isn’t sensible with money (claims he has no money but somehow always has smoke or gets regular hair cuts etc). Am I right in thinking this is wrong of him to say or am I over reacting?

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I think using the money she’s made, for traveling, if it’s for more work. That one makes sense. Sure.
But other than that, no, he should not be touching that money.

Your feelings are absolutely valid!! And good job mom for protecting her interests!! You are doing the right thing!!

Completely agree with you to use as a savings pot for her. No way should it be a ‘if I’m low in using it’ 😂 manage your money better!

However if a shoot came up and didn’t have to cash up front to pay for the travel etc then I think using that money is fine, she’s going to earn more money and experience by going to the shoot 🤷🏽‍♀️ wouldn’t try to make a habit out of it though! Just if was needed.

Using her money for his own interests is wrong. She’s essentially earned that herself, he’s a dad so I’m sure he has his own money.
He has no reason to be touching what’s hers x

I agree with you! Good on you for standing up for yourself & advocating for your daughter. Its her money, she earned it.

He shouldn’t be touching it period. Make sure he doesn’t have access to it

I think you’re both right and both wrong. He shouldn’t be allowed to borrow/spend her wages but it should also be used for expenses if travelling for shoots

I would try to keep the money for my child obviously. But you have a duty of care to put a roof over your child’s head. If you couldn’t afford to pay for the basics that would be different.

I see I may have been wrong about using some for travel expenses to and from shoots if she got another one, as it’s for her expense. But I wouldn’t want to make it a habit personally as I would want her to have all the money she earned when she is old enough. I’m glad to see I’m not over reacting about him feeling entitled to take out money for himself if he is short of it. It’s literally money she has earned and as her dad he should respect that and leave it for her. He is terrible with money, and owes me/ his friends quite a lot. I would hate for him to get in a habit of doing this with our young daughter. It’s not fair or right as it’s literally money she has earned. He hasn’t done the work, she has. I’m honestly just shocked at him and so upset with how angry he got when I told him it wasn’t right and I wouldn’t allow him access to it

That’s the only reason why he thinks he should have a right to it, because he’s terrible with money and wants another person to be able to take it from instead of being a responsible adult

@Alexis hit the nail on the head 🫡

I’d put the money in an isa or something so only the kid can withdraw it once they turn 18. I’ve done this for my baby!

@Natalia that’s what I’m going to do now, and this defo means no one can get the money out and that it will all be hers only?

Open yourself a separate account and put her money in there giving him no access, transfer to your daughter when she reaches an age to make financial decisions but I do feel travel cost are reasonable to remove if you are not in a financial position to afford it.

Move the bulk of it to a CD, they can earn a higher interest level and you can re-evaluate your money ideas every few years at renewals. It allows some flexibility that a trust wouldn't

Just had another heated talk with him about it. I had to use an analogy with him for him to see sense as he was arguing with me, essentially saying he was entitled to our daughter’s money. I said to him would you feel entitled to just take money out of your mother’s account without asking if you needed it. He said obviously no. So I said why do you feel you can take money out of our daughter’s account which she has worked for without asking? Just due to her being too young to understand what she is agreeing to or the concept that that money is hers? I said it’s essentially stealing. Eventually I got him to see sense. But he was so bitter and stubborn about it. I’ve told him I’m going to make an ISA account and that we wont have access to it and all that will have access is our daughter when she is 18

Just be very careful of people who feel entitled… that’s a big red flag to me…

@Lyss it’s a huge red flag for me too. I’ve come to realise he has a very selfish personality and I’m struggling to see him in a positive light right now

Do you feel he has genuine empathy and consideration for you and your needs?

Incog, put the $ into a custodial Roth IRA. It’s essentially investing in long term stocks tax free. There’s also penalties for withdrawing early so your husband can’t touch it and instead of it just sitting there it will accumulate funds. Also tax free when she comes into possession of it and does choose to withdraw from it.

Id be putting that money in a savings account that can't be touched until she's 18

He’s generally in the wrong. The only exception I would make is if you’re about to be evicted or have electricity cut off or something like that - then it could hopefully be replaced when you’re in a better situation. But not for his frivolity

@Mia 🌼 & Incog, a savings account just sits there and with inflation it actually depreciates in value. A high yield savings account accumulates interest for sitting in the bank untouched. However for an hysa the child would pay taxes on the interest earned and if it’s in the parent’s name it could be subject to a gift tax on the parents.
A custodial Roth IRA currently has a max annual contribution of $7k untaxed. Adjusted for inflation investing your IRA in the S&P 500 usually appreciates approx 6.5% return annually and is untaxed.
A 529 plan or educational plan has no annual limit on how much you can contribute. If your child decides not to go to college it can roll over into a Roth IRA for them. It is also untaxed.
Parents cannot withdraw from custodial ROTH IRA or 529 plan and the 529 plan does not let you withdraw for non educational expenses.
The custodial ROTH IRA converts to an adult one at 18-21. Your kid can withdraw from it tax free for things like education or buying a

house up to $10k or certain emergencies like medical. Or they can continue to max it out annually and use it as a retirement plan and not touch it until 59 and 1/2. And then can withdraw from it penalty free.
Hope this helps and makes sense.

I’d max out the IRA and put the remainder in a 529 plan. I have yet to meet the kid who inherited a lump sum under the age of at least 25 who didn’t immediately waste it away.
Especially since one of the parents has not the best spending habits (dad).

Pretty sure this is illegal, you can’t use money your child has earned but I do understand using the money towards travel

@Cass yes and no. Legally speaking they can use the money if the funds are in a joint account.
Laws also vary pretty significantly depending on state. WA state is probably the strictest. CA is also pretty strict and kids can sue their parents for their money back.
But even there parents do have a right to the funds by claiming it’s being used in support of the child. Ex MacCaulay Culkin and Jackie Culkin. Jackie was required to put only 15% in a trust.

Who else agrees this is wrong of my partner?

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