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I have a C section booked in 3 days and have a 2 year old. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle recovery with your toddler at home. I don't want her to get upset I can't pick her up and do all the normal things I do with her. Worried about jealousy!
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Learn more about our guidelines.Mine were 17 months apart. The way I bonded with my toddler was took a nap with her every day just me and her since I couldn’t hold her. Or she would sit on the couch with me. It was still tough and some jealousy but blocking out those times made me and her feel better. Eventually I world be putting my newborn down for a nap and she would fall asleep on both of us.
Jealously will be normal the first couple of weeks. My toddler tried to kick and hit my newborn the first week and now they’re the best of friends. I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. They will become so close after a while. I had a c section and my husband had to go back to work as soon as I got home. Take it easy on your body don’t do anything too strenuous and just take it easy the first week It will be helpful if your toddler can sit on the bed with you for naps etc so you don’t have to lift into crib that’s what we did the first few days. It won’t be that bad.
It’s also helpful if you have meals planned out or set up a meal train where family and friends can set up meals for the first couple of weeks for the family while you adjust! That was a lifesaver for us
I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 month old. I had a csection. Ive spent the whole pregnancy talking about baby brother and reading books about becoming a sibling, and talking about how she can help me. The closer we got to the birth I spoke about how I would have a big boo boo and that I wouldn't be able to lift her and that daddy would have to do that until my boo boo healed.
I adapted things. She liked to turn the light off at bedtime but couldn't reach. Had her stand on a chair to reach it so I didn't lift her.
Had baby brother lie in bed with her for a few minutes to say goodnight.
Let her play doctor and "check" my boo boo. When asking is it better yet saying almost.
Never say no to anything with the baby. I guided her with gentle hands. Even if she is a little rough I know that I can correct her behaviour. If there is something I dont want her doing I give her two choices of something I know she really likes to do with him.
Let her hug, kiss, hold him as much as she wants even if it is every 5 secs.
I let them lie on the playmat together and when she asks to help pick him up I say okay then help me and she helps me as I pick him up.
I also make sure if she asks me to do something specifically I put baby down and go do it if I'm just holding baby. If I'm feeding/changing/trying to get baby to stop crying/to sleep in explain what im doing and ask her to wait until im finish then I will do it with her.
I also tell baby that its toddlers turn now. I use the line: your turn is over baby, its now toddlers turn. I cant just be your mummy, I have to be toddlers mummy too or she would be sad, wouldn't you? And then I go on to have a conversation with my toddler about various things as I get her ready/play with her etc. And I do the same to her when its babies turn.
So far haven't had any jealousy. Don't know if it is down to the above or I'm just lucky that my toddler is just so good with her baby brother. 🥹
You will need to arrange for help from friends or family for even a week
My daughter was very aware that I had this done and was very careful with me she understood I couldn’t pick her up etc and we spent ages before letting daddy put her to bed (still in the cot) x
My toddler was 2.5 when I came home with her sibling after another section. I was home alone after day 5 with 2 kids.
My tips:
We brought baby home with a “present from baby” for her. “Look what he brought for you!”
I went and sat in the bed (we got home in the night) and told her to come cuddle me. Just me and her time and her dad was holding the baby first. She’d missed me (first time away from her) so she had a few moments first then dad gave her her brother.
I set up a nappy station next to the sofa and bed.
I explained mummy was a bit sore and she totally understood it. We still cuddled on the sofa and bed just lots of “be careful” but also not making her fearful. Mummy is fine, mummy isn’t poorly, no the baby didn’t do this. Just a little sore, baby.