my boyfriend is a compulsive liar

we have been together almost 3 years and have a toddler together. i am coming to realise he lies about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. i noticed he lies about eating. for example he will get us food and come back with nothing and i will ask him if hes had anything and he will say no… only for me to find the wrapper in the car. okay maybe hes insecure about food… no. not long ago i made pulled pork for my nieces birthday party and come down at midnight to turn it over in the slow cooker. the next day at the party i walk into him telling everyone he went downstairs and did that. obviously i caught him out in this lie in front of everyone and hope it embarrassed him. last night he said he had brought the washing in after me and my mum had asked my dad (we live with my parents) and my mum told me my dad had said he had done it. it is literally the most MINOR and silly things it is so stupid and i can’t for the life of me understand why. those are a few examples but it’s been this kind of lying i’ve noticed for a while. he on many occasions has also lied to his parents about the randomest things they wouldn’t care about and ik he has because i was there in those situations he’s lying about. i have also caught him following and liking womens instagram profiles and its always the ones with their 🍈 out and the ones that have a link to exclusive content in their bio. again when i bring this up for the second time last night just a string of lies. he was aware i was annoyed at him but before i told him what for removed his likes on these pictures and DENIED it. this is a boundary i set early on in the relationship he didn’t have to carry on with me if he didn’t like it. it may seem like petty and stupid things and it may seem silly im annoyed at it but with the constant lies i am losing my trust in him. ive been cheated on in a past relationship so already struggle enough with trust so it really takes the piss. how do i deal with a compulsive liar? can it be fixed or should i just give up? my plan right now is to keep calling him out and embarrassing him for his lies.

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Id confront him about the regular lies as a whole, not just each individual instance. Tell him what you've observed and ask him straight out why he does it. Leave the Instagram issue for another conversation because that is a problem on its own. You need to find out why he is regularly lying about things that don't matter and have him consider counseling

Compulsive liars never change. It’s a learned behaviour from childhood and part of his core personality now. He would need a lot of therapy, years worth probably and even then, he would still need to tackle his urge to lie daily. There’s no point calling him out on it - I mean you’ve been with him 3 years already, has it made any difference? Exactly. I would be looking to make exit plans because you can’t trust a liar and without trust, you have no relationship anyway.

I was engaged to a compulsive liar for 11 years. In the last 8 months together he was cheating on me, living a double life with someone else. I obviously broke up with him when I found that out, and I'm now happily married with two kids and have the best life, without worrying about silly lies. Only you know if it is worth staying with him and dealing with this forever, but you never know what he could lie about next and how big a lie he could be telling as for me it got worse and worse... He has to know he has a problem before he can get help... He would need counselling etc and it's not certain how long it will take and if it would work... It's all in his mindset. But good luck, I know how horrible it is to be lied to about silly little things, and also big things x

To be honest it sounds like he could be getting off from lying, being “risky”, caught in a lie and maybe with some things wants to make himself look better like saying he brought the washing in or he does all these things that helps everyone else. He obviously knows he’s doing it, other people have also witnessed him lying. At this point I’d be completely done and shutting the door in his face. I can’t stand liars, even if it’s over small things personally. He’s also disrespecting you, your family and your boundaries. It is up to you whether you continue but from my own personal experiences with compulsive liars, you can never really trust what they are saying is true. What stops him from lying about harsher things as well? It’s a horrible situation to be in and I’m sorry. You deserve better than that

Idk if I’m any help but I left mine . Pregnant or not . I may have been walked out my first pregnancy and it sucks . This pregnancy was cheated on with a compulsive liar . But I made it known I wasn’t afraid to do it alone again. Because us mothers are strong and can overcome anything with our strength. I had it with my second baby daddy when he cheated on me and lied . I found out through social media when the other girl or what not had pictures blazing all over her page of him. I didn’t call her out specifically because she is just as much the victim as me . I gave him an ultimatum though. Of course he made the wrong decision so I said I was done ✅. I may have two kids , but I’m dang sure not staying with someone who is inconsistent on everything they say . And lies about everything. Mine don’t ever reach out to me anyways . So I just don’t give him any updates nothing . Changed my status to single and went about my business. Some men never change

I was with one of those weird liars. Eww worst relationship ever. I was inexperienced, young, and too naive. Worst waste of time. Happiest moment ever was breaking up with that loser. A liar will never change no matter how good they are at saying they will. Whether they are or aren’t trying to be a bad person, they don’t care enough to stop lying even if it’s hurting their loved ones.