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Before you read on, I am talking about personally being against crying it out…
For some background I was an early 90’s baby so my mum let me cry it out based on some popular person at the time. When she mentioned it to me after I had the baby, I said I absolutely wouldn’t be doing that and she responded with it did me no harm. It has, not being able to ask for help and things like that, I do believe it’s had a lasting impact on me. I didn’t say anything at the time to my mum, I had a newborn and just couldn’t be bothered getting into it. I have dealt with that and I work hard to be able to speak up when things are wrong asking people around me for help and support.
To the current issue, we are close to my next door neighbours, they have a 18 month old and they let her cry it out. Sometimes for hours the screaming goes on for, I can hear it all. I have spoke about it and I’ve tried direct them to up to date research on what it does long term, when they have messaged to say why they are doing it and apologise for the noise. They also put their baby in their own room at 3 months because she was making too much noise for them to sleep. All this is really triggering me in some way and I’m feeling an overwhelming feeling like I hate them.
I know it’s none of my business on how other people raise their children and their own personal circumstances with what works best for them. I am also aware it clearly comes from childhood issues and knowing what issues I have now from that (that’s why I wrote the first part).
Having my baby triggered all this, I can’t bear to hear him cry, it breaks my heart. I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone has experiences like it too and what kind of coping mechanisms they use to move past it with it being so close to home with having a baby.
If you got to the end, thanks xx
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.I totally get this. 92 baby when cry it out was so much of a thing.
I had CBT while I was pregnant and not being able to ask for help without feeling guilty was one of the issues we worked through.
I wish I had advice on how to handle the current situation I don't think I could cope with that either especially now as a mum. We don't do cry it out as such, my little one woke up from a nap too early and grizzled a bit for 5 minutes but I could tell watching him on the monitor he was still tired so I left him and he put himself back to sleep. But his cries have very distinctive sounds and grizzly complainy cries are very different from I need you cries which I can't bring myself to ignore.
I know everyone is different and has different views on it which is totally ok it's just not something I feel like is right for us