Changed child!

My daughter is 6.5 and normally a sweet girl, absolute angel at school, usually great at home, with the usual off days. Bits she’s always been my buddy. Since yesterday she’s a changed child, rude, argumentative, calling me and her little sister names, refusing to do anything! Thats the trigger, as soon as she’s asked to tidy her mess, which is everywhere! Her room, playroom, living room. She just flips when I ask her to do anything, saying she needs help , it’s unfair etc. The worst part, hwr sister is listening g and copying her 😢I lost it today as I’m on my own with both and I’m so ill too. Is anyone experiencing that it has any advice? Thank you in advance xx

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

It could be to do with demands, my son is autistic with a pda profile and adhd and any kind of demand he refuses and acts out. I have to word things so that it's a choice he's making or I make it into a game, put the tidy up song on and see how much we can do till it finishes, I usually have to help him tidy he won't do it alone x

I have no advice but know that you're not alone. My 6.5yo son is exactly the same, and his little brother (20m) is copying everything 😩

I’m starting to notice this within my daughter’s friend group, they are all 7 already, it’s as if the hormones are starting to come in and getting the attitude etc xx
I’m currently never allowed to be right, she’s always right apparently drives me absolutely insane!! X

Could be hormones but also other factors. Any changes in her home, school, external environment, appetite/food, sleep pattern?

Same here!! My 7 year old was such a lovely boy but the last year he's been argumentative, sensitive always angry, dosent want to do anything I ask him to do, tells me and his dad how he hates us and hates his life. He's in a very loving home so no idea where he gets all the attitude from. He's also got a 2 year old brother to which copies everything my 7 year old does and its a fighting battle everyday. Your not alone. X

My son is like this but he has ADHD, same age. Struggles with demands and genuinely does need help. It must be hard being on your own if your not well as normally I'd suggest starting the task with her but that sounds like maybe it's not possible. Use incentives for tidying her room and just ask her to do one part of it at a time, like a specific type of toy or part of her room. I still have to tidy my son's room with him, he can't do it alone and I do a lot more of it. He's got messier and challenges me more on requests more so I have to think about how I word things and what mood he's in when I ask ie let's tidy your room together before bed you don't want to step on Lego in the night and then we can read a story you like for example.

in our community

Overwhelming MIL

Hi ladies, just wondering if any of you have had to deal with/have any advice for an overwhelming MIL. For context, she lives 5 mins away whilst all my family love 3.5 hours away so we barely see them.

Ever since I've gotten pregnant my MIL has been more overwhelming than usual, (we have had run ins in the past due to crossed boundaries). She's gotten into the habit of saying "my baby" so things like "How's my baby?" "I bought this for my baby?" "When my baby is here" and I find it really uncomfortable.

We've tried correcting her but she just laughs it off and says "just wait until shes here, you'll see, she'll be my baby" and it worries me that when baby is here (due September) I will be at my most vulnerable and won't be able to deal with this behaviour.

My husband is lovely and he tries his best but whenever we set boundaries, it's almost as if she pushes to try and break them on purpose. Any advice on how to manage this? Or how to make life more bearable? There have been a few other red flags from her (purposely coming near me when she smokes, demanding every scan photo etc) but I don't want to/have the energy to cause arguments...help!

Friendships after a baby

Hi. I hope no-one minds me asking on here, I just don't know what to do.
I had a close work colleague/friend that I would tell everything too (she helped me a lot with my mental health when we were struggling to conceive) We've been work colleagues for a couple of years but really good friends for the last year or so (we spent a lot of time doing walks/coffees etc last year)
However since having my baby she's gone very quiet (she has got some personal things going on as well and she has always been terrible at replying to any messages)
Since being on maternity, I've messaged to check on her, I'm mentioned about meeting up and even suggested some dates but nothing. My husband thinks I should just draw a line in the sand as I've been making all the effort and getting nothing in return. I don't want to force her to be my friend. It upsets me a lot that she doesn't contact me as I thought we were close.
I guess my question is, do I give her longer? If not, do I message to explain and not just go radiosilent.
I'm a very conscientious person and I overthink a lot of things but surely if she is just busy with life I should give her a reason as to why I stopped messaging her??

Thank you if you've read this far. My mental health is not great right now and this upsets me greatly that I think I've lost my closest friend.

Upset

I have made posts on here few times about how my now 12 week old baby sleeps rubbish at night, wakes every 3 hours for a feed and inbetween he cries from gas and fidgets. My partner works 4am shifts during the week and sleeps in our 2nd bedroom (which will eventually be nursery) then on weekends he gives me 2 nights off and he does the night shifts. This is the 2nd time now since he’s done the night shift where my baby literally has gone 7/8 hours without waking… HOW?!! He literally could NEVER with me. He was last fed around 7:15pm and didn’t wake until 3am and has just woke 7am for feeds, I’m happy my boyfriend got sleep but genuinely I wake up everyday from no sleep, I wake every hour or so normally… I’m actually just feeling pissed off … what was different last night? Am I doing something wrong? Could it be that he didn’t really nap yesterday evening? Or I fed him a couple of bottles during the day we’re 180ml instead of 150ml. I really don’t know.

Baby bouncer

So my LO has reached the weight limit for her bouncer which I pop her in when I’m in the bath of shower… any one know of any that can hold larger weight?

Signs of Autism

Last year while on the beach, a woman had a sideways remark about my toddler having Autism

I had said “he wasn’t even evaluated or diagnosed”

She said “oh wait, he will be for sure”

This came from his gravitation to the ocean. She claims children with autism are obsessed with water.

I’ve never heard of that personally. I have a family member with autism who HATED water and it took years of therapy to get them to tolerate water for bathing or showering.

Tonight I visited with my mother and she made a remark about my child “twirling/spinning” in circles while playing outside and then going towards the hose to play with the water. She had said “wow! (Child’s name) really enjoys water don’t they?

Should I be concerned or getting an evaluation or seeking a developmental pediatrician visit?

I’m really at a loss. Child is two and a half going on three years old.

Boundaries being crossed a little bit

Hello ladies,

I’m 36 weeks pregnant and my elective c section is in a few weeks!

During my pregnancy I’ve found that my MIL in particular tends to overstep boundaries I set, not always intentionally but it’s really starting to get to me now.

We’ve decided to keep the c section date between me and my husband and have mentioned this to both our parents on multiple occasions and even explained reasons why we’re choosing to do this. I had my baby shower about two weeks ago and my MIL continued to ask about it and I just reiterated what I’ve told her over the course of the last few months (that it’s happening, it’s booked but we’re keeping the date between us).

Last night my Brother in law was checking in and asking about my c section date, I told my husband because I thought it was lovely his brother was checking in, to which my husband said “yeah my mums been asking about the date” I filled him in on what I told his mum at the baby shower and he just shrugged it off as her “forgetting” but I know that’s not the case, I don’t want to make a scene so I keep quiet but I’m finding it frustrating.

She’s done this with other things too so this isn’t the first case, I love my MIL but I’m loosing my patience as it just feels like she’s constantly trying to cross boundaries and maybe tries to be a bit sneaky about it?