Intimacy

My husband and I still haven’t managed to have full penetrative sex (just over 3 months pp now). I had a second degree tear and stitches down there. It all feels fully healed but also so very tight, my husband is not able to enter me at all. We’ve tried multiple times now and I’m getting really frustrated. Anyone else had this problem and has any advice? Thanks so much xx

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

If you're healed that's great, but sometimes it takes a while for the scar tissue to loosen and stretch. And that takes a while. Also sometimes it gets be locked after and you need to restrain your body to relax again. You can do this through lots of orgasms and pleasure. If it does improve they do, have wideners which start small and get bigger but most people don't need these, they just need a bit more time to heal!
It will happen though just try and focus on pleasure and not penetration a bit longer and if it's doesn't improve speak to medical and get a gyny referral.
Again that's a long way off.
My doctor said just be kind to yourself and it will happen.
:)

Sometimes the hormonal changes after pregnancy can cause some dryness which can have the appearance of tightness. You could try vaginal moisturisers or a lubricant if you think that may be the issue. Otherwise it may be worth talking to your doctor or HV.

It honestly took us like a year to have sex unfortunately. I think a lot may have been psychological but it also just didn’t feel right after stitches (an episiotomy) and it just wasn’t enjoyable for me. It’s so much better now 2 yrs on!

I had a tear with my first that didnt heal right - the scar tissue had formed a lump. I had no idea until i went to the doctors and she said it was no surprise we couldn’t have sex - so maybe worth getting yourself checked out?

It could be a pelvic floor issue or it could be hormonal. I did have the same issue after my first birth. Are you breastfeeding/ has your period returned? For me things went back to normal once my periods came back but they were very delayed due to breastfeeding. The hormonal changes from breastfeeding can make things dry down there too. Due to having a third degree tear with that birth I am accessing pelvic floor therapy through the NHS and this is really helpful, you could enquire about this but not sure it's available in all areas.

It can very much be psychological. Took me almost 2 years!

I would honestly go to the doctor and get checked out.

While the “husband stitch” is illegal, I wouldn’t be surprised if sometimes a stitch accidentally goes a bit far, or that we naturally heal a bit too far sometimes.
Worth checking out in case it’s a fixable issue.

I had the same, I was seeing a pelvic floor physio for other issues and she recommended that I do perineal Massage to help the scar tissue. As others have said hormonal issues can play a part especially if you are breastfeeding as your oestrogen will be low.

Also be kind to yourself it's a massive thing that's happened to your body and sometimes you just need to give yourself some time

Try a water based lubricant, use as much as u need . I was the same at first u just have to push threw the pain it may be a bit uncomfortable at first but after will feel much more comfortable for you , also take time I know it’s frustrating but maybe putting to much pressure on your self

in our community

My 2 year old boy still not speaking yet…

So my son is 2 years old, he makes sounds, babbles and does vowel sounds as well. But still no words.. sometimes when teaching him he would not stay still and just wants to play. He’s is going to take speech therapy soon. Just So nervous and feel I’m losing hope.. is there any mom going through this? Is this normal? Would he spake soon in his own time? What should I do? Love and bless y’all 💕✨

Epidural

Has anyone had an epidural before?
I gave birth last week Saturday

Once they put the needle in my back before putting on the epidural I needed to push and then the baby came so I end up having the needle in but not the epidural medicine!! I was so annoyed but she had told me I was only 2-3 cm dilated and next minute you know I needed to push in a hour

The question is I have bad nerve like back pain can’t pick anything heavy!

I know it’s only need a week but does this pain get better? I’ve got a two year old and I can’t even hold him.

I’m so worried I’m going to be stuck with this pain

Never slept through

I'm looking for some solidarity rather than advice 😅 my son is 17 weeks tomorrow and has slept through a grand total of zero times! Just wanted some reassurance that we weren't the only ones, I know it's normal but I feel like I haven't seen anyone else say it.

Colostrum harvesting

Question - I am 36 +5 and started hand expressing this week. Advice from midwife was keep in the fridge for 24 hours whilst trying to fill a syringe then pop in the freezer. First day I got 0.4ml over 2 sessions - one session today got another 0.2ml in a new syringe.

How does anyone manage to fill them!! Do I just need to keep saving bits in each or am I doing it wrong??

10 week old & formula amounts

Hello, how much do your babies drink at 10 weeks?

I'm worried that my LO isn't eating enough as he's dropped on the curve slightly but still in the 9th centile.

He's not really increased how much he has for a few weeks now but will refuse to eat anymore so not sure what to do. HV didn't seem too concerned but has anyone else had this?

Walking

Hi so I noticed a long time ago that my daughter walks on the outside of her foot (only on one foot) and will took her toes under her foot, I’ve never mentioned it because I thought she’d grow out of it but now I’ve had 3 comments having concerns. Has anyone else experienced this with their LOs