Stepkid scared to speak to me when mom is around

Stepkid had a celebration at school. We all went and it was very awkward. We all know her mom doesn’t like me and says negative things to stepkid. Stepkid tells us this and has told us many times that her mom gets mad when she is speaking about me.

When we got there stepkid got clearly tense and started avoiding eye contact hard. She wouldn’t even look at me let alone talk to me. Her dad even asked her to say hi to me and she was still too scared to look at me or say hi to me because her mom was right there. I told her it’s okay to speak to me she doesn’t need to be scared and she said hi but was still tense.

She got less tense once we weren’t right by her mom but she kept a close eye on her mom and got quiet whenever she came close. It very much felt like she was monitoring us. When we went across the room she shortly followed and just stood by even as her guest remained seated. It was awkward and tense. I’m almost certain others could tell as well as they’ve seen sk and I interact every day and she has never acted like this.

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I hate moms like that. Just know once she’s no longer a minor she’ll be able to be free from that BS.

Poor thing! I hope you've said something later like "I'm sorry your mom makes you feel like you can't talk to me when we're all together. I could see it was hard for you (at that event). I love you and hope you don't any feel pressure or awkwardness coming from me. If you do, we can talk about it and maybe we can do something to make it better in the future." I hate that for your sd. She's just trying to enjoy her school event and instead she trying to manage her adults' feelings... 😕 I hope you got her ice cream after 🍦

My stepdaughters are experiencing this and no matter what I act like things are ok and love on them no matter who’s around, including their mom and her side of the family.

@Bonny Unfortunately she went with mom after this and we won’t see her again until Monday.

My SD is the same way, including at Doctor appointments.

Poor kid 😟

That's not too late! For talks or for ice cream. 😀

@Bonny Hopefully. I try not to let it come up naturally so she doesn’t feel forced to talk about it. I’m sure it’ll come up eventually as these types of situations usually do, sometimes it just takes her some time. Felt so bad as I’ve never seen her look so uncomfortable.

@Jovana I try not to let it impact how I interact with or behave around my stepkid as well. I feel that it’d make things worse but I have empathy for her as I’ve been the kid in this situation and it’s not fun.

Only you know how it would
Impact this situation, especially if you experienced it as a child as well. I went through it as a child too so I always think about what I would’ve needed as a little girl back then when it comes to my girls. Wishing you the best 🙏🏼

I have a HCBM like this as well. She makes events really hard to attend together and it’s so frustrating. It won’t stop me from showing up the kid will appreciate it later on. Keep showing up and if the child ignores you that’s their loss. I hate that mom puts the child in that situation.

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