Going back to work and leaving my baby with my MIL/FIL

I’m so worried! I go back in 2 weeks our baby sees them quite often but when they have him they make their own rules, last night they gave him ice cream, my mil has given him cheesecake and whatever she wants to give him before and it’s worrying me, we have said just healthy food, I don’t mind what that is but just healthy but they still go by their own rules. So angry!

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I’d be furious - your baby, your rules! Will your other half say anything? I’d probably be quite open seeing as it’s a tough time dealing with going back to work and say if you can’t follow the rules then we will find alternative childcare x

I would only use professional care apart from my own parents as I think they are the only ones that listen . Xxx

How old is he? You need to make boundaries

tell her there are studies to show children these days (including your own!) cannot have more than 2grams of sugar a day… make them believe it and try to prove you wrong.
i definitely don’t follow this rule but if you can phrase it in a critical manner maybe they will get it through their skull
. keep things positive and neutral though since they’re helping out. just kindly remind them that the person putting that baby to sleep will reap the consequences of sugar given that day. encourage them to give baby fresh fruits and snacks instead of sugar rush and empty calories

Thanks all he’s 8 months old, and I can’t afford to put him in nursery next month as it’s £750 for two days a week. It’s tough that’s the only option I’ve got for childcare and I’m so worried, she’s stubborn and thinks it’s her own baby when she has him

Yeah I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my child with anyone but professional childcare as they just ignore you and assume they know better. Nobody in my family will be looking after my child alone until maybe 4-5 years old minimum.

Can you explain to her that you're really very grateful for the childcare support but that because it's a weekly occurrence it needs to be a little bit different than if she was seeing little one on the occasional date and giving him a treat? You can explain the sort of things he might love at home e.g. plain full fat yogurt, fruit etc which is still a "treat" for him but much healthier than the alternatives that she wants him to try. There's absolutely no need for him to have foods full of sugar and salt, it can cause damage meaning he might not be able to enjoy these things when he's older and will actually appreciate them more. Could you contact some local nurseries for menu examples maybe and show what they're serving? (Although I find ours is a little less healthy than what I do at home it's decent) Can you provide all the food when you drop him off? Unfortunately you can't police her but because you don't have much choice you can just try your best to make her understand why it's important.

Exposing him to excess sweetness early on does create problems later like tooth decay and obesity. Definitely set boundaries with the in-laws before this is a habit. The suggestion above to bring all his food for the day is brilliant.

Nope. She wouldn’t be watching him. I’d figure out something else 🤷🏼‍♀️ boundaries are there for a reason. Can’t respect them? Means you don’t respect me.

Will you qualify for the funded childcare hours?

I agree with the above comments, Pack baby’s food daily or stock her fridge/ cupboard with your approved essentials

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Your husband's boss has children similar aged to yours and he invited the family over so us wives and children could meet... How terrified would you be

I've been freaking out

Am I overreacting???

So I have a younger sister (23yr old ) she has 3 kids , 5,2 & 1 yr old .
She is constantly asking for me to baby sit for free .Which at first i didn’t mind wtv but now it’s constant & I’m tired of it .I have my own kid to take care of and tbh I don’t like taking care of my nephews … I love them to death but I just can’t with 4 kids by my self …. She asked if I can babysit again tomorrow for 4 hours I said “sure for a small golden eagle coffee frm Dutch bros “and she got upset … girl I’m done

am i a pos for getting to a point im refusing to let my son play with the neighbor boy?

to preface, the only reason i feel like im being a pos is because hes autistic and i understand there are things he can’t control and things that aren’t his fault but its getting to a point every time they play together hes breaking another one of my sons toys. easter day a toy my son had literally just got that morning they were taking turns with and the neighbor boy heard us telling his mom its pretty unbreakable. the neighbor boy slammed said toy over and over on trampoline springs until it burst open when all of us were busy & nobody was watching him and all the water went on the trampoline. he then hid the toy and lied about why there was water on the trampoline. he only admitted to it when my son found his toy and started crying because he saw it was broken. all his mom did was make him sit on the stairs for like 2 minutes. she said she would replace it, she offered to pay for it and she did neither of those things she offered to do. every time he comes outside he’s pushing my son, grabbing him and stretching out his clothes, banging the shit out of my sons toys on the ground, today he took my sons aluminum bat and beat the shit out of his baseball stand and broke it in half. my son is too nice and laughed when he told me but was holding back tears which infuriated the hell out of me. i told him i cant discipline the boy so he has to tell his mom, he told the mom and she did nothing. she just sat there and continued to let him play, she literally only gets onto him by saying his name and that’s it, the kid has no consequences for breaking my sons toys repeatedly. my son has also had to ask for toys back because the boy will straight up steal his stuff and i guess the mom just doesn’t care or doesn’t notice and my son has to just sneak it back when they’re not home or ask the mom because the boy won’t give anything back without being forced to. im just at my wits end, i feel like im constantly watching my son be bullied and have his stuff broken and hes so nice he still wants to be the boys friend. i could be more understanding if i saw the mom actually cared that her son was breaking stuff but she obviously doesnt.

Am I a bad mom?

Hi Mamas,

Am I wrong for wanting to leave my baby with my husband for a few hours so I can eat dinner with my brother? I just feel like I need some time away and honestly, with taking care of the baby all day, I am starting to resent my husband.

I know it’s just the woes of parenting, but he comes home after work and doesn’t have to do much.

Is this all in my head ?

I finally have a little time to myself. A family member came and picked up my two older kids and I’m left here with my baby boy but for some reason now that they’re gone and it’s not so much I have to do. I realize how depressed I am my partner is in the military, and I feel like he doesn’t want to come back. I am carrying all the way on my own emotionally. I don’t have any friends all I do is work and try my best to clean and do homework for myself. Part of me wants to call them and tell them to come back home, but I know once the kids come back I’m going to be overwhelmed all over again, but I can’t enjoy the alone time that I have because I’m stuck in my head.

Going no contact with in laws, undecided.

Hey. So this is a bit of a long winded situation forgive me if you have to read on forever. Advice is really appreciated. I don't want to feel like I'm weaponising my child or using her as leverage in any way so I really need some honest advice as my concerns are genuine.

Since announcing our pregnancy , my sister in law and her 19 year old daughter have gone from being super close with us, to ignoring us completely. I mean ignoring scans, not asking how we are, ignoring our attempts to make plans for other family members birthdays, nothing. Unfortunately my partner's dad has been undergoing intensive cancer treatment so it has been a super delicate and emotional time for everyone, but everyone else in the family including father in law has been really excited for us and made space for this good thing amongst the bad which I'm so grateful for as I didn't expect it at all. We've tried not to make it seem like the most important thing going on right now and been there for support, meal prepped his parents some food for those days they've spent at hospital and can't make dinner, we've not done gender reveal parties or baby showers as a result of this big fall out / perhaps it not being the right time either.

So the sister in law has a history of making things about her, and upsetting people with her behaviour. It's not the first time, she did it over her brother's wedding because things didn't go her way. So I was semi prepared for a bit of resentment / inability to be happy for us. But I was still really quite hurt when it materialised. My first trimester was spent really upset not understanding what I did wrong to them to deserve them not welcoming my baby. We put our foot down after a few months of being ignored and decided to call out the behaviour, and we just got a complete attack in return. Apparently we are responsible for the fact she doesn't have a partner for support through her dad's cancer diagnosis, apparently we don't show up for the parents as much as she does (she works from home and lives round the corner, we are one hour away) apparently her daughter prefers how my partner was with her before I came along. Lots of things that just show resentment came up and we've had no apology for it, some of it felt like it came completely out of the blue. Apparently they were ignoring us because before Christmas we didn't like a photo of her daughter Infront of a Christmas tree. (We were going through some really sad stuff at the time). We have explained this, and said it's not really on the same scale as ignoring the existence of an entire new baby for months. It just felt like she was clutching at straws and throwing lots of punches rather than telling the truth as to why they decided to become upset with us after we became pregnant.

I've kept quiet, I've been in hospital twice with heart palpitations which turned out to be panic attacks. Had to go on anti depressants which made me really unwell for MONTHS, not keeping food or water in. Like I've not been okay at all and have communicated on two occasions that I need this to stop for the sake of baby whatever the issue is, theres more important things happening. Completely ignored. It's made things tricky in a sense of the family getting together too. My other sister in law (married to partners brother) is disgusted at how she's behaved and doesn't want much to do with her because she's been on the receiving end also.

I've had to scroll my feed and see bitchy videos from my niece about how 'talking to her is a privilege not an option ' with sister in law commenting things like 'damn right' after we were the ones ignored for months. The whole situation is just silly. But it's upset me a lot.

I've loved these girls like my own family for the past four years, but the way they've made me break down and put my baby at risk I really don't feel like I can move past. They obviously have a lot of resentment for me and I just feel like I can't then trust them around my baby, I feel like they don't deserve to get to hold my child or even look at her and I can't get past that feeling. My partner is in full support as he's seen how upset it has made me, he's been as worried as me at times for babys health amongst this.

I don't want any contact, have had them blocked for months anyway but I have a feeling they may try to show up when baby's here. What would you do?

There are a lot of details and things done and said left out but it's the jist of it. I've not spoken to them, I tried to reach out yet another time for this to stop and they ignored me and continued to ignore us revealing the gender too, but went straight on to wishing people a happy birthday in the same family chat the following day.

Is there any way to make space for your child to have a relationship when they've disrespected the mum and disregarded her feelings, health etc during pregnancy?

I've gotten to a stage I've dealt with it and have kind of decided what I think of them after all this, but having to make that decision on behalf of your child is something I've not experienced before.