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Is no intimacy normal?
My kids are 2 and 4. My relationship intimacy has never been great but ever since I was pregnant with my first the sec completely dropped off. Then the next time we had sec was when baby number two was conceived. I’ve had a huge talk to my partner about this and how I need it but nothing ever changes. We did end up having sex three times in one month but that was 2.5 months ago and now it’s nothing again. What do I do?
I’m 26. He is 37. He has bought an engagement ring. He knows I’m not happy with our sex life.
I’m a full time student and can’t afford to live without him.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.What’s considered normal when it comes to intimacy is relative to each relationship.
Tell us more about the talk and what about having another talk?
Is he still showing affection just not interested in being intimate?
Is he working longer hours? Tired? Stressed? Have health issues? Low testosterone?
Him needing bloodwork for low t would be my first thought.
He's so young to be over it. But might be a combination of things. Get some professional help if needed.
@Amanda we have had so many talks. Mainly about me feeling sexually frustrated and not getting what I need from a relationship. Feeling not loved and wanted. I told him what I need.
He has said for years he is working on getting better and will try be better. But nothing changes.
Mmm not really. He will kiss me on the cheek. Sometimes on the lips. He does want a hug sometimes but we never cuddle.
He works 9-5. He is always tired and stressed. He doesn’t know how not to be.
His testosterone is normal but on the lower side of normal. Doctors won’t do anything.
@Ashley done that. It’s in normal range.
@Lav we have. We did a year of relationship counseling and like 6 months of sex therapy.
Oh dear. So sorry. After professional helpbi really don't know what can be next. I am glad he agreed to it but how to move forward.
Omg I'm in the same boat. He even asked today if he got me a ring what would I say and I said idk cause I can't be in a sexless marriage. I used to want to marry him. I'm 33 he's 49 and we never had this issue before my 2 year old. He blames it on age but yet he watches porn. I've been telling him this is bothering me and I don't feel loved but nothings changing :(
@Amber I messaged you
Messaged you back
@Amber I was with a porn addict before we were both in our twenties and his addiction killed our sex life because he couldn’t stay hard in real life scenarios. It made it to where I lost my drive completely and even thought my meds were to blame. Nope, it was the unrealized internal pain from thinking something was wrong with me.
I’d be looking into other common hormone imbalances then. Having his thyroid checked and things like that and also therapy. If he has depression or another mental health issue addressing that can help too.
My guy's on anti depressants for his anger but I still don't think that's the problem cause porn 🙄