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Is it really as hard as they make out having a pre schooler and a baby ?
Our May baby has additional needs and I have strong emotions due to childhood trauma so sometimes I get stressed or overwhelmed with our May baby but we know we’re on a very long road with them with no light currently at the end of the tunnel and we don’t know if or when that’ll change.
The past few months everything in my body has been telling me we should start trying for baby no. 2 but I’ve pushed the feeling away because of everything with our May baby however the past couple weeks the feeling taken over and I really want another baby so last night I sat down with my husband and told him, his instant reaction was ‘no’ but after a while of talking he told me he doesn’t think ill cope . We both have our struggles with our May baby’s extra needs but because of my emotional problems he believes it’ll just end up with me having a melt down when our may baby cries and makes new baby cry or just general toddler to baby things . I feel like it’s just an adjustment and once we have adjusted things will be fine.
I have never felt so strongly about anything like I do now about wanting another baby and the only one doubt I have is what if this baby turns out to be extra needs aswell but we know what isn’t very likely. I absolutely loved the baby stage with our May baby and it wasn’t until they’ve became older that the fact they’re extra needs became clear so I feel this is a worry I’ll always have.
It feels like he’s using my emotions against me but I really feel it’s just about adjusting to being a family of 4 instead of 3 and at the end of the day we don’t know if things will ever get better with our May baby
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.Many mums all over the world cope with children at different stages and ages, I guess life's a journey and just employ your resilience and I guess by the time the birth happens the baby will be nearing 3 years next May but it's a decision for you both to feel comfortable with 😊
Sending you lots of love.
I’m at a similar-ish stage. My May baby doesn’t have additional needs but was a very difficult baby (much better as a toddler) we barely slept and i struggled to feed him either breast or bottle. I had PND as well as, potential adhd and past trauma too. I’m scared that I’m not ready for a second baby but my heart and body is saying that I want a second baby so much lately. For ages my husband wasn’t ready either (because of the sleep and difficult early days) but with time, he’s come round and we’re going to start trying soon.
It’s a really tricky space to be in because no one really talks about this stage. The wanting another child but not quite being ready or a partner who isn’t on the same page. It’s been months and months for me and a really difficult stage to be in. So sending lots of love xxx
Sending lots of love! I had a rubbish time with my May baby as a baby, I had lots of triggering traumas and went into a brutal ppd but recently I have craved another baby and my partner wanted us to wait a while longer but today we’ve decided we’re coming off contraception and see what happens! Maybe lots of talks and discussions will help you and your partner through this xx
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