Regret

I'll start by saying I love my little girl with everything I have. She was very much planned and we were fortunate to encounter smooth conception etc. She had reflux as a baby and CMPA which I feel robbed us of the newborn experience. She is 2 in October and whilst we have come on leaps and bounds from where we were I just don't feel I enjoy any part of this. She is so well loved and cared for. I have a supportive partner. On the outside we look like the perfect family. I love my partner and vice versa no concerns there but I just miss our "old" life massively. He already has another child who is 9 and he is more accepting of the fact kids get a little easier as they get older with communication etc and I can see that first hand as his other child is "easy" in comparison. My mum struggled to conceive me and I realise how fortunate we are that our little girl is healthy happy etc but it doesn't take away from the fact that I wish I could turn back the clock. I make a point of making sure my little girl never feels this. She is at nursery 2 days a week and we have my mum who offers good support for breaks etc but I feel no matter how many breaks I get it's never enough. It's not depression as I can see the joy in things etc but just don't enjoy motherhood. I'm just wondering if anyone else has or feels the same.

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I just think its the mindset and stage. Many women like it but also want a life and that's OK. Some people sink their existence into their kids. I don't think you were robbed of the new born experience. I think you experienced the reality of it and not the book, social media, or fairy tale versions of it. A lot of things didn't go how I had always hoped and I ended up with one child and once chance. When I lay with my wild child, I try to remember I only have a tiny portion of my life to spend with him before he leaves, makes his own family, has his own adult life. You only get so many years of cuddles and all the cute stuff they do, even though they can be annoying af as babies, toddlers and some teens. But you grew them. You made a whole freaking person who will have hobbies, emotions, grow taller than you, and take care of you one day, too. You're going to have hard time and life if def easier without them, but its also less meaningful. One day you will have grandkids maybe.

Kids to play with, who love you and run to you, but all the hard stuff won't be your responsibility 😆 try to think ahead. Maybe they will love to travel with you when they grow up! Go to fun cafes! Concerts! Whatever you like doing.

@Jordan I second this. You took it out of my mouth. Motherhood hit me hard but at least I decided to fulfil my dream of traveling the world and I tag my son along. He’s almost 4 and we visited 5 countries together so far. We started when he was 1 year old.
Incognito, When I have hard moments, I remind myself of an upcoming trip and what great memories we build together. (Even though, don’t let me fool you, traveling with young children is not for a faint of heart).

It’s okay to miss your old life whilst still grateful for having a child. We just need to try and prioritise self care and doing things we love. We can only be the best mum when we are happy and full of joy ourselves.

in our community

18 month old special breakfast!

My 18 month olds special breakfast! We usually stick to healthier options but kiddo had his 18m shots yesterday and is feeling a little under the weather so we figured a special breakfast as a pick me up was in order! So this morning he had waffles and strawberries with Nutella to dip into, and cranberry juice!

Your husband's boss has children similar aged to yours and he invited the family over so us wives and children could meet... How terrified would you be

I've been freaking out

Toddler rejecting dad - upsetting for us

This feels like a recurrent theme in my life but it’s ramped up. Our son is 2 later this month and he is getting soo dismissive of his dad. His dad has pretty delicate mental health so this hits him real hard and he tends to recoil (which we both know doesn’t help)

Last night for example was my partners term to do bedtime, however our son was getting so upset by him being put to bed by dad that I just ended up doing it.

Our son was getting so extreme that he was opening his bedroom door, taking dad by the hand and walking him out saying “bye dada”.

I know it’s hurtful for him. And I know it’ll pass. But our son has always been dismissive of his dad and we/I don’t know how to resolve it. Our son is so affectionate with me and it must be so painful for dad to not have the same love back.

And because of all this rejection, I end up doing most of the care (bed, bath, can’t be out of sight, wake ups etc)

They play well together for the most part, but it’s all on our son’s terms.

Dad has arranged for a son-dad day this weekend where I’m not involved. These days are few and far between but something I want them to have more of. Whenever I’ve been away for a day/overnight, they’re usually besties when I come back and it’s lovely.

It’s so hard and I’m hoping someone has experience and can tell me it gets better 😭

Does anyone else’s husbands do this?

We have a two year-old little girl and she has always preferred me. Every time that daddy wants to play with her. She says no I want mom and it hurts his feelings every time and he gets really upset and I don’t know what to do to get her to wanna be with him more Because she was doing good for a while and then we moved and now she doesn’t want anything to do with him again is anyone else’s toddlers like this and it’s so stressful because I hate seeing him get hurt because our daughter doesn’t want him.
And it’s hard on me because I’m a stay at home mom and I’m with her 24 seven so I don’t ever get a break because she always wants me And never wants to go with her dad.

Taking food to restaurants for baby

I’m posting as incognito because I feel a bit silly asking about this 😂 my son is nine months old with a suspected nut allergy. Tomorrow we’re going for a meal with family to a Chinese buffet. I for obvious reasons don’t want him eating from this buffet because of salt,msg and most importantly nuts (which are in A LOT of their dishes). At a buffet there is absolutely no guarantee something will be nut free as cross contamination can happen very easily. Would I be wrong to take my own food for him? None messy things like broccoli pancakes or oat muffins which I make at home for him. I also will be cleaning up his mess as I do at every place we eat at. Most of the time I let him have a little of whatever I’m having but as this is a buffet I’m not risking it.

Advice please

I’m a brand new boy mum and just looking for some advice - when putting on his nappy does his bits face up or down?