I can’t breathe

Me and my child’s father got into a physical fight at my mother house. I been dealing with post partum and I know that is not an excuse. I been the one getting physical with him and he’s never hit me until this time. He ended up hitting me back and threatening my mother and siblings by saying he’ll get her gun and wild the whole house up. I know he crossed a line. But for some reason I feel
Like disappearing. My mother wants me to keep my son from him. But I honestly do not feel like he’s a danger to him. We aren’t compatible but he’s an amazing father to our son. The guilt I am feeling is suffocating me. I don’t want to be but I won’t ever leave my son. I just can’t see a way out.

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It sounds like he has been very patient with you but reached his breaking point. Putting your hands on anyone you have a relationship with is never the right way. I understand why he got so upset. Since you said he never put his hands on you before he probably got extremely upset about reaching your level as well. I think u should talk to each other and figure out a way to make it work. Probably even talk to an older adult that’s not biased and could give you guys guidance. Hope you guys make it work for your son.

I’m so sorry about this. I understand he was frustrated and at his breaking point but he shouldn’t have put his hands on you. You shouldn’t have put your hands on him either. But him threatening your mother and siblings is a bit overboard. I know we all say things in the heat of the moment but personally I wouldn’t want my kid around someone who threatened to kill my family.

Umm… listen to your mother. If I were her, I would’ve called CPS on both of you and fought for custody of that child. You both come off as a danger to that baby. If I were in her shoes, you’d have two choices: either get full custody or leave my house. No one — and I mean no one — is going to make me feel unsafe in my own home. Honestly, you should look into the PATH shelter they can help you get away from him and start over .

I agree with first comment. It seems like he hit his breaking point especially because it was in front of your family. He probably felt wildly disrespected.

You should figure out a way to co-exist like getting couples therapy or split up because this is not an environment that you want to raise your son in. You don’t want your son thinking it’s ok for mommy to hit daddy and daddy to defend himself. Since he hit his breaking point, all bets are off and now you don’t know how he’ll react. If you do decide to stay together, you have to set the record straight with your family.

As mothers, I think we’ve all been through some degree of difficulty PP and hitting our partners isn’t acceptable. Why do you think this behavior is ok?

Lastly, I disagree with comments saying he shouldn’t have hit back. Yes, this is true but I’m sorry, after being hit over and over, as humans, we all have our breaking point. One person can’t be held to a higher degree than another just because they’re a man.

You need therapy. This is beyond advice from the internet. Please call your insurance for a therapist and get some help. Be careful what you say to the therapist so cps doesn’t get involved. But you definitely need some help with your temperament and your relationship needs some time to heal. Give him the space he needs as well that’s a lot to take in. I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said but it was probably built up it’s doesn’t make it right either but definitely get some help immediately

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This feels like a recurrent theme in my life but it’s ramped up. Our son is 2 later this month and he is getting soo dismissive of his dad. His dad has pretty delicate mental health so this hits him real hard and he tends to recoil (which we both know doesn’t help)

Last night for example was my partners term to do bedtime, however our son was getting so upset by him being put to bed by dad that I just ended up doing it.

Our son was getting so extreme that he was opening his bedroom door, taking dad by the hand and walking him out saying “bye dada”.

I know it’s hurtful for him. And I know it’ll pass. But our son has always been dismissive of his dad and we/I don’t know how to resolve it. Our son is so affectionate with me and it must be so painful for dad to not have the same love back.

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Does anyone else’s husbands do this?

We have a two year-old little girl and she has always preferred me. Every time that daddy wants to play with her. She says no I want mom and it hurts his feelings every time and he gets really upset and I don’t know what to do to get her to wanna be with him more Because she was doing good for a while and then we moved and now she doesn’t want anything to do with him again is anyone else’s toddlers like this and it’s so stressful because I hate seeing him get hurt because our daughter doesn’t want him.
And it’s hard on me because I’m a stay at home mom and I’m with her 24 seven so I don’t ever get a break because she always wants me And never wants to go with her dad.

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