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My boyfriend has children in another country. During my pregnancy I asked him when he would tell them about our baby and he said in his timing. I left him alone about it. When our baby was a month old he was on the phone to his daughter when our baby began to cry, I noticed he hung up on his daughter and he admitted he’d not told her about our baby and was waiting to see her for Christmas in person.
He claimed he would video call me with his two children and introduce them to our baby.
He went away on our babies first Christmas and did not keep in a lot of contact with us but I figured he was spending time with his children and his other family members who also reside there.
When my boyfriend returned it was out of the blue and I haven’t heard him on the phone to his children at all. He spends a lot of his time in the car speaking to them in private after work. I don’t think he’s told them about our son who is now nearly one in a few months time.
Should I be offended or forget about it?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.This sounds so awful, but are you sure you aren’t the secret woman and secret baby? It sounds like he’s keeping you and his child secret from his other life? If he’d wanted them all to know about you and the new baby, he wouldn’t have waited almost a year!!
@Charlotte He told me that he let the mother of the children about our baby when he was out there. But I find it weird no introductions have been made in nearly a year. He could be lying, or she might not want her children to know… I would be very surprised if I was the secret woman.
Nah. That's bs sorry. My partner has family in another country which doesn't even speak English and ik all of them even though we do that weird communication thing. But they know our baby and love her. Your partner is being dodgy and you need to find out wtf he is being like that. So does this mean they dk about you too or what's the story?? Not acceptable imo.
You need to tell them next time he’s otp
It sounds like he hasn’t told the family about you either?
Some men come over here for work and send money back to there wife and children.
They also lead a 2nd life over here on the quiet.
@Amanda Hi, he’s told his family about me. I know his parents, grandparents, siblings and extended family members. I’ve also been over to his country with my family. He does send money over for his children monthly.
@Lav Thank you for your reply. Yes, I agree it’s dodgy. I have been over to his country with my family and I also know his family too. I’ve met his parents, siblings, aunts, uncle, cousins, etc in person on holiday and we do lots of video calls. But I’ve only been involved once with his kids… I was pleasant and polite to them. After that, he didn’t mind having me in the background but seemed as if he wouldn’t really want me saying hello. Since we had our baby he doesn’t speak to them around me at all and I can feel he is hiding our son from them.
@Cindy Hi, I thought about that but I don’t want to make him angry and unsure about if it’s my place to do so.
It is quite strange especially because he says he wants to and will introduce his kids to your baby. Perhaps he’s feeling reluctant because his other kids might feel a certain way about it? I don’t know how old they are so correct me if I’m wrong but is he worried about them feeling like he’s almost replacing them or maybe they’ll feel upset about it? I mean he’ll have to say something eventually anyway because keeping those things from them may also hurt them more in the long run
@Dionne I think this could be what it is along with maybe their mother might have a problem and he’s not telling me. You’re right, he will eventually have to say something because it will otherwise come out in another way.
That’s strange. I would simply be voicing these concerns and explaining how important it is for all of you to know each other and get along otherwise everyone is going to suffer
Edit: misread post and got confused sorry