Separation anxiety (apologies in advance for bit of a trauma dump)

Is anyone else suffering with separation anxiety with their baby?
I know mine stems from him being in NICU, from the moment he was born he was taken away to be saved and then straight into an incubator. I then used to be beside myself back on ward on the occasions I had to go back for rest/meds etc. Hearing all of the other babies cry and knowing I couldn’t be there all of the time for my little boy, I couldn’t even hold him until he was 3 days old.
I’ve only been apart from him 3 times, roughly about 20 minutes each time where Dad takes him out and I am just filled with dread and anxiety the whole time he’s away from me.
I really want to overcome this, not because I want time away from him, but because I know it’s not healthy for me. I also have surgery coming up and will have to be apart from him for a lot of the day.
Does anyone have any tips on how they’ve overcome this or are working towards overcoming it?

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Hi girl!
I had the same issue with my son (he was a preemie) so he was in the NICU for 2 weeks. I still have the separation anxiety but what I have done is going for walks but each day go a little further or if you have family in the area go around for 5 minutes and progress if dad is able to look after the baby of course. Take it day by day and step by step. The fear is real but it’ll be ok just got to take it easy and slowly🥰

I just recently started getting over my separation anxiety😂 I manage to enjoy myself for a while then I remember I have a baby and all the emotions come flooding back! I think it’s so normal considering they were a part of us for nearly a whole year🥹

My son & I both have separation anxiety he was born late but during holiday season & everyone wanted to (& just would) constantly take him from me in the first couple months and now I’m extremely anxious in general about his separation anxiety about mine and obviously the separation anxiety itself 🙃

I relate to this so much! My husband works away for some of the week so he’s had lots of nights without our little boy but I’ve literally spent like every minute with him for his whole 5 months. I think I’m slowly getting to the point where I could let someone else look after him for a bit but it does still make me uncomfortable, I think that’s quite a normal feeling at first. I’ve found spending time with my little one and MIL for example helpful so I can see how they are together so I know when it’s just them I’d feel a bit less anxious

Definitely agree with the first come t of going for walks, and increasing the time day by day.
Have you looked into counselling? You could even do it via video call so you don’t have to be out the house to begin with? You’ve suffered a trauma and they may be able to help xx

ah I’m sorry you experienced NICU too, I hope your boy is doing ok now!
That’s a great suggestion, I’m also in control going for the walk in terms of how long I’m away from him so that’s a really good idea. Thank you x

I do want to have some form of counselling. I’m waiting to hear back regarding a birth reflections meeting to understand exactly what happened etc which I’d ideally like to do first but I know I definitely need some form of help to process it all x

in our community

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!