Money Matters

How much access do you have to your husband’s / boyfriend’s finances / bank accounts? I believe as a SAHM we are making sacrifices too and should have full access to every penny. Am I wrong for thinking this way? How do you and your partner do this?

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Full access to every penny. I wouldn’t be a SAHM if this wasn’t the case. I would have just kept working.

My husband manages the money cause he can do better management than me 🤣, so I am perfectly fine with it. I would be overwhelmed by the amount of bills, mortgage and other spendings. He gives me a fixed amount at each end of month 350£ and I can manage my spendings. Before when I used to work he told me keep the money that I was working and spend them for myself, and he dealt with other spendings

Full access to every penny. Raising children IS hard work. We share debit cards to the same bank accounts. I have my own credit card but I also have his credit card with my name on it. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful I found a man who understands that it's important for young children to be raised by mama

Same as @Brittany 😊

Although my husband manages the budget/money as I’m awful with money. But I have access when I want, can spend what I want and I know what’s going in and out. He just “supervises” the budgets we both set

We don’t really use debit cards so I am on all credit card accounts. I feel like I should be added onto his bank account too, but I am free to spend for whatever I need/want in addition to to what’s needed for us/ the kids so it hasn’t really been a big issue for me to push. We have also talked about him putting some money into my account on a regular basis when finances are less tight as well. I still have a hard time thinking of it as OUR money but he always reminds me that it is!

You’re definitely not wrong for thinking that way! You being a SAHM means your kids are being raised by the best person for the job, and also means that you don’t have to spend hella money to have someone else raise them. I believe SAHM should have full access to spend however THEY need, and I also believe our working partners should be investing into our savings and a 401k if finances allow it.

We have a joint account that he puts money into every month for expenses and for whatever I would like/ need and then we have our own separate accounts. I transfer money over as I need. We discussed a set amount that works for OUR budget. With that being said…I put money into my retirement, life insurance and savings. A SAHM is a job. Full stop.

Full access!! I honestly dont manage the money or do anything with it or ever really check accounts, but I have a credit card and debit card with my name on it that I can use at all times. My husband fully acknowledges and appreciates the sacrifice it is to stay home with the kids. He knows damn well I can (and have) easily made good money outside of the home, but my value is in the home raising our babies ❤️ he has never once made any sort of comment about “his” money or about me not making money or contributing to the family.

Full access. All of our accounts are joint. We budget together and discuss bigger purchases with each other beforehand.

My husband and I both have accounts that are separate from one another, and we also have a shared account. The shared account has most of our money including our emergency fund. The separate accounts are not necessary anymore and are a holdover from when we first started merging finances, but it does help us "portion out" money based on what expenses it is for.

I do bring in a small amount of money working 8-10 hours a week. Not sure if that will continue as my LO gets older! Regardless of who earns it, all money goes to the family not to just one individual.

I manage the budget, so I also have access to his individual account.

Really depends on the family and if you’re secure enough with each other but I’d say to have access as well because otherwise some may feel trapped or loose independence and that can start a whole other issue entirely.

I don’t have access to my husbands account. We’ve been married for only a year now, but we keep our finances separate and he pays for all of our expenses, and gives me $2500 a month just for me to put aside into my bank account for me to spend or save however I want. His logic is that’s how much we would pay for 1 child to be in daycare anyway so that’s the minimum amount of how much I should be getting per month and that’s only fair since I’m having to sacrifice my career also and I would be making 6 figures.

Full access to all accounts. I don’t have to ask for a penny, the cards are OUR cards and I can spend what I want. Until recently i put all my wages in there too so mine was his. Now I’m a SAHM it’s the same vibe. The family money is all of ours.

He manages it all now but we have a monthly sit down talk where we discuss things like big expenses upcoming, things that need doing, business things, holidays etc. I have a say in everything.

@Tanisha same for us. My husband agreed to this way before we even had kids so he knew what to expect and he’s kept his word. I’m grateful for a good one.

It's not wrong for you to think that way. The finances are for the entire household, and that includes you, and the entire household should have a say in how the finances are managed, especially as the kids get older. I would talk to your SO to voice your concerns about the finances.
I have managed our household finances ever since we got together and treat them as if it's part of my job. I track the day to day and all of our accounts; my husband just asks me for updates.We have weekly meetings to discuss planned spending, compare with last week, how to improve our spending, and our financial goal progress/net worth every quarter. All of our accounts are joint. We use credit cards, but I write down each purchase in a notebook to keep myself accountable and make sure we are staying within our monthly budget. Our system is more involved, but I enjoy managing our finances and seeing how much we grow each quarter and it made more sense for me to do it as it is what I did for a living before becoming a SAHM.

I have one credit card I added my husband to that acts as a budget. We put everything on it and pay it off every month for the points since we do two big trips and at least two smaller trips a year.
I have an account my husband doesn’t have access to since he’s a horrible overspender.
He knows about it.

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