Customise your consent preferences for Cookie Categories and advertising tracking preferences for Purposes & Features and Vendors below. You can give granular consent for each and . Most vendors require explicit consent for personal data processing, while some rely on legitimate interest. However, you have the right to object to their use of legitimate interest. Additionally, please note that your preferences regarding purposes and vendors are saved in a cookie named 'euconsent' on your device and may be retained for up to 730 days to remember your choices.
Cookie Categories
We use cookies to help you navigate efficiently and perform certain functions. You will find detailed information about all cookies under each consent category below.
The cookies that are categorised as "Necessary" are stored on your browser as they are essential for enabling the basic functionalities of the site. ...
For more information on how Google's third-party cookies operate and handle your data, see: Google Privacy Policy
Necessary cookies are required to enable the basic features of this site, such as providing secure log-in or adjusting your consent preferences. These cookies do not store any personally identifiable data.
Functional cookies help perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collecting feedback, and other third-party features.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics such as the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyse the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with customised advertisements based on the pages you visited previously and to analyse the effectiveness of the ad campaigns.
Other uncategorised cookies are those that are being analysed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
How am I supposed to be a mom and be this depressed at the same time?
I love my kids so much of course. I mean literally I'd give my life for them. Metaphorically I have in a sense because they are my very focus to the detriment of me feeling like I have a life at all.
I keep thinking these thoughts and then feeling so guilty for it. Its how I honestly feel tho. I'm extremely burnt out. The last time I remember actually feeling happy for a few was last August. My sister kept the kids and drove off and parked by a creek and painted my nails and listened to music really loud. It was like a nice moment.. followed by a deep sadness that I had to go back. The only reason she had kept them was because I had cried on the phone and had a complete breakdown and she felt bad for me. Also like that was pretty much a year ago, how does she think I feel now..
Idk if anyone's listening but I'm going to vent it out for a min. I'm a single mom of 2. The oldest is a preteen and she's so rude every day. She was so badly bullied in school a few years back that she told me she was suicidal and since then ive homeschooled her. She has one best friend and she's in therapy among other programs I'm waiting to begin. She has even started being rude asf to her best friend and the girl told her today she's not talking to her anymore. It gives me a lot of stress seeing her life going this way and nothing I'm doing is helping, or if it is I'm not seeing it yet idek.
My little one is just a baby but he is always needing me. Always touching me. Wanting to be held. Kicks me and steps on my feet. Pulls on my shirt. And just needs a lot.
I know neither of my kids can help needing me. They are just kids. They need meals made and hugs and attention. Ect. It's natural and it's normal I'm not mad at them for it. I'm just too burnt out. I've known for a long time I was in over my head but I keep going because I have no choice. Literally.
I just don't see how it's fair that moms have to feel this way. Like there's no one else who can do this stuff. And if I don't do it then what happens to my kids because no one else is going to. There is literally just no choice. But it's killing me.
I can't afford a babysitter. My family won't help me. My mom is the only one who understands and she can't physically be of any help because she has cancer and is in a lot of pain.
I just don't want to have to repeatedly try to wake up my daughter in the morning anymore while trying not to get angry because she won't budge and the rule is if you don't get up within 10 mins of me trying you start losing internet time and she just says "I don't care" and I want to like fucking explode my head off. But instead I just grit my teeth and walk away so I don't say anything harsh to her. Then have to try again. I'm not having her stay up all night and sleep all day it ruins my life because I get nervous when she's up at night and I'm asleep not knowing what she could be up to and her anger and dark feelings scare me.
The whole time the baby cries if I set him down and the sound makes me cringe like deep inside I can't even explain it. But I'm autistic and a lot of sounds and feelings make me feel like curling up in a ball and screaming. I never do but internally I'm right about to sometimes lol. So instead I hold him and he squirms and he's heavy and I'm annoyed and every morning sucks. Then I come downstairs and he literally just hangs on me all day. I have to do breakfast. Change every diaper. Play toys. Clean up. Take out trash. Do laundry. Take my daughter to appointments. Feel the stress and annoyance of being touched all the time and having rude comments thrown at me by my oldest. I got pulled over by the cops the other day for expired tags and my daughter said "it's your fault" like she makes little asshole comments to me like that all the time and it fucks w me I'm ngl. I'm like how did I raise someone so fucking mean. Then my son will scream because he doesn't want to be in a car that's not moving. Also random but sometimes when I go to comfort him at home he pinches me and kicks me. Not to be mean tho I really think he just likes the sensation of doing that with his hands and feet but obviously it hurts and really upsets me as well so I try to not let that happen when I can. I'm just being run tf down by these kids.
I miss myself. I try to think of fun things we can do as a family and think maybe that will help me. Like a nice walk. No my oldest gets rude asf and either refuses to get out of the car or complains the whole time and says anything that is wrong (bees, the wind, wrong shoes, ect) is my fault or why didn't I know it would be windy! Or what the fuck ever. It's always something.
Also I have no money. I can't work but I get an ssi check. That's just not enough. With bills and diapers and household necessities and so on. I'm extremely broke. I thought maybe getting my hair done and getting shoes would make me feel better. I haven't done those things in 3 years. I started by buying shoes and I have to take them back now because I have a ticket and have to pay for car tags.
I'm just complaining tho. Maybe that will help. I don't know. Something has to give I'm absolutely depressed over my life. I hate it and I want to just leave
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.I tried to tell my sister last night that I'm really going through it and she was trying to be helpful saying things will get better soon and it kind of just made me mad. Because I don't believe that. What's going to get better? Like its not like I'm having a bad couple of days. I'm having a bad every day and some days I just try harder to hide it
I’m not sure how old your daughter is but she sounds old enough to have a conversation with about her behaviour and attitude towards you.
I would be explaining that if she wants to be home schooled that she needs to respect you, to get up on time and be ready to learn. As part of that learning she needs to help with her younger brother, learn life skills like cooking. If she isn’t prepared to do this you will be enrolling her back in school - not the one she left but a different one.
I think you should also reach out to your GP / health visitor to see if you can get counselling or support.
If your daughter goes to school you can get a part time job which will give you more money and a bit of adult conversation and your son should be able to go to childcare, if you are in England he will be eligible for 30 free hours a week if you work.
I really hope things improve for you. X