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I'm 9 days postpartum with my fourth baby, but it's my husband and I's first baby together. We both had kids in different relationships, he has one daughter who's 9 months older than my twins. Oldest is about to be 4 and the twins just turned three. This was happening before the baby but got worse once the baby got here. The kids do not listen to me, only my husband. Hes more authoritarian but they listen to him. Tonight I just have the twins and the baby, my husband had to go sort some stuff out at our old apartment since we moved so I'm by myself. No matter what I do i cannot get these kids to listen to me. I've tried to be nice, ive tried to negotiate? I've tried to be stern, I yelled and almost started screaming and they laughed in my face. They blatantly do not listen and act out, and the only way I get them to listen is to threaten having to get dad involved or just having him take over. I'm so frustrated and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to get them to bed for over an hour and I took away their hatch which I told them I would do if they didn't stop misbehaving and messing around, now they're screaming bloody murder in their bedrooms. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm beating them or something. I don't know how to handle this
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.Definitely take things away like the tv or hide toys. When I was a nanny in college I’d tell the kids I was “recording” them for their parents to see when they would embarrass me in public bc they were so bad 😭 They’d always straighten up when they thought I was recording.
@Asia ive done that they usually get a movie before bed i took that away then I took the night light and sound then I closed the door which normally I let them crack it then I threatened the toys like they just don't care or listen
What about threatening chores and dad giving timeout when he gets home if they won’t stay in timeout for you?? They say a minute for every year so if they’re 3, then they get 3 mins in timeout.
I’m sorry. But a belt and ass whopping is always an option. Or even your palm. Idc some kids won’t listen till they get one. Not all kids are “gentle kids” to get that gentle parent. Also you don’t ask them you tell them and if they don’t listen you make them. For example my oldest I told her politely to stop stepping on books I redirected multiple times (my oldest is also my step daughter) she did not listen I popped her foot. She did not step on books for the rest of the day the next day she was trying it again pulled every book off the shelf this time she went to walk right over them immediately told her no you don’t step on books I told her to get off them nicely she did not listen I flicked her foot. No real damage was done but she cried anyway because her feelings was hurt I proceeded to take her hands and MAKE her pick them books up….. sometimes kids will go against what their told it’s normal. However no more books were stepped on
Same goes for hitting I tell my kids how I grew up if you hit expect to get hit back no don’t slap the shit out of them but needless to say our oldest don’t hit or pull hair why because she kept hitting her dad and I, I kept telling her to stop moving her hand. I told her when you hit expect to get hit back so every time she hit I popped her hand. She’s pulled my hair I think twice I pulled her hair back (no I did not yank her hair like she did mine!) but it hurt her feelings more than it actually hurt her and now she does neither
@Asia they don't understand chores and putting them on timeout hasn't done a damn thing uhh
That sounds really difficult for you, post partum is hard, without other kids pushing boundaries as well. Remember it will get easier in time and this phase will pass.
I have to say I think both bits of advice you've got here aren't great 😬 they're 4 and 3 years old! Is someone seriously suggesting a belt??
I would recommend trying a few books for ideas e.g. how to talk so little kids will listen. I don't have multiple kids or kids of that age yet but everything I've tried from that book has worked really well with my 2 year old.
Taking away things like a night light seems a bit cruel, taking away privileges, sure, in an age appropriate way, but taking away comfort? What does that achieve? I remember being small and having my favourite soft toy confiscated when I was "bad" and all it did was make me feel really sad, it didn't teach me anything about behaviour because I just wanted my toy back.
@Rachel that wasn't my intention im just running out of options as to what to do. What book is it?