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My partner drinks. I hate it and have told him multiple times that when the babies are born (twin mum) that i wouldn't let him hold them if he drank. He showed up drunk tonight and I refused to let him hold them and he got angry with me telling me he was fine which I know he isn't. I dont want any harm to come to my boys but I told him he wouldn't be allowed to hold them if he showed up drunk. He won't go to aa or anything and tells me he can stop at any time, but after a week he comes home drunk again. Its getting to the point that I can do it anymore.
I need some advice
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.I would react the same way. If he wants to be an active father in the boys lives, he needs to show up and be there fully. I would be scared of him dropping them or falling over. Plus the smell isn't great either. I understand it's hard for people who drink a lot to recognise when it's a problem and I hope he can get the support he may need and also realises that he may need some support. If he can stop at any time then why can't he show up sober to see his kids? I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it changes for you and the boys x
The thing that gets me is he stopped me going off at the doctors in the hospital because they were in the wrong, and he expected me not to go off at him when I told him many times that I would?
I hope this is an indication to me being serious and him going and getting the help he needs
Yeah you can't just stand back and not say anything. I was in the hospital yesterday and I saw a sign that said 'alcoholism affects the whole family'. I am not saying he's an alcoholic but that sign just stuck with me. It really can have an effect not just on you but on children too. I think you've done the right thing by keeping him away when he's been drinking. x
I remember when my ex came home shit faced wanting to hold my baby girl! I was so fucking pissed! And him and his buddies just laughing! I had to leave the relationship. I didn’t want my kids growing up thinking that shit was normal. I had to lead by example for my kids.
My dad was an alcoholic and I have no relationship with him. Haven't spoken to him in 10 years! I dont want to leave him because he is great apart from the drinking and he assured me he would stop when they were born. Guess I was wrong
My mom told me she was gonna quit things when I was pregnant… she didn’t… I ended up walking in on her doing meth in my house after she was done babysitting for me… it can be a real slippery slope unfortunately
I lost my shit at him before he uncomfortably passed out on the bed. He will fix his act up for about 2 weeks then fuck up again and blame me.
You are very very correct. My husband and I both like to drink a lot but barely do since having our son. Once he had a friend come visit us from out of town and they got absolutely hammered and he asked to hold our young son who had woken up and I was like absolutely not and he was SO taken aback because honestly it wasn’t even a boundary we had set because it’s so rare for us. But he actually said you know what you’re right that’s a good call and he respected me for the decision and putting our child’s safety above his feelings.
I get the response of 'I'm fine' which i know means I'm drunk