I am 2 weeks and 4 days postpartum and it’s been the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and whenever I feel like I have to talk to someone I do but all I get is eye rolls and “ you look amazing for just having a baby”, “ I wish I could have snapped back like that “ I get these looks like ‘ what do you have to be depressed about? you don’t even look like you just had a baby’ And after talking to someone I just feel worse and I feel bad for having postpartum depression. But you know what it’s not about how I look it’s about how I feel. And Right now I’m having a really hard time accepting this is my new body. I feel like my son deserves a better mother, every time my baby cries I cry apologizing to my son for not being the mother he needs. I feel like my husband deserves a better wife. I go to bed wondering how I can wake up and meet the demands a newborn brings. And that’s if I do go to bed. Every time I eat food I ask myself how much can I eat without gaining any weight? And I eat 3 bites and I feel absolutely disgusting. I cry when I try to pump breastmilk for an hour and not even get an ounce of breastmilk because my breasts didn’t develop all the way during puberty.
So yeah I may have snapped back physically but Not emotionally. But my point is when someone comes to you and wanting to talk through there postpartum depression don’t look at them like there crazy or “ I had it worse than you “ look. Because it’s not a freaking competition on who’s postpartum is the worst. We all struggle through it, it may look different than yours but it’s still a struggle.
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