Dealing with tantrums

1,2,3 magic

I name the emotion and as long as she isn’t hurting anyone I let her have it. So I’ll say something like “I see you are mad. It’s okay to be mad. But we can’t hit/bite/etc...” and I tell her I’m here when she’s ready to hug, calm down, play

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We use time ins when she is doing something she isn’t supposed to. We also role play. She’s two next week so it’s a process. I’m going to look at that app for her minor meltdowns. When they have total meltdowns they just can’t think to do anything

Same. I think it’s technically a time-in? I don’t know. I also ask him if he wants to go to his room for a while and “take time to cry”. He is almost 2 years old. It’s pretty cool: he has now sent himself to his room 4 times to howl soooo loud and scary, like he is being hurt. I checked on him, asked if he needed a hug (“no”), wanted me to sit with him (“no”), wanted me to let him be alone (“yes”). Okay. He eventually comes out, or he says “Boo” and does the sign for “sorry”. I hope he keeps up this suddenly-good-at-self-regulating thing. Taking a break for yourself is better behavior than most adults! We also have been using a kids app, Stop, Breathe, and think Kids (not during total meltdowns). It taught him calm breathing, and I think he understands it.

I personally believe in spankings. I know some people don’t, but whichever disciplinary action you take, my only advice is to be strict and stick with it or else they’ll never learn.

I try to help them identify the emotions and re-narrate what I saw that led to the meltdown. I also like to offer food like apple sauce. And I say I’m sorry if something I said set them off. Luckily my kids aren’t that into tantrums.

What’s worked with my 2yo is completely ignoring her. I don’t believe in spanking unless she’s way out of line (hitting me, screaming in my face) and that’s really rare. She doesn’t understand time outs yet so I just calmly say, “that’s fine, you can cry” or “it’s ok to be mad, let it out” and then continue about my business.

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It’s not even a spank. I just “pop” her diapered butt

Spanking never helps coming from a mother of 4. It ends up being an issue as they get older.

Ignore!

We do a timeout in a chair in the same room as us, and we sit and talk with him about why he’s upset and if he’s feeling better. Sometimes it takes a few rounds of talking because he hasn’t calmed down yet. Seems to work! All I have to do is mention “the chair” (Dun dun dun) and he usually stops. 😂

I tell my kids it’s okay to be upset but they can’t scream or throw things, and if they can’t calm down then they need to remove themselves from the general area and they can be upset all they want. Even for my two year old I tell her that she can cry all she wants, I know she can’t regulate it with her immature brain and it takes practice, so I don’t punish for tantrums, I just let them know I’m here for them when they calm down, but while they’re hysterical I will not be coddling them. Please don’t punish your toddlers for tantrums, they literally can’t control it, their brains aren’t developed enough to regulate and respond to big emotions. Be stern, but don’t hit them or shun them away and tell them to stuff their emotions down , let’s all try to build a more peaceful society with more peaceful people.

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True. Tantrums are actually similar to panic attack in adults chemically. Stress hormones hijack toddlers (even school age) brains and then they must cry to get out cortisol and adrenaline which are chemicals released in high stress situations like fight or flight.

Take a break. It’s like a time out but it’s not a punishment. Or logical consequences, removal of privileges.

I will let them cry and tell them “when you’re done crying you can come talk to me.” That’s mainly my first warning. Every warning I give my voice gets more and more stern. I personally believe in spankings. I will warn you first and by my third warning, they better get their act together or they know what’s coming.

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Lots of research on spanking vs other tactics For interest may like NO Drama Discipline

No thanks!

Thank you so much everyone. I use gentle parenting techniques, so I aim for 'time ins' and a gentle form of 'ignoring'. Great advice from everyone, I really appreciate it. :)

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Yes continuum concept to degree? I think you would enjoy Parenting For a Peaceful World by Robin Grille

Just talking, I got threw to them. Then they would calm down. Sometimes I would get a piece of paper and crayons and let them draw while I ask them what’s wrong. Distractions has always worked for me :)

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This is a great idea !! I'm having trouble with getting her to express what emotion she is feeling.. this would be a great way to help that! Thank you :)

Taking stuff away and time out my daughter tantrum are really bad more so in public

My 14 month old is starting to get into it kinda, I just let her deal with it, thankfully she usually does it at home lol. She's 14 months so me getting mad at her isn't going to help the situation and probably make it worse we try to distract her by tickling her lol or taking her out front to walk usually helps her as she probably just wants to do something. She doesn't understand if I tell her calm down yet or to talk through it yet.

I ignore tantrums

Most of my 18m olds tantrums have always been because she wants to be carried around ALL.THE.TIME and sometimes I have to put her down (you know, to take something out of the oven or wipe my own butt 🙄) so usually I just let her cry a few minutes and repeat “mummy will pick you up in a minute when she’s done” and pick her back up and cuddle until she’s calm. I try to prevent tantrums by giving lots of warnings of what we are going to do, etc. The other ones are teeth brushing/hair brushing which are necessary evils, so I try to be quick and let the tantrum happen while I’m doing it. I’m pro letting children have opinions and feelings but also you can’t let their teeth rot or hold them when it’s unsafe/unsanitary 🤷‍♀️ I probably let my kid get away with too much and I’m really not sorry about that.

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I laugh at the kitchen and butt comment bc that too happens with me. I have twins so monkey see monkey do

I think each parent has different views and we should respect them. The age and developmental stage your child is at should depend on the route you take on how to deal with tantrums. With that said, we all do things differently.. good luck mamas.

https://consciousdiscipline.com

We also would say. Ok you’re not ok to be around other people so you go take a time away and come back when you think you’re ready. We were wanting to teach them self regulation. We didn’t time it but I wanted them to learn to calm faster.

How is everyone managing 2 year old tantrums? Like clockwork, our 2 year old has started throwing all out, breakdown fits. We’re trying time out. Anyone else struggling?

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I am on that same struggle with my daughter. You tell her no and she starts screaming and hitting and throwing things. I don’t know what to do either.