I’m planning g on only working nights and it’s 4 hour shifts so... maybe you can get a similar job.
It sucks. I found it really hard too. I ended up having another baby and took extended maternity leave but when I was working after my daughter I was gone 10+ hours with my commute. The only thing that I can give as advice to kinda help is make the most of the time you do have (at the expense of sleep/alone time). I would do all the chores, meal prep, etc at night after she went to bed (and passed a lot off on my husband, I told him if I was working equal he had to do equal housework), I got up earlier to get ready before she woke up. That gave me 1.5h in the morning before daycare and 2h at night after I got home plus the weekends all day minus nap time. It’s not enough, but it’s the most I could get so I soaked up every minute. On my lunch breaks at work I would order our groceries online for store pickup, I used amazon for pretty much everything so that I had no errands to run. Etc. But yeah, I feel you, it’s hard and I would be a sahm if that was financially my reality.
I feel for you, momma. One thing that makes me feel better is the knowledge that I'm setting a good example for my kids about work ethic and women in the workplace. I'm glad my girls have an example in me and their grandparents of women pursuing different careers. Staying at home is a great option for those who both want to and are able to afford to, but in our family we needed the income. Frankly, I also needed the structure and the outlet. I love my kids to bits and pieces, but I am a better mom to them when I have some time away from them to be an adult. It is always hard to know you may miss out on milestones, but you are going to be there when it matters. It is good for children be around other people too - the socialization of day care was always a positive for my kids.
For me, I don't want to work, but I have to. Just to pay my utilities and insurance. I was a stay at home and homeschooling mom until my divorce when my kids were 12, 9, 7, and 3. It was that, or stay in an abusive relationship, and let my kids grow up to think that was okay. I work while they're in public schools now. I miss them so much, I still sometimes cry at work. Since I only see them half of the day, and every other weekend, it feels like I miss so much and they're growing up so much faster.
Thank you so much!
I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re setting a great example for them by being a brave mama ❤️
I think it’s also important to recognize (if this is true for you) that you want a career and you want to work full time (or part time or whatever). I think that’s an important thing to recognize and give credit to when thinking about self care, that it’s okay to want those things for yourself and those wants and desires are valid. That thought has helped me a lot.
Last week when I said good bye to my daughter at daycare she turned her head and buried it in the caregivers shoulder. I made a big stink about it in front of her (cuz it makes her giggle), but I left there grateful that she has caregivers that care about her so much and that she cares about so much. And knowing that when I picked her up she’d be all smiles and ready for cuddles 🥰
At nearly 6 months old I’ve also started to feel more comfortable leaving to go do adult things. A big part of my identity before and during pregnancy was practicing Aikido. I’ve just gotten back into it and I know I’m a better person and a better mom for it even when I’m sad that she’s asleep when I get home sometimes. I definitely go in her room and stare at her while she’s asleep...and run out as soon as she starts stirring 😆
Get the free app