Screen time?

Try using screen time as a reward, maybe? I have for my son who’s 5 and when he asks me to watch tv or play a game I see what tasks I can have him take care of first. Cleaning his room is usually the chore for him, now I don’t even have to ask him to do it as he already has it cleaned up before he asks me for screen time. And while he’s cleaning his room he usually finds a toy he hasn’t played with in a while so that helps keep his mind off of electronics all together...sorry if this wasn’t all too helpful.

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That is actually really helpful. I think I'm going to start doing this.

I would keep this in mind for when my daughter is of age 👏

Definitely NOT crazy. My 9 year old has the attention span of a gnat...and I blame it on her screen time. My pet peeve right now is that literally the whole world could pass her by and she wouldnt even know it cause she is lost in youtube land all the time. I swear the internet is both a blessing AND a curse.

I think it depends entirely what they are doing with their screen time. I think iPads and tablets are great but for a 6 year old to just be playing games and watching YouTube I’d say that’s inappropriate. I had an old game boy at that sort of age and it was limited to short periods of playing and obviously only the games my parents had bought me. Puzzles apps and educational games are designed with benefits to the child in mind whereas videos of gameplay isn’t really valuable or informative content. Watching someone play mine craft isn’t going to teach your child anything beneficial. Sorry to be negative but I think it’s easy for parents to get caught in the tablet trap as it’s an easy way to distract a child 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think that having such a strong focus screen time is probably affecting concentration and maybe trying other apps as anytime apps and then YouTube as a treat may be better?

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👏

There are definitely books and published research articles discussing this topic exactly. It’s a hot one!

My daughter is 8 and was having this issue. We lowered her screen time to 1 hr on school days and 3 hrs on weekends. We also gave her 2 small chores that she has to do everyday, and moved her bedtime back some. The combination of it seemed to work really well. We haven’t had a bad report in over a month.

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I might try this! What chores do you give her?

She has to clean her bathroom and take the trash out

Yes it does!!! When my 12 year old starts acting up and acting all weird I reduce her screen time and notice a huge difference

Is ADD or ADHD a possibility?

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I would just talk to his doctor next time he’s there or make an appointment. They will help you from there. I had such a hard time in school and I had extreme temper outburst and I would obsess over the wrong things and I was a very messy person. I still am all of those thing if I’m not taking my medication. Also problems remembering things can be a sign. He may not have it, but it’s worth looking up and reading up on.

I have no idea. And I have no idea where to start to find out.

I 100% agree it technology driven children are normally much lazier and have a harder time paying attention/following directions. Not saying that’s the only factor buts often a common one along with those issues.

When my son was younger he would have a very hard time functioning when the word tv was even mentioned. I was called a tv Nazi for years until they all had to deal with him day in and day out and realized that he would throw fits if it got turned off and be mentally somewhere else if it was on. Which i get it, its nice to zone out but it was like he didnt know how to carry a conversation or comprehend after watching it. We personally dont let the kids watch tv an hour before bed nor do they get tv in the morning. We keep to a fairly consistent/strict routine and anyone who wants to be involved has to go by it unless its special occasions or circumstances. With my oldest consistency is key. If he didnt have structure or chores to keep him moving he got an attitude. He doesnt mind being allowed to help out and do things grown ups get to do because we have shaped it into something positive. My kids don't get a set amount of screen time cause we just keep them busy with reading, music, toys, chores, showers etc

I think it has something to do with it for sure. It’s not up to your son what he gets to spend time on, especially this young. I’m currently weaning my 2 and 3 year olds of YouTube. Today she told me “books make me tired” yet she can play toddler games on my phone all day. I immediately deleted all baby apps on my phone until further notice! F*** that.

Yes. Attention span decreases.

I think self regulation is key, while at school does he have screen time? If not, that’s not the issue. Looking into executive functioning. If you’re finding at home he has an addiction to it. You need to step in. My kids have unlimited screen time but we’ve taught them balance. They need to do other things. If they can self regulate they can dictate their time. 3/4 of my kids are holding 80+ average in school. The youngest has significant special needs so his marks don’t apply. But each kid needs different rules to help them be their best.

Theres lot of research to show screen time has a negative effect on childrens learning, behavioral and cognitive development . Nip it in a bud now so, that way it's not a problem later . Introduce more learning programs when you do allow him to have screen time.

Trust your gut, mama! Too much screen time can definitely be a factor unfortunately...

Agree with you mama. Limit screen time and check with doctors recommended time allotments.

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I think screen time is very bad for them. I let my daughter watch Sesame Street when I'm making breakfast but that's it. I think the strange way many 20 year olds act today is a result of growing up with too much screen time. Try to limit it to what is age appropriate per the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I feel like this is an outdated point of view🤷‍♀️ video games are great for helping building hand and eye coordination and puzzle solving skills. In this day and age technology is important ! Being able to easily navigate a computer , tablet or smart phone is a good thing . Kids do tend to obsess ,that’s healthy and normal. Maybe instead of just flat out limiting screen time and expecting him to be more focused at school a reward system could be in place for when he has a great day at school . Like a day at the pool or trampoline park ? I’m probably the one with the unpopular opinion but it’s worked for me this long with my 9 and 11 yr old boys

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I'm always saying this. Kids need to understand technology, it's not an option, its a necessity. Everything in moderation of course, I'm not suggesting 12 hours of tv for 2 year olds. I do think they need to grasp all aspects of life, including technology.

I grew up with television being a privilege which meant I couldn’t really use any electronics (unless it was for school purposes) until I was done with everything I had to do! I do think that zoning with electronics can definitely contribute to not being able to follow directions, but I think it’s super beneficial to designate time where there are no electronics so that everyone has to converse and interact with one another. You could also use games as a way of learning directions such as a craft or board game where you have to implement specific directions to get it done! Children learn best through play! However, I have seen the benefits of using electronics to do that as well! They are an amazing learning tool that can be made to be interactive and a way for them to follow directions!

Interesting :)

My son does have a lot of screen time, hoping to lessen the time and sometimes his homework is online so even more screen time

I don't believe screen time has any relevance to following instructions as most games revolve around following instructions otherwise they wouldn't be able to complete levels. I do think screen time needs to be controlled just like anything else children need to learn moderation. I think everyone has a negative view on technology and blames it for every behaviour going. If there where no technology it would be something else your children would obsess over. And in this day and age we need to accept it's a part of there world and will be even more so when they are older.

I have a 4 year old who has her own iPad. It is always there for her to grab and use whenever she wants. There are mostly educational apps on the ipad except for the disney app. She rarely plays with it and when she does she plays a reading or math app. She prefers 100 times over to be outside, do some crafting on her craft table, help me cook, or go to her classes (swim, karate, gymnastics). Maybe do more extracurricular activities and get rid of apps or shows that aren't educational. I wouldn't remove technology altogether though. My husband works in IT and wouldn't be ok with me taking away her ability to learn to use computers. They need to be able to use technology for school, work, and life.

Yes it does

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/04/health/screen-time-lower-brain-development-preschoolers-wellness/index.html

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I've not looked at the link, but I'm pretty sure CNN isn't a reliable source of information.

One thing we agreed on before our daughter was born was little to no screen time at a young age. Of course... life happened and sometimes we catch ourselves letting her have way too much because it is just easier. She was starting to get a really bad attitude and becoming very emotional. We cracked down and started setting a timer when she does use it. She knows she has to hand it over when the time goes off. Things have gotten much better and she doesn't even ask for it as often now.

Personally, I think it’s all lack of interest. My mother didn’t limit TV or video games at our house. I didn’t want much TV. My sister is a couch potato and watches a ton of TV (always). My sister is very smart and of course works to provide for her family.

Absolutely! I don’t allow my 4 year old to use his tablet unless we are on long trips because if he gets it he becomes an asshole for like 3 days. Demanding and tantrums and just general attitude. There is a direct correlation between his tablet usage and his behavior!

Definitely agree. We cut my step sons screen time down a lot. Like, he used to watch tv all day(it was on from the time he wome up until bedtime, even if he wasnt actively watching), and it's now down to approximately 2 hours, if that. His tantrums have cut back, and he actually listens to direction now. If he has a day at school where he misbehaved, he doesnt get any. His mother doesnt agree, but he is super good at our place, he asks to go outside, whereas before he never wanted to, and has learned how to actually PLAY while with us. We also have a 9 month old baby, and I dont want him getting used to screens early on due to the studies shown that it decreases attention span, brings about learning troubles, and other notsogreat behaviours.

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Comparing the way our parents "didnt limit us" is SO different. We didnt have Netflix. We had set times for shows we wanted ti watch, and we needed to watch commercials and actually WAIT to see what we were interested in. We didnt have high speed internet. We didnt have tablets. We didnt have the internet right at our finger tips ALL THE TIME. We actually needed to be outside, we learned to write and colour, use our imaginations and so forth. Just because we weren't limited, we still had limits, if that makes sense? (A response to a few others)

I've got a 5 yr old who gets almost no tv or device time and I still have a problem with him listening and following directions. Out of this whole month he has come home from school with 4 good days and the rest were mostly bad. Sometimes it's not just whether they are using a device or watching tv.

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Its actually really refreshing to hear a mum who doesn’t allow much screen time say her children have bad days. So many people like to blame screen time and suggest other people children are ‘badly behaved’ purely because of iPads. Sometimes we keep screen time to a minimum and other time we allow our son to have too much (usually because let’s be honest it can make life easier!). Is there a different in his behaviour? Not that I’ve noticed. Sometimes he’s an angel and sometimes he drives us crazy. Thanks for your honesty, it’s refreshing!!

What I did for my son was use the PlayStation as his reward at the end of each week. If the teacher said he was playing and not paying attention he would lose out on playing his video games. After some time we didn't have as many as issues as before. Using screen time and video games as a reward instead of an everyday privilege might be helpful. He still had trouble staying focused and organized at times until he was diagnosed with ADHD and once we found the right plan for him he is now an A/B student and more organized then he has ever been.

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Love this. We also use screen time as a reward. I’m not gonna lie and say he only gets it when he’s good but the amount of time he has and what screen he gets to use depends on his day. Use of the iPad is a reward for good behaviour, and tv is just my way of getting some peace lol x

We are in the same boat with our 5 year old. He is having a hard time following directions at school. We limit his screen time but I feel like I am not doing enough. My husband and I have been talking about how we should limit it even more.

Hiya hun I’m In the same boat as you about screen time my son is 9 and a nightmare with his computer :(

I think it all depends on the child. It just isn't as easy for some children to multitask or keep themselves from getting distracted as well as other children. Maybe just try limiting for a week, then you are compromising with dad and if either of you see an improvment you know it is what you need to do. Best of luck!

We love to do this if you have it: We set up a small trampoline and our daughter can bounce to 3 fun music videos. Gets her wiggles out and lots of fun 😀

I think as a parent you should always do what’s best for you child. I also think nowadays people put their children in categories and that’s exactly what we need to stop doing! At such young ages they don’t know how to deal emotionally which us adults also have a hard time to doing. Working on how to teach our kids how to express themselves in a better way rather than us putting them in a category like somethings wrong with them... times have changed!!!!!

We recently also started to limit screen time for our 2 boys ages 6 and 10. It's made a huge difference, especially in behaviour for our 6 year old. A while back we took off you tube for our 6 year old. We haven't looked back since. Our boys need to play with each other. It could be outside time together or playing Lego. As long as they are playing nice together then they will be granted about 30 min of screen time. Our oldest has anxiety and our Dr has told us that screen time doesn't help. You think they are calm and such but they really are not. So I agree. Limited screen time. 👌

100% exact same situation with my son - i took it away for 3 months and i was so surprised the difference. But also my childs 6 n school is full on etc its just something he likes to chill with so if all else is good he has it for half hour after school with snack as his chill time and thats it. But i do have to pre-warn him any tantrums when i ask for it to be turned off he wont have it again. Oh the joys of parenthood 😂😂

Screen time has a huge impact on kids. At my daughter school they are testing kids behavior if they watch tv at home in the morning to if they dont. And even my daughter better on the weeks her tv time limited. Its odd

Every study I’ve seen has shown that you are right. Attention span/impulse control are affected by screen time. If you want an answer for your child, why not do a screen detox for a while and see how/if things change. It can’t hurt

Hello 👋 Elementary school teacher here w/ an education in childhood development. You hear that “technology/screens are causing ADD”. Nope. Not true, this a biological issue that the child is born with. Although, screens have been causing ADD-like symptoms in children. Inattentiveness, impatience, etc. There is no delayed gratification when using technology & it is hyper stimulating. This is easy to see as an adult, too. I have a hard time just sitting on the couch watching TV without doing something else as well (folding laundry, being on my phone, etc.) When my internet is “slow” and each page is taking 10 secs to load (how did we do it in the 90s?) I get extremely frustrated. All this to say, w/o going on a complete rant, it is totally possible that screens are causing your child to struggle with attentiveness. That being said, I do not believe in removing technology and screens completely from children - there are a few reasons why allowing your child access to technology can be beneficial!

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Ran out of space - so I won’t get into all the details. I would suggest limiting his screen-time for now and seeing how that goes. Ask your pediatrician how long it will take to see the effects. If he’s still struggling, remove them all together. After that, if he’s still struggling it might be a biological issue like ADD. But don’t jump to that first! And if he does have ADD, we actually recommend using tools like iPads to educate the child. Because they already have a low attention span. Any who - feel free to message me if you have any questions!

Love this!

I only let my kids have screen time friday and on weekends. I don’t think kids should be on screens every day. Maybe cut it down to 3 times a week for only 15 minutes. Our kids earn screen time through doing chores also.

Definitely

I honestly think it also depends on what are they watching... is it educative? And video games is a no no in my case for example.

Definitely agree to limit it. I played cards with my boy last night n he said it was his favourite game now..just need more ideas as it's just us n no siblings! We play a lot of sword fights but that's pretty intense lol

Hello i noticed that my 9 years old son has the same problem, he is rushing his homework to go and play roblox or mincraft or watch youtube. He is really exited if he goes on screen or has too much sugar.

Just a point to consider from a healthcare worker here. Children’s brains need movement to develop certain areas. The child needs to move their body- run, spin, flip, and move around for the brain to stay healthy. If the child is sitting at school all day then comes home and sits to play video games or watch videos, you are not stimulating very important areas of the brain. It has long term effects, but you may be aware of this as it is happening in the brain where you can’t see it.

I don’t agree w/you either. If he is disciplined it shouldn’t matter about screen time. Organization skills and following directions come from you. You and your husband both have to enforce that. So if he doesn’t have a routine which helps with organization and following directions what do you expect? He knows when his chores are supposed to be done, when he supposed to do homework and what to do with his plate when he’s done eating breakfast, lunch, snack, or dinner. I have a 6 & 7 year old they both know they better not embarrass me while being at school. School is not a place to entertain or to be entertained. You want to play? Play during your breaks (recess and lunch) other than that... you have after school & before school. The goal is use all the manner they’ve learned so far and listen to the teacher & staff. If your son needs help with being organized or following directions because he doesn’t understand something he needs to ask questions. He needs to question you, your man and or the staff.

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We don't just let him do whatever he wants at home and he does have a routine.

Defo do not agree with this at all!!!!!!!

If that’s the case then there is an underlying issue because there’s no way that he shouldn’t be unable to follow directions or keeping things organized at school. Maybe it’s time to seek professional help speaking to your pediatrician. To me I don’t think it should matter though if he did have ADD, ADHD or anything like that. I use to be a nanny for this little boy Jaylyn and he had ADHD but he was so disciplined he knew when to calm down and do what was needed to be done no matter the situation. His parents refused to give him the medication because they knew they could fix it themselves and they did. I think the only kids that aren’t able to help them selves 100% are the ones that have intellectual disabilities somewhere on the spectrum.

My son is not in that stage yet, but Im planning on doing what my aunt did. She would guve her kid a limited ammount of play time a week. He could use that when ever he wanted, if he used up all his time in a day that would be it for the rest of the week. It teaches time (future money) management and spend less time with the screen. One time my cousin told my brother "why would we play videogames now, I can play with you and play videogames when Im alone" and that totally made me see that was the way to go.

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In what stage?

Well he is a baby, does'nt play video games yet.