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feeling conflicted

i know there are plenty of opinions about this topic, and i’m unsure what to do. my boyfriend wants to get our son circumcised and i personally want to cry thinking about it! i can’t imagine putting him through that pain and the healing process. we haven’t came to an agreement on it but his appointment is set for this month. i really want to cancel it because i’m not certain it’s the right thing to do just yet. im afraid i will spend forever hating myself and regretting putting my baby through that kind of pain. what would you do if you were faced with an elective surgery? would you put it off until you’re 100% certain this is what you should do? or just do it and hope you don’t hate yourself for not waiting until you were positive about doing it?
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Mama listen to your gut! My sons are not circumcised. It is an unnecessary, elective, cosmetic procedure. You are removing part of the genitals of another person without their consent. Other countries don’t even offer this procedure anymore. Dad is probably afraid of the social stigma if baby doesn’t get snipped, but these days a little more than half of babies are left intact, so it won’t be “weird” as he grows up.

What is your boyfriends reason for wanting to have him circumcised? It’s a completely elective procedure so why put him through something painful?

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he wants him to look like him, and because he thinks it’s dirty to be uncut.

If I was you I would not get it done! Let your son decide that himself when he is older!

My boyfriend and I chose to circumcise because of how cruel females can be. We thought about how it would affect him when he’s older and how painful it would be to get done once he’s older. We had his done at the hospital and he cried for less than 10 minutes and that was the end of it. The nurse also told us that circumcisions have gotten better over the past few years to lower the pain that they experience. Not sure how they know it hurts less but oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️

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you didn’t feel bad putting your son through that? i’m so worried of being a wreck knowing i’m inflicting paint on him for aesthetic purposes 😔

My boyfriend is uncircumcised and there’s nothing wrong with it. I understand that some people don’t want their sons to feel “different” growing up but what his penis looks like won’t be the only thing people point out if they’re just trying to be hurtful🤷🏾‍♀️

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True! My husband is intact and I’ve never thought twice about it. He also said that he never experienced “locker room shaming” growing up. And intact penises will be commonplace for our children’s generation so it won’t be “weird”. I should also point out that the foreskin is responsible for a lot of sexual sensitivity and removing it makes the penis smaller. I know it’s weird to think about our sons that way, but if we are talking about pleasing the ladies..... lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

i’ve heard it decreases sensitivity as well!! also i do know people who as they got older have lost some feeling all together and/or have issues with it being painful.

if it helps, when my son was circumcised he was over it in under 30 mins. Yeah it’s gonna hurt but the pain will go away, don’t let that be what stops you.

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how was the healing process? that’s what i’m most worried about is him hurting and crying literally because of something i did.

It’s quick and my son slept through the whole procedure . even after he got it done, he never cried when we applied the ointment.

Search baby circumcision on you tube and show him the videos. It isn't done for any medical reason it is cosmetic. Baby's have died from loss of blood for no reason.

My husband and I chose not to with our son, but we don’t judge those who choose differently. You have to do what you feel is right for your child. We didn’t feel like it was medically necessary and I didn’t want to make that choice for my son. My husband is also intact and has never had any issues that people often bring up like being “dirty” or more prone to infections. Not only that, but most medical insurances don’t cover circumcision anymore because it’s considered cosmetic, so it’s a nice chunk of change out of pocket to have it done. Those are just a few of our reasons for deciding against it. In the end it’s up to you momma. Go with your gut.

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yeah it’s definitely not covered, it’s $300!! that’s a lot of money to spend on a procedure, let alone one we don’t agree upon.

Motherhood tends to be equal parts intuition and research for me. My son (almost 7 now with no issues!) isn't circumcised. I didn't feel right about it for my son, so I researched like crazy. There's plenty of research available. In Europe, almost no boys are circumcised. Check out dr.momma.org. If you feel strongly about it, make sure you let your partner know you have reservations and would like to know more before the decision is made.

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https://youtu.be/Ceht-3xu84I Have him watch this. It's called an elephant in the hospital. Some people won't read things but will watch a video. Tell him straight up how uncomfortable with it you are. But remember not to say it in an aggressive way so that he becomes defensive.

i’ve very well educated on it, that’s what makes me so uneasy about it! my partner however isn’t, and he pretty much refuses (for lack of a better word) to do research regarding the topic.

My sons not and hes 3 he will make the choice himself when hes a man one day My hubbys pissed his parents circumcised him and wished his parents gave him a choice so thats why we wont do it

My husband is cut, I don’t have a penis so we decided to go with what we know. Baby was gone for the procedure for less than 20mins & never did he cry when in my arms. After care was very simple, no pain/tears or anything during changes. He’s almost 6 now & he loves himself in every way. Potty training was easy, dad helped- so he has seen dads peen. At church, an uncut boy ran out of the bathroom with his pants/undies around his ankles & my son quickly asked me “why does that boy have a worm where his peen should be?” 😳 “it’s a peen too baby, his is just different” “well it looks like a worm, I like my peen better”. He had just turned 5 at the time. It wasn’t a purely cosmetic or naive decision however. We did plenty of research & prayed over our choice. Also my best friend’s brother had to get a medical circumcision at the age of 11 due to constant infections & his skin being too tight. that boy was so angry at his mom for putting him through the pain & embarrassment of it in middle school...

I got my son circumcised while he was in the hospital he cried for less then 20 minutes and the healing process was fine my doctor circumcised him and he put a ring on him after his circumcision he said that I could put some Vaseline on it if I wanted to but it wasn’t necessary the ring came off when he was done healing and I would constantly ask his pediatrician to look him over to be on the safe side because he is my first child but if you do decide on doing it the pediatrician while always look him over down there at every visit and the hospital and his doctor will tell you how to care for it

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the appointment is set for monday at the pediatricians office. i know it’s going to be so much of an issue if i don’t do it, and by issues i mean between me and my partner and his family.. i feel backed into a corner here.

Just do what you feel is best your his mother just listen to your gut about it and whatever decision you make don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it and just tell them that as his mother that’s what you decided and that’s that

I don’t have any boys (4 girls!), but a very intelligent friend of mine who does has said she will always let her husband decide with their boys, because her husband has a penis and she doesn’t. Which makes sense and is truly a way I had never thought about it before! Especially because there is more than sex to consider. Sports, locker room, showers, etc. Good luck!! Whatever choice you make will be the right one, mama!

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it actually desensitizes the penis when you remove the foreskin. a lot less feeling down the road, and there’s lots of men who have issues later in life because of that. in my opinion, i feel like people will find anything to tease anyone about. it’s so sad.

It's got far more benefits... it's way easier to clean it, decreased risk of infections, sexually transmitted diseases and even some types of concern. So many men nowadays do it just for hygienic reasons i think it's better sooner than later the younger he is the less he will remember plus I'm sure they will make it as painless as passible it's not like back in the day or like in my country

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Not to start an argument, but research has proven that as long as you don't prematurely retract an intact forskin and teach your son how to care for it, there's very little chance of ever having issues. 1 in 4 boys that get circumcised have issues. In Denmark, 1 on more than 16,000 boys ever need it done medically. It pretty much comes down to personal choice, and cosmetics.

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Don't do it. I didn't do it with my son, and I gave birth in a Jewish hospital. Many judgements, but who cares, he's my son. That's your baby boy. If you don't feel comfortable, DONT DO IT. Just teach him how to keep it clean. There's a reason why you feel the way you do. Circumcisions are completely cosmetic. Don't put that baby in any unnecessary pain when neither you or your boyfriend are 100% in agreement.

My son was circumcised before we left the hospital and it took 40 minutes, when they brought him back he was perfectly calm and happy. He never showed any signs of discomfort during diaper changes or anything and the plastic ring fell off a few days after we got home.

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is the ring supposed to help stop infection?

I suppose, the ring covers the open part of the wound to protect it and keep it clean, once he is healed it falls off by itself and you find it in the diaper. Seemed to me that his belly button hurt worse than that.

My son is 3weeks old, my husband and i chose not to. There is no medical reason to. Each to their own but I couldn’t put my son through it. Besides that both my husband and i are European and it’s not the norm there.

I left it up to my husband to decide because he is that gender and he has a better understanding of what it would mean for our son. I trust him completely as a parent in making decisions for our son especially ones that I have literally no background in.

I got my baby done in his the first 24 hours. I'm not going to lie I always heard stories from my mom about how important was for her to clean that part and how was such a hassle for her to pull the skin down when my brothers were babies and how little she knew back in the days of circumcision, so when my husband (also circumcise) asked me about it I agreed. He showed no discomfort at all and the care was nothing but putting a lotion around the ring to help him dry and after a couple of weeks I found the ring in the diaper. I feel better to see his peen clean and not messing with the skin up and down... Wherever you choose feel confortable about it!

I will add my two cents into this. I left the decision up to my BF but it was the choice I would have made myself which is to do it. Mostly because I have worked in the health field with elderly men that become incapable of cleaning themselves and get nasty infections. Yes, there are caregivers that should help with that but I have had coworkers that don’t give damn. I would rather make the decision when my child is a baby instead of him going thru that as grown man. The other reason is because I have known men that have had to one as a grown man for what reason and they have all said they wished they had had it done as a baby. With that said....Do what you think is right for your baby. If you don’t want it done don’t be afraid to fight for it. We can only tell you what we would do and what is best for our family.

thankyou for all your input mommas! i really appreciate it.

The boy named Sarah 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I did it. My baby showed no pain when I cleaned him, when he peed or when the gauze fell off (he had a gauze around it and it fell by the 2nd day) No blood or anything after that. They also put a cream on it so he didn’t feel any pain. They still feel some discomfort (that’s what the doctor said)It’s your decision, so many parents don’t do it and so many do. You’ll make the right decision for YOU. ❤️😊

We had our son circumcised before we left the hospital and when they brought him back he was fine, calm & collected. Didn’t take long either.

My son is not circumcised, and nor is my husband. My doctor told me that pulling my son foreskin back when cleaning him is unnecessary.

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We are also european, and it's not the norm.

My son was totally unbothered by it. I’m not a fan, but my husband wanted him and the boys to all be the same. It went fine

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